Page 90 of Counting on Love

Chapter Twenty-Five

Alice was seated at the writing table focused on the letter she was composing when Georgiana flung open the door.

“Is it suppertime?” Alice asked, head down. “I’m just finishing.”

Georgiana dropped flat on her back onto the bed, shaking uncontrollably. Alice looked up.

“Georgiana! What’s wrong? Did—did the Earl—?”

“No.” Everything else was wrong. So very wrong that she could not possibly explain. She never should have offered to help Reginald. It was an inexcusable violation of the Taverstons’ privacy. And she had acted like such a child, erupting over the Earl’s infidelity. What was it to her? What did she care if the lords of Iversley were all rakes?

“Then what is it?” Alice pressed, coming to sit beside Georgiana on the bed.

She had to give some sort of answer. Fortunately, there was one thing she could—in fact, that she had to—confess. “I—I refused Lord Taverston.”

“He finally asked you? And you refused?” Alice stiffened, horrified. Georgiana knew everyone in London would react the same. What on earth was wrong with Lady Georgiana?

“He didn’t ask me. I preemptively told him no.” She gulped back her tears. What had she done? But what could she have done? “Mama will be so disappointed with me, but I don’t want to marry him. I can’t!”

Alice stared without comprehension. “You rejected him before he even asked?”

“It has been torture. Going through the motions.” She turned her face away, looking upward. The ceiling swam in front of her eyes. “Like a chain around my neck that kept getting heavier. Mama says I will grow to love him, but I won’t. I just won’t.”

“But you seemed to like him. You two are so pleasant to each other—”

“I tried!” She couldn’t tell Alice why marriage to Jasper was impossible. Reginald had made it clear that he would never ask for her. He wasn’t “that kind of man.” And she was furious with him for being angry with her. Did he blame her for not loving Jasper as she should? “Oh, Alice. I’ve tried. I don’t dislike him. But I can’t love him.”

“You’re certain?” Alice sounded peeved, and if Alice was peeved, Mama would be incensed. “What could you possibly have against him?”

Why must she have something against him? Why could she simply not want to spend the rest of her life with him? She flopped onto her side and, blinking away her tears, regarded her disapproving cousin.

“If you must, he is uninteresting.”

“Uninteresting?” Alice looked startled. Then she laughed with high-pitched disbelief. “Jasper Taverston? Not interesting? Who is interesting then? Can any such person exist?”

“Of course! Hazard is interesting. Crispin is interesting.” She hesitated for a moment before adding, “Reginald is interesting.”

“But you wouldn’t marry any of them!” When Georgiana did not respond, Alice’s eyes widened. “Would you?” She put her hand on Georgiana’s arm. “Would you?”

She jerked away and sat up. “None of them are asking me.”

“Georgiana!” Alice gaped. “Are you interested in Crispin?”

“Oh, for Heaven’s sake. No.”

Why not Reginald? Was that so unfathomable? Georgiana rubbed her eyes, got control of herself, and stood. “I should never have agreed to come here. People are going to talk. They’ll say I’m a coquette, collecting suitors like trophies. But Alice, is that a reason to marry Jasper? Because people will talk if I don’t?”

“Of course not,” Alice said, getting back to her feet also, but her expression was not sympathetic. “You’re not a coquette. But honestly, Georgiana, it isn’t good of you to reject all these wonderful gentlemen out of hand. It isn’t—” She twisted her hands together. “It isn’t fair. It’s capricious. And I’m sorry. I promised myself I would not be jealous of you. That I would keep my expectations realistic. I’ll likely marry Mr. Gamby, Georgiana. Mr. Gamby! While you toss Jasper Taverston aside because he isn’t interesting enough for you.”

Georgiana found herself at a loss for words. Alice was frustrated with her own coming out, disappointed with her own suitors, and she’d had to follow Georgiana to Chaumbers and take a back seat once more. Then Georgiana rejected the perfectly fine gentleman she had come here to pursue. Of course, Alice was irritated with her.

“Oh, Alice, I’m sorry. I’ve been so callous. This should be your Season. I had my chance last year and this year, we should be focusing on you. We will. When we go back to London, we’ll plan your coming out ball and I’ll stay in the background.”

A small enough sacrifice. After this fiasco, she would rather stay out of society altogether.

“That’s not what I meant. I want to enjoy this time with you. I know you can look higher than I can. That’s simply the way things are. But I’m worried about you. And so is the Duchess. Because there is no gentleman more eligible than Jasper. If you turn him down, who is there left to accept?”

Georgiana bit her lip, then looked down at the floor. “I’m not capricious. And I don’t think that I was being unreasonable, waiting for the right man to love. Not anymore.”