Page 83 of XOXO

22. Ruwon

If you can’t beat em, join em?

Watching Matteo take away the girl you’ve been thinking about constantly, into his bedroom of all places, made me feel things about my best friend I never thought possible. Why the hell did we all have to sleep with her? The one woman I found that I connected to, made me feel seen and didn’t care about me being an actor had slept with my best friends too. I wanted to feel disgusted with her, but how could I when Matteo and I would sleep with women and leave in the middle of the night. We enjoyed living life one night at a time.

How could I be upset that she was doing the same thing?

When Levi told me to come into their room to have some fun, it made me even more angry. I did not like to share and there was a part of me that hated her for making me feel this way. It was too much of a coincidence that she had fucked all of three of us on her vacation through Europe. What were the fucking odds? It wouldn’t be the first time a woman sought out my friends to get close to me. Was Violeta that type of woman?

I slept fitfully last night as I heard their groans and moans. Violeta’s sounds haunted me, reminding me of our time together. More than once I had to stop myself from going inside the room to pull her away from them and fuck her in my room alone. I felt so ashamed that I masturbated imagining her with me, with my friends watching me as I made her come.

Fed up with all my tossing and turning, I growled, getting up from my bed to start my day. It was only six in the morning, but I needed to get ready for a photo shoot before we left on our boat.

The house was silent as I padded into the kitchen, stopping when I saw Violeta looking out the window. She was in a large shirt I assumed was one of the guys, arms crossed, looking a little lost. I wanted to hate her, to make her leave, so that I could spend time with my best friends, except that was the last thing I wanted. Even after I sat with all this hate last night, I still wanted her.

I cleared my throat, startling her as she turned around. Her eyes grew large when she saw me, biting her lip. She tried to smile like everything was ok, but it wasn’t.

“Good morning,” she said, her voice gruff from sleep.

“Trying to run away?” I walked into the kitchen to start some coffee.

“I thought about it,” she said, walking to the island in the middle of the kitchen. “I couldn’t do that again to Levi.”

“Finally realizing you're breaking his heart?” I snapped, and immediately felt like an asshole.

She scrunched her nose. “I seem to recall you left me too.”

I scoffed. “After finding out you left him twice, I don’t feel so bad after all. I mean, did you plan to hurt him to get to me?”

“What?” she growled. “Damn, I thought you being an asshole the first time was you being stressed or whatever bullshit excuse you gave me. I didn’t realize that maybe it was a factory setting.”

“So, you don’t deny it?”

“I don’t think it deserves an answer,” she snapped. “Coincidences happen, Ruwon. Serendipity is a real thing. I get you’ve had some bad experiences, but I had hoped you would have learned to really think about what you were saying before you fucking said it. Yeah, you're famous and a certain excitement comes with that, except me going through this elaborate scheme isn’t me. I could give a rat's ass if you were famous.”

We stared at each other, the silence deafening. I knew my argument was shit, but Violeta scared me. What she made me feel during our days together felt special, life changing. No other woman had made me feel the same.

I looked away first, ashamed I was acting like this again. Lately, everything felt bigger than it should have been and my anger took over quickly. I used to be the laid-back guy who went with the flow. After the military, I was still searching for him.

“I don’t know what it's like to be famous with people following you all around, encroaching on your personal time,” she sighed, running her hand through her hair. “So, I’m going to leave. I came to Greece early because you had mentioned it, but I’m not a stalker. I had no earthly idea you would be friends with the men I slept with after finding them through the app.”

She got off the stool.

“For what it's worth, I had an amazing time in Italy and I hated that you left before I could say goodbye properly. I guess that was some kind of karmic payback,” she said, pulling her hair to the side, fussing with something behind her neck. “I hope you guys have a great trip and thanks for showing me a great time.”

She put something on the counter before leaving. It was the XOXO necklace I had gotten for her. I clenched my jaw feeling unbalanced, my chest aching as I felt the familiar tightness that usually led to me having a panic attack. A loud noise startled me as I glanced around looking for what had caused the ruckus.

“Chinga tu pinche madre.”

I rounded the island to see Violeta on the floor by the window she had been standing near, with a chair toppled over next to her.

“Are you ok?” I walked over to her immediately.

“Fine,” she grunted, sitting up, rubbing her back.

I laughed, stopping immediately when she glared at me.

“That was not funny,” she snapped, standing up as I helped her get up. “I forgot my bag.”