Page 83 of Yielding to Love

“Yet within a few weeks, you married Sir Bodwell. You tell me what I am supposed to think. That you suddenly found yourself madly in love with a dull fellow twice your age who talked of nothing but farming? That you were swept off your feet by an old man with one foot in the grave? Or did he coerce you?”

Her face went ashen. “Don’t speak ill of Manfred.”

He laughed. “So it was love?” He felt a mounting rage—and he was not given to rages. “Or was he a passionate kisser? Could he satisfy you in bed?”

She jumped up, blushing furiously. He stood also and moved toward her, sneering. “If you’ve come to give me a second chance—”

“Stay back!” She held up her hand, palm toward him.

He halted. Her expression was both fierce and alarmed. The devil. Aware of how threatening he must appear, he took a step backward. Words were his weapon. Silence was hers; words were his. He would not have touched her. Not in anger. Surely she knew that.

She lowered her hand. Then she breathed in raggedly and exhaled slowly. “This was a mistake.” Her voice shook. She gestured for him to step aside. “I will leave you in peace.”

“Another mistake? I thought, perhaps, that you recognized your error, Lady Bodwell, and hoped to rectify it. I understand that titles are appealing, and that Manfred had property—”

“Is that what you think?” She gaped, wide-eyed as though stunned. “That I rejected your…your mean-spirited, resentful offer of marriage for the material benefits Manfred could provide?”

Mean-spirited and resentful?

“Why else?” He tried to be flippant, but he felt cold inside. Could she give any answer that would not cut him to the quick? “I also have property, you know. Property that is not entailed. And I might not be titled, but I am heir to an earl. Admit it, Lady Bodwell, you backed the wrong horse.”

She remained silent, but wrung her hands. Was that confirmation or denial?

He raised one eyebrow in a mocking fashion. “Why did you come here?” He pitied her situation. The unfairness of it. Women’s lot. But what did she expect of him? Another rescue? Another proposal? “Your circumstances are unfortunate, but not my concern. I owe you nothing.”

She turned her face away. “I never thought you owed me anything. Never. I thought I owed you.”

“Oh, come now. What could you owe me?”

With a groan, she said, “Nothing. I was wrong. I should not have come.”

“But you are here. Tell me.”

She rubbed her eyes, but she did not appear tearful, merely tired. “There is no point. You have the answers that suit you. Believe what you will. It no longer matters.”

“No longer? I think it safe to say it never did.”

She caught her breath sharply, the surprised sound made by a soldier suddenly on the wrong end of a bayonet.

Why? What should have mattered to him?

She locked her eyes on his. Searching. He had to break the gaze first, fearing what she might find.

Pain. Not anger. Pain. Oh, God—he had cared for her. Fool, fool! She’d filled the empty place in his life. And now that empty place was a chasm.

“No, you don’t know,” she whispered. Then she shivered. “I’m so sorry.”

Without waiting for his reaction, she started toward the parlor door. He stood rooted to the spot, replaying the entire exchange swiftly through his mind, trying to resee everything differently, stripped of his anger, trying to understand why her apology sounded so full of compassion when he had done his best to be cruel. Mean-spirited and resentful. Sickly, weak, spiteful, mean-spirited, and resentful. She knew him well.

He heard the swish of her skirts moving down the hall. He turned, opening his mouth to call her back, but the cry stuck in his throat. The front door opened, then closed.

“What don’t I know?” he whispered.

*

Crispin was in no mood to interview servants. He thanked God for Vanessa, who took charge. They brought the women into Jasper’s office, one after another. Vanessa sat at the earl’s desk and asked questions, while Crispin stood brooding behind.

The first woman was too young. Too flirtatious. She tried ingratiating herself with them both, until he informed her that whomever he hired would be expected to spend several months in Binnings. That was not acceptable. Apparently, she had a young man in London.