Page 105 of XOXO

It couldn’t be Vi if he was adamant on her not staying at a hostel and demanding she stay with us or was he as conflicted about her as I was? These last two weeks had been amazing, some of the best days I had had in a long while. I was a little peeved when she came with us, infringing on our boys’ trip, even if Ru had invited her. The trip turned out better than I had expected and this morning I was not ready to say goodbye. I didn’t think any of us were. What if we weren’t ready to say goodbye after Athens?

Levi and Vi had fallen asleep just outside of Athens, but the traffic was awful, adding more time to our drive. Ru sighed, rubbing his head. This might be the only chance I got to talk to him.

“Start talking or else I’m going to have Levi pester you,” I said, pulling out his earbud.

Ru glared, clenching his jaw. “Drop it, Matteo.”

“No, unless you want them awake for this, you better start talking,” I said, leaning against the window so I could look at him.

“Look, I’m just feeling lost and overwhelmed," he snapped. “I already told you that, so why⁠—”

“I would believe that if you hadn’t changed from one second to the next,” I interrupted him. “After we had sex in the cabana, it’s like a switch went off.”

Ru scowled, meaning I was on the right track.

“So, what happened? What did she do or what changed?”

“Nothing happened,” he grumbled. “This just felt too real and…”

He didn’t finish his sentence, chewing on his lip as I waited.

“Mark said he was happy for me, that we all deserved a nice girl and Vi was a sweet one,” he said, running his hand down his face.

“Ok, and that’s bad because?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“Mark knew,” he scoffed. “How many other people saw us out? Who knows who took pictures of us? What if they sell the story?”

Now it made sense.

“Well, everyone on the boat signed an NDA so that covers that, but we were all careful when we were out and about,” I said, thinking of every time we went out and what we did. “Levi and I mostly held her hand or⁠—”

“What about her?” He looked over to where Vi was asleep on Levi’s shoulder.

I scowled. “You think she is going to sell her story?”

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” he sighed.

“Have her sign an NDA,” I said. “It’s the best solution if you are worried about her.”

“My agent said the same thing, calling her a liability,” he said, looking out the window. “She popped up twice and what are the odds she fucked all of us?”

“Well, you did just invite her twice,” I said, trying to help him, but it felt like I wasn’t going anywhere.

“I know; I’m a fucking idiot,” he growled. “The thought of her leaving and staying at the stupid hostel made my skin crawl. The one in Italy was ok, but this last one was sketchy as hell.”

“Maybe it’s time to admit you like her even if it scares you,” I said, looking over to make sure they were still asleep.

He took a deep breath in. “It’s not about admitting it, I know I like her; she fucking scares me. This entire thing scares me. I can’t have it if I’m still acting. Can you imagine what the tabloids would say about us?”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. We don’t even know what this is⁠—”

“Exactly! So why put my career at risk for her?”

I knew what he was saying, it made sense. But the way he made Vi sound didn’t sit well with me.

“Maybe you need another session with your therapist. I feel like you’re compounding your fears and it's not good for you,” I said, praying he didn’t take it the wrong way.

“I have one scheduled for this afternoon,” he sighed. “I know I’m overreacting, but it's like I can’t stop it. My mind is on an endless loop of what-ifs. I’m just along for the ride, one that I can't get off, no matter how much I want to.”