Page 94 of The Seeker

“I’ll leave first thing in the morning with all the books you have. Either we move forward with plans for everyone to learn, or I will start my plan to destroy the books. You decide.”

She still said nothing, and I could feel her indecision.

“I assume my old chambers are available. I’ll await your decision there,” I snapped before storming off.

Truly, I had not considered how it would affect me to see the rooms where I’d been kept prisoner when I’d spoken in anger to Collum. And it wasn’t until I pushed open the unguarded room to a sitting area covered in a thick layer of dust that I allowed the tears to escape my eyes.

Allowing myself to grieve what I’d lost in this space.

Although Leif hadn’t truly broken me, he’d stolen my respect, my awe, for love.

What I’d once thought to be something beautiful, magical even, felt like nothing more than a curse now.

I pushed past the couch, slipping into the dark bedroom.

It was exactly as I left it.

The bed wasn’t even made; there were still clothes on the floor that I’d tossed aside that morning in my haste to find the source of the screaming. The curtain was closed, and I pushed it open to allow the small ray of remaining sunlight in the room.

In a trance, I pulled a traveling bag from the wardrobe, moving to the side that had once been mine to pack the dresses that had been made for me. Although I didn’t really want to wear them, I would need more clothes than what I currently owned.

After the dresses I wanted to keep filled the bulk of the bag, I moved to the bedside table, pulling open the drawer to find the book of whispers also where I left it. I pressed it into the bag, closing the top.

I eyed the few pieces of jewelry Leif had ordered for me, but they were next to the few items he had owned, and I knew I would never be able to touch them.

I tried to sit on the bed, but the more time I spent in the room, the worse I felt.

Instead, I grabbed the bag, returning to the less offensive sitting room. I used one of the towels to brush the dust off of the couch before sinking down in front of the empty fireplace. I wanted to light a fire, but I didn’t know where I would find logs, or kindling . . . and I didn’t know any of the servants I could call.

I truly didn’t live here anymore.

Standing, I picked up my bag and left the room, heading to the only other room that had once been mine—the one I’d stayed in before Leif forced me to bond with him.

It was easy to find, and the door was unlocked. Unlike the bedroom I’d stayed in with Leif, this one was well kept, and a quick survey confirmed there weren’t bags or clothing belonging to another guest in the wardrobe.

My stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten anything besides the small bit of jerky on the road, but once I lay down in the bed, everything that had happened crashed into me, and my body refused to stand back up.

I would worry about food tomorrow.

CHAPTER 32

My answer came early the next morning, in the form of my cousin entering my guest room, a breakfast tray in her hands. The frown on her face, and the lack of books tucked under her arm gave me my answer before I could even ask.

“You’re not going to allow everyone to learn magic,” I said with a frown, skipping right to the answer I wanted as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes—I wasn’t going to bother with pleasantries anymore.

“I’m sorry, Runa, but the council has unfortunately voted against it.” My empathy gift revealed otherwise—my cousin wasn’t sorry at all.

I’d already dressed, preparing to head to the dining room for breakfast, but this saved me a step. I accepted the tray from my cousin’s hands, digging in.

“But, Runa, they would love for you to sit on the council, as the coven matron.” The smile on her lips was forced, and I knew they hadn’t wanted me to sit on the council, not really.

It was still so odd to hear my name in connection to a word that was typically reserved for women who had spent a long time in the coven, when I barely knew anything. I didn’t pause my eating. “Unfortunately, that will not be possible,” I replied in my most diplomatic voice.

“Just think about it, Runa,” Collum pleaded.

I swept the breakfast biscuits off the plate and into the bag I’d already packed. I stood from my bed, waiting to speak my last piece until I was by the door. “I’ve already thought about it, Collum. And I have come to the conclusion that we are no longer on the same side of this conflict. Therefore, I will not be sitting on your council.”

Collum’s mouth dropped open. “How can you say that⁠—”