Page 80 of The Seeker

“Well, I don’t want to overstep, but you can share mine.”

I held up my hand, showing him my palm. “I’m bonded to another.”

“What does that mean?” he asked, reaching for my hand to bring it closer to his face in the low light. “And why is there a line across your hand?”

“It’s a scar from where our blood mixed. A bonding is like a marriage, I think?” I honestly had never considered how I would explain a Seid bonding to someone. I’d never even planned to be married in the first place, ever.

“Oh that’s . . . strange,” he said, but then his eyes flickered to my face and he added a quick, “Sorry.”

“It’s okay. It’s a practice of the Seid. Do you have those in Frieran?”

He shook his head, digging around in his pack. “No, but I’ve heard of them. Frieran is very small, and very cold. Many don’t choose to live there, so I’m not surprised the Seid chose elsewhere to live.”

I carefully removed the saddle from the horse, wishing I had a brush to comb the sweat from her coat. As it was, I set the saddle on the ground, giving her a night without it at least. Then I turned to my pack, which I knew held nothing useful beyond several vials of poison and my change of clothes.

“I can build a fire if you need to cook,” Sullie offered, pulling a loaf of bread from his bag.

“No, I didn’t pack anything. I was planning to forage or fish but . . .” I trailed off as I gazed around the dark forest.

“Here.” He divided his loaf into two large pieces, holding the rest out to me. “Tomorrow we will pass an outpost where I can buy more.”

I knew it wasn’t polite to take his food, but the rumble in my stomach wouldn’t allow me to refuse, not after the meager breakfast I’d been fed before my life fell to pieces for the second time in a year. We chewed in silence.

“Do you want first or second watch?” he asked when both of our hands were empty.

I took inventory of my meager belongings.

“Wouldn’t want someone to make off with your horse,” Sullie explained with a knowing gleam in his eyes.

“Alright, I’ll take first watch.” It sounded like the safer choice, considering the circumstances.

“Fair enough.” He climbed into his bedroll, turning to face away from me. “Good night Runa. Wake me up when you find yourself tired.”

“I will,” I promised, waiting until his breath evened out to walk toward the edge of the trees, stepping out into the road to gaze at the night sky. The moons were separated, a smattering of stars twinkling between them. I don’t know if it was only because I hadn’t seen the sky in an age, or because I was in a different location than normal, but the moons appeared dimmer, and further away than before.

And I remembered what my mother had once promised me.

“Everyone has to go through changes, even the twin moons. It is the way of life. The only thing you can do, is control how you greet those changes.”

I hadn’t thought of my parents in an age. Not since that fateful night by the campfire with Otho.

The night when he’d lied about his father.

Right after the Purge, it had been impossible for me to move forward with my life. Everything had felt frozen, or fake, like a dream gone sour that I couldn’t wake myself from. But Collum pushed us to keep up with routines, and when most of the other kids at school were also struggling, we’d grown to accept the loss together. Now, almost eleven years later, I rarely thought of my parents, and soon I will have existed without them for far longer than I’d had with them.

But in moments like these, I wished they were here, just so I could feel less alone.

I didn’t know if there was a life beyond this one, and if there was, that my parents were there. No one in Ralheim had expected their parents to die so soon—before they had a chance to explain what came next. I decided to ask the old gods. Even if my parents weren’t there, maybe someone else who could listen was.

“I don’t know if you’re still here . . .” The words were a whisper. “But I don’t know where to go from here. Or if I should even go on . . .” I trailed off, out of things to ask for.

Why would gods care about this world anyway?

I had no problem staying up to wake Sullie, but it was a struggle to sleep during the few hours I’d allotted myself before dawn. I wasn’t sure if that was because I still didn’t trust him, or if I was that desperate to avoid Otho in my sleep, but when I eventually drifted off, Sullie shook me awake what felt like only moments later.

My eyelids shot open to find Sullie leaning over me, a finger pressed to his lips.

Any remaining sleepiness immediately drained from my body, and I tilted my head to match his, hearing the sound of hoofbeats in the distance.