Page 57 of Holding Onto Love

“A cordial? How preposterous. I can’t imagine why he said that. Where on earth would Henry obtain such a thing? Or ingredients to make one? From salt pork and stale bread? I have no idea what Crispin was talking about.”

He stared. Unable to fathom…not that Crispin would lie; he was not averse to lying, but that he had broken his own taboo to distract, possibly even to shame, their mother. In order to shield Vanessa. And now Jasper was very uncomfortable.

Could Crispin care for Vanessa? She had been adamant there was nothing between them, but what if she wasn’t aware of how he felt?

He felt a sinking in the pit of his gut. He would never have pursued her if he’d known. Yet should he have known? Had some part of him known?

He’d told Crispin not to disappear while he showed Vanessa to the Rose Room. To wait because he needed to talk to him. It seemed they had more to discuss than he’d thought. The devil. There wasn’t time for this. Not today.

Crispin had answered flippantly: Hurry up then. Flippantly because Father was still standing there. But Jasper was not supposed to take it lightly. He knew that much.

“Vanessa, I have to go. I have to talk to Crispin before Hazard’s party tonight.”

“He’s going too?”

“I assume so.”

He saw Vanessa let out a little breath. It eased her concern to hear that Crispin was also involved. That stung. As though she didn’t even trust Jasper to carry off a snub without his brother’s help. Well, but of course she trusted Crispin more. He’d rescued her from the French horde.

He gave her a brief kiss on the temple. Anything more would feel like a sacrilege in this house. Then he left her. And practically kicked himself the whole way down the stairs. He shouldn’t have brought her here.

Crispin and Father were still in the small parlor. If he heard right, they were discussing horses. Crispin should have used the time to change his clothes. A lieutenant’s uniform would have been acceptable, but he was not in uniform. His simple dark jacket and fawn pantaloons might have passed muster for a typical night on the town, but not for a party where the Prince Regent was expected. And the black greatcoat he had slung over his shoulders was dirty.

“No, it’s selfish, perhaps, but I’m leaving Mercury safe here,” Crispin said. “But I do appreciate—”

“Nonsense. You need more than one decent mount if you are riding all over creation. Take Jasper with you.”

“I intended—”

“Where are you taking me?” he asked, entering the room. “I hope not Spain.”

“Tattersalls,” Father said. “Crispin had Firebrand shot out from beneath him. He needs a new mount.”

“Oh, Crispin. I’m sorry.” Jasper turned to his brother. He’d had that horse for five years. It was a damn fine animal.

Crispin shrugged. “It was a horse. Are you ready? Kissed the lady goodbye and all?”

He put his hand on Crispin’s shoulder and shoved. “Let’s just go.”

They left the earl and walked without speaking until they were outside. Then Crispin said, “I doubt I’ll have time to look, but if you would find me something in the general way of Firebrand, and have him shipped over on the next transport, I would appreciate it. Father said he’d foot the bill.”

“The army doesn’t provide horses?”

“Nags, Jasper. And few enough of those.” He shook his head with disgust. “The poor creatures die in droves.” Then he set off, his long legs making quick work of the muddy cobbles. They were heading toward Brooks’s and would be too early at this pace. Jasper looked his brother up and down. He really wished Crispin had changed his clothes. Well, that was not worth the argument when they had others.

“Apparently,” he ventured, matching his brother stride for stride, “the army doesn’t supply its surgeons with the means to make cordials, either.”

Crispin scowled. “I could not stand there and listen to that. Mother was awful!”

“She was. She truly was. I never would have brought Vanessa to the house if I imagined—”

“You were right to bring her.” Crispin was emphatic. “I was relieved to see you thought to do so.”

“But you can’t really think there’s any danger. To Vanessa? She was angry, you should know, that I insisted she—”

“You didn’t.” Crispin stopped dead. “Tell me you didn’t say anything to her.”

“Of course not. What do you take me for? She only knows about Hazard’s soiree. That I intend to make a fool of Hilyer.”