Page 44 of The Fall

Her fingers found the spot – hot to the touch already. She slid her index and middle finger around it, tugging just a little with her knuckles. She enjoyed pain here too, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep from making noise if she indulged tonight. That would be too far.

Fingertips curled just inside. That part always felt the best. The first sparks of a fire that would roar to life before it caused unspeakable destruction. The anticipation of sore mornings and ruined mattresses.

Here, in this secret compartment in her mind, her fingertips could be anything. Kerr’s artificial hand. Kerr’s tongue. Anything else Kerr might surprise her with, as long as it was Kerr’s. Lusa reached farther toward the flame.

How did that feel? The tongue of someone who actually wanted you? The tongue of someone who knew your violence? Who embraced it? Who knelt to worship at its altar? Would they circle and tease? Prolong the ritual? Take their time to remain in her presence as long as possible?

Or her fingers? Those ceramic composite ones. She could have asked Pinga, but then she would have told her, in great detail, no less. Pinga’s arm was an older model prosthetic anyway.

Were Kerr’s fingers always warm? How would that feel? Like a lifeless object, or a treasured possession reaching to bless her most intimate places? The thought roused the darkness Lusa kept hidden, secure and locked away.

But in her mind, it was free to play. Would Kerr like it if she grabbed her hair? Beg while she fucked her mouth? What if Lusa stole the breath from her lungs? If Lusa kissed the filth from her lips? If Lusa swallowed her name as it fell? If her teeth broke the skin? If Lusa lost control. She wouldn’t be able to stop.

What would Kerr think then?

Or would she ask for more?

That tipped her over. A muted release, but she still tasted blood on her tongue. It could never happen. Never be real. Never be more than thoughts.

Let Not Light See My Black and Deep Desires

Kerr’s Opti woke her. Something was moving in her flat. Finding a darker shape in a dark room, her Opti adjusted for the low light conditions. There were no intruders, only Lusa.

But just in case. Kerr let her eyes linger for a few moments longer.

Movement. Deliberate, too. Not the spasms of a restless sleep.

Not quite believing what she saw, Kerr blinked. Was Lusa masturbating? In her bed? Kerr froze. If Lusa found out Kerr knew what she was doing, watching her, she would die. But she couldn’t not watch.

Your club, your rules. Lusa had said that, right? Pleasure yourself in my bed, I get to watch. Those are my rules. Kerr was pretty sure Lusa wouldn’t agree to that.

Still though. This was fucking hot. If Lusa found out she’d been watching, she would have to admit to what she was doing.

Kerr slipped ceramic fingers between her legs. The tips warmed and hummed. The vibration may have been programmed into her arm for sonic cleaning to keep the joints clear, but dammit, a girl had needs.

Checking for any sign that Lusa had heard the sonic cleaner, Kerr stared, unblinking until her eyes stung. Lusa may not have aural processors, but still. There was no sudden stop, only the silent rhythm of a hand beneath the sheets. Kerr relaxed.

Her shadow tensing, Kerr pressed harder, angling her fingers. God, this was so hot. What she wouldn’t give to know what Lusa was thinking. What images were parading through her mind? Were they vanilla? Or so depraved that she would never share them in a million years? Would she be shocked if she knew? Or delighted?

Most importantly, was she thinking of her? Kerr hoped she was. Kerr desperately wanted to be the face of her fantasy. The one who was touching her with the backs of her fingers. The one whose eyes lit up when she discovered a pleasurable spot. The one whose face hovered over her own. Whose breath tumbled over her throat. Whose hair hid her from view. Whose lips were coated in her.

Biting down hard on her lip, the iron tang of blood trickled across her tongue. She couldn’t find the will to care.

What would she taste like? That stupid kiss at the bar had been too quick. Her lips had been so full and soft, even if they hid a hunger. Hid it too well. Kerr cursed herself for not seeing it.

What if she’d said yes when Lusa asked if she was trying to hook up with her? She could be with her right now, but she’d blown her chance. She could have had all the answers to her lecherous questions.

A soft rustle of blankets. Lusa’s hips angled upward. Was she thinking of Kerr inside her? Which hand? How many fingers? Did she prefer it when she curled them into that spot just inside? Or a gentle stroke against it? Or maybe she wanted that feeling of fullness? The stretch of her body taking whatever she could get? Kerr loved that one most of all – slow, steady thrusts that made fingers feel like they were as long as winter.

Openly bleeding now, Kerr bit harder. The sonic cleaning cycle stopped and she’d need to wait another 15 minutes before it would boot up again. Finishing manually would have to suffice. Small circles. She could do that. Keeping quiet would be the hard part.

Lusa’s mouth fell open. God, she was exquisite. The scant space between them might as well be a terrible chasm. She shouldn’t be watching this. She should respect her privacy and turn around. She should shut her eyes and pretend this wasn’t happening. But she couldn’t. Kerr pressed harder. Too hard.

Forcing herself to close her eyes for a moment, Kerr needed to cool down before she screamed. Sensing danger, her aural processors betrayed her, adjusting to amplify the tiniest sound. She cursed herself for forgetting to turn them off for the night until the delectable torture began.

The heavy thud of Lusa’s heart slamming into her ribcage. The open-mouthed pants, carefully controlled to make as little noise as possible. The bunching of fisted fabric. The slide of her fingers along the parts of her Kerr desperately wanted to touch. And taste. She heard it all.

Were she less of a fuckup, Kerr could savour it. She could let the temptation wash over her, appreciate how desire could grow so vast that you would remember the release forever. But she wasn’t. Kerr was impatient, impulsive and she needed to finish now.