Page 86 of The Seeker

“I don’t know,” She admitted. “We fought, and then I saw Otho coming, and in the end . . . though my sword was at his throat, I couldn’t do it. I let him run off.” Her eyes had tears in them again. “Otho saw . . . what he wanted to see. And when he didn’t see Leif around, he assumed⁠—”

“That he’d been killed in battle,” I finished for her, glad that I didn’t have more lies to add to Otho’s transgressions, because, despite everything, even just thinking his name was like a spark to my system.

“And Collum?” I asked, scared of the answer.

My fears were immediately quelled by the smirk on Friar’s lips. “Who do you think is watching Malheim right now?”

My jaw dropped. “You left my cousin in charge of a city?”

She shrugged. “We’ve been working to establish panels of citizens who can help make decisions for the city, so she doesn’t have as much power as you assume.” Her expression morphed from happy to serious in an instant, her hands fiddling with the blanket that covered Signa. “You should give your cousin another chance. She’s really changed these last few fortnights. Once everything is settled here . . .” Her eyes flickered to Signa. “Promise me you will come to Malheim to visit her.”

“I will,” I promised without thinking. It was the least I could do at this point, before remembering what Otho had said about her. “But how is it possible that she’s fine? Otho said the last time he spoke with you she hadn’t been seen.” I struggled to swallow, praying I wasn’t discovering another lie.

There was a sad smile on Friar’s lips. “It wasn’t a lie. After Malheim fell it was . . . chaotic at best. Your cousin was injured during the fighting on the streets. It took us several days to find everyone, and she’d been taken in by a family that had helped her until she was able to walk again. By then, Otho had already left to find you.”

I chewed on my lip. “But why didn’t you try to meet him in the dream space?”

“I had no idea you were that worried. I had no idea Otho would be seeing you so soon, and I assumed that him telling you he was prince would take precedence.” Her fingers fidgeted with the end of her black braid as she looked away from my gaze. “I’m sorry, Runa, but please, don’t be mad at Otho for what he said about Collum. He was honest to the best of his ability as far as she was concerned.”

It was a struggle to do as she asked, my anxiety climbing. I knew there was something else I needed to ask Friar. I set Signa’s hand down gently, rubbing the bond scar with my other hand. “Friar . . . how do I break the bond between Leif and I?”

“You can’t,” she said, sadness wafting off of her. “The bond will remain as long as you both live.”

My shoulders sunk. Though I never wanted to see Leif again, I didn’t think myself still in love with him. I knew I wouldn’t be able to kill him either. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized again. “I wish I could have killed him for you. It would have made it so much easier. But . . . I was tired of the bloodshed. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t add to it. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I shook my head. “I don’t love Leif, and our relationship will forever remain complicated, and bloodshed is bloodshed.” Her eyes widened at my admission. “I don’t hate him, but I don’t want to be bonded to him either . . . I’m glad he wasn’t a casualty of the war.” I held up my hand. “I just wish there was a way to undo this.”

“Who knows.” Friar sighed. “He may not have survived. When he ran, he had nothing other than what was on his back.”

I could understand Friar’s hope, but I knew Leif was capable of survival with very little—it was something he and I had always had in common. I brushed the scar again. “Will the scar remain when he dies?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, motioning to Signa. “We can try to ask her when she wakes again.”

“How long does she usually sleep?”

Friar stood, walking to stoke the fire before moving to the kitchen. “More and more every day. She’s usually awake enough to drink some broth at least. Today she forced herself to stay awake longer than normal because she knew you were coming. As such, I suspect we won’t be able to speak to her again until morning.”

I nodded, biting my lip.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “Didn’t have a lot of rations on the road.” That reminded me of Nala, and I walked to peek out of the window by the door to ensure she was still happy, tied to the post. “I need to sell a horse. Do you know anyone who is looking?”

Friar frowned as she chopped vegetables. “There’s no need to do that. Otho will provide for whatever you need.”

I shook my head, feeling like a rock was settling in my stomach. “No matter what happened with Collum, I’m not going to be with Otho anymore, Friar.”

She paused her motions, her gaze flying to my face, her panic obvious to my gift. “He made a mistake, Runa. You have to understand, when he first met you, he couldn’t tell you. Granted, he waited too long to do so, once you became important in our lives, but you have to know he didn’t do it . . . he didn’t mean it maliciously.”

I looked away, thinking of how I felt in the throne room when I’d found out. “He lied to me, Friar, it’s as simple as that. He did what Leif did . . . only on an even greater scale. I can’t forgive that so quickly. Unless you are suggesting I should have forgiven Leif as well.”

“I understand.” She resumed her chopping. “But promise me you will at least think about it and consider forgiving him in the future.”

“I will make no more promises.” I breathed.

Signa didn’t wake the next morning, and if it weren’t for the steady rise and fall of her chest, I would be worried. But as it was, she breathed regularly and deeply as Friar, and I shuffled about the house, completing various chores.