Page 56 of The Death of Kisses

One day before Charlotte’s Birthday - September 9th - Town of Coldwater - Population 1,249 - 18 yr old

Lee burst into laughter from the kitchen, the coffee cup in his hand splashing hot liquid as we watched Charlotte struggle with her toast, a gentle scowl etching her face with quiet frustration. My heart ached at her little mishap, but I couldn’t help but chuckle, stepping in with a tenderness born from love. “Charlotte, it’s not rocket science,” I said softly, voice warm with patience. “Just put the bread in and set the timer halfway.” My hand reached out to gently guide hers, offering comfort and support.

Lee’s voice echoed with playful humor as he said, “Yeah, listen to Lilly; she’s cooked enough for both of you,” grabbing the keys from the counter with a subtle, knowing smile. We both understood where his thoughts were heading, though he remained silent—an unspoken desire burning in our eyes. I needed her birthday to be perfect, filled with moments she’d always remember.

Charlotte’s voice, tinged with worry, broke my heart slightly. “I still don’t like the idea of going to school without you, Lilly.” I saw the vulnerability in her eyes, and a bittersweet smile touched my lips.

“It’s okay,” I hushed her, warmth flooding my voice. “I’ll be here when you get back. Then we’ll settle in, binge some trashy TV, and just be together.” I watched her pick up the toast, slathering it with jelly, trying to mask her nerves but still clinging to that innocent hope.

“Promise you’re okay for a few hours?” she asked, gently squeezing my cheek. I nodded, swallowing my fears.

“I promise,” I said softly, extending my pinky for our silent vow. We sealed it with a clasp, our bond unspoken but fiercely felt.

Lee hugged Charlotte tightly, a protective embrace grounded in love, then winked at me with a quiet resolve. “Dad and I will be back tomorrow morning for your birthday,” he promised, “maybe sooner if the meeting ends early.” His voice was full of anticipation and love, a promise to be there.

As he headed out, Charlotte called out with a teasing grin, “Bring me back some Waffle House chocolate pie, or I’ll disown you!” Her voice was laced with affection and playful mischief.

I couldn’t help but smile weakly, “You and your pie.”

She nudged me. “You haven’t had it enough for your taste buds to crave it.”

“No thanks,” I muttered, sticking my tongue out. “It’s just sugar, anyway.”

Her eyes sparkled with teasing delight. “But it’s soooo good,” she sang, elongating the ‘o’ as we settled at the bar, toast in hand, the morning’s chaos fading into tender silence.

I mustered the courage to ask, more to fill the quiet than anything else, “Are you ready for adulthood?”

Charlotte looked at me, hesitation flickering in her eyes. “Fuck no,” she admitted, voice bare with honesty. “I can't even cook to save my life.”

I chuckled softly, reassuring. “That’s okay. You’ve got plenty of time to learn.”

She smiled brightly, a flicker of independence shining through. “No worries—I won’t have to be with you and Lee forever.”

Her phone lit up with the alarm she set before class, and her eyes widened in panic. “Shit, I need to go or I’ll be late!” She threw her arms around me in a tight hug, then rushed out the door before I could even respond. I’d almost told her to skip school.

I stood there, staring at the half-eaten toast, the warmth of the kitchen suddenly feeling distant, almost cold. The quiet hum of the morning hung heavy around me, as the love and chaos of that moment etched themselves deep into my heart.

44

UNBEARABLE

A few hours before her birthday - September 9th - Town of Coldwater - Population 1,249 - 18 yr old

My fingers ached with an unbearable craving for a cigarette all day long, a relentless tug that I couldn’t shake. Lilly and I barely shared any classes on a normal day, yet I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her alone in that fragile, trembling silence. When the final bell finally rang, I was out the door like a shot, faster than anyone could try to stop me. I threw myself onto the bike and tore down the backroads with reckless abandon, my heart pounding as if it might burst from my chest—flying at eighty, fear and adrenaline mingling in my veins. I nearly collided with a cow standing stubbornly in the middle of the road, but the thunderous roar of my engine scared it away just in time, as if nature itself was begging me to stop or be consumed by chaos.

Last week, Lee had caught her mid-jump from the balcony, a moment so raw I could still feel it in my bones. We’d hoped she was on the mend today—that maybe, just maybe, she’d started healing. And yet, I wished with every ounce of my being that this day would somehow fly faster, that Lee wasn’t the one forced to leave her alone for hours on end. My grip tightened on the handles as I pushed the bike faster, anguish fueling my every shift of gears, until I saw our long driveway looming ahead. Lee had said it was unavoidable—he and Dad couldn’t miss that meeting. I begged the few servants I knew to keep watch over her, to protect her, to hold onto her fragile hope. But as I slowed my bike at the gate and looked up the driveway, a bitter, sour knot tightened in my throat. A sense of dread settled deep inside me, whispering that no matter what we did, some things could never truly be saved.

My feet violently raced from my bike to the door, every step fueled with urgency, and I flung it open, my voice cracking with hopeless emotions as I shouted her name, “Lilly!”

She darted out of a room like a lightning bolt, her eyes bloodshot and swollen—whether from sleep or tears, I wasn’t sure—and in that moment, my heart finally dared to slow, allowing me to throw my arms around her, holding her close as if I never wanted to let go.

“Oh, thank God,” I exhaled, overwhelmed with relief and raw love.

“Hey, don’t squeeze too tight—I’m still baking your pie!” she teased, swatting at me with a soft, genuine smile curling at her lips.

“Pie?” I asked, pulling her into a gentle but firm hold, my eyes catching the white powder dusted across her shirt.

“Yeah, go get changed into something comfy. Set up the TV—we’re celebrating all night long. We’re gonna stay up until we blow out every single one of your candles,” she scolded lightly, her words bubbling with warmth and excitement. And in that moment, a broad smile spread across my face—because this was the Lilly I’d been longing for all along, the Lilly who made everything feel alive and worth fighting for.