Page 51 of Shai

I nodded. “I know. I’m just being stupid. I’m sorry. Put it down to

nerves. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen the outside world.”

Shai reached across the table and threaded his fingers through mine.

“Enjoy it! Once I know I can trust you and you’re not going to make a run for it, we can do it more often.”

I hadn’t even considered escaping. Was that crazy? I turned my head to

the street again, trying to picture a scenario where that might happen. Shai had driven. There was only the two of us as far as I knew, unless he’d gotten his men to follow at a distance and they were waiting in the car. I could probably give him the slip, but then what? Where would I go? Even if I managed to get out of the city, I couldn’t go to my sister’s because Shai knew that address, and what about when I needed Void? I had no money. I supposed I could sell my body. After all, there was virtually nothing left that I hadn’t done with a man. Even so, I shuddered at the thought. I’d done them all with Shai. Shai was handsome. He wasn’t some sweaty pervert out to buy what he couldn’t get for free.

I lifted my gaze to his. “I won’t be running.”

His lips curved into a slow smile and he lifted my hand to his mouth,

pressing a kiss to the back of it, which sent a flutter of something that had nothing to do with sex through me. “I’m very glad to hear that.”

Was he? As usual when dealing with Shai, I found myself searching for

the hidden meaning beneath his words, for the truth that lived in the spaces between words and actions. For all intents and purposes, he was acting like an enamored date. Could I believe that? Did I want to? Life with him was like wading through quicksand, every movement only dragging me down further. It was exhausting to look for constant clues, to second guess everything, and I was already dealing with enough with my drug dependence. Like it or not, Shai was my life now. I could either drive myself crazy or I could accept it.

I relaxed back in my chair and offered Shai a smile. His eyebrows rose,

but he didn’t comment. “What are we eating?”

He waved a hand at the menu in front of me that I’d barely looked at.

“Whatever you want.”

I studied it for a few moments. “So if I ordered the whole lobster at”—I let out a low whistle at the price—“I’m not even going to say that amount aloud. You wouldn’t have any objection?”

Shai tugged at his sleeve, the diamond in his cufflink catching the light. “As you once so bluntly pointed out, I am not short of money.”

I held his gaze. “That doesn’t mean you’re willing to spend it on me.”

He steepled his fingers together in front of him. “Just for the record, insecurity is not an attractive quality to me.”

“No?” I ducked my head, the words on the menu blurring as I pretended a great interest in it. Luckily, I was saved from having to say more by the arrival of the waiter, his agitation at Shai’s presence clear to see from the way he made sure to focus on a point somewhere over Shai’s right shoulder rather than look directly at him.

I waited until Shai was midway through his main course of chicken parmigiana before broaching a subject that had continued to plague me. “How is your plan to dethrone McIntyre coming along?”

Shai turned his head to stare out of the window, his gaze fixed somewhere in the distance, as if the pictures he was seeing in his head were a long way from the view in front of him. Something flickered across his face before he schooled it and turned back to face me. “Everything is progressing as it should be.”

“Yeah?” I couldn’t keep the note of surprise from my voice. I might spend half my time fucking, or completely out of it, but I would have expected to pick up on something brewing in the compound if there was a plan in play. Yet, everything had seemed normal, or at least what passed for normal in Shai’s world. There’d been no air of anticipation or excitement, the men going about their business the same way they always did. “How long will it take?” I knew Shai wouldn’t divulge the plan, but I might be able to get a few nuggets of information out of him if I dug deep enough.

Shai lifted a forkful of food to his mouth, waiting until he’d chewed and swallowed before speaking. “These sorts of things can’t be rushed.” He placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “Have you ever played chess, Elijah?”

I shook my head. I’d been too busy scraping enough money together to survive the week to spend time on what quite frankly was a game for overblown intellectuals who had nothing better to do with their time. “I know the basics of it, though.”

Shai’s mouth twisted. “There is nothing basic about chess. It’s about

thinking several moves ahead. It’s about maneuvering your adversary into a position where they think they chose to be. Chess is a beautiful game. We should play it some time.”

I stared at him. Was he serious? “You’d win.”

His lips curled into a smile. “Maybe, at first. But I could teach you.

Maybe you could get to the point where you can give me a good game.”