Page 18 of Where We Belong

how my heart and mind have transformed,

We sit in the living area of Kaed’s bungalow, just like we have most nights over the last year. The buzz of the barracks seeping in through the open window. The space is pretty much as he left it. It’s minimal and clean, like him. Necessities only. His family’s weapons adorn the walls. And there are a lot of them. It seems there’s more silver on the wall than stone. A few sleeping books and some parchments are neatly arranged on the sparse shelves. Maps of The Above hang over his desk, scattered with various globes. The chair, usually tucked into the desk, now holds Tobian draped lazily across it, rolling the tiny clay figurine he always carries between his fingers. I was glad to return to the palace tonight. As soon as we arrived, I bathed. For a long time. Trying to scrub away the scent of priestess arousal and trickery. Lili, Tobian, and Leander were just as disappointed as I by Aiden’s decision. Leander knows Wren’s family well, they grew up in the same slum town. And according to him, Wren is always three moves ahead of everyone. Soot darts across the room and climbs onto my lap, purring loudly as I scratch her chin. I move over to make room for Lili who perches herself on the arm of the chair.

“I haven’t slept properly since Kae was taken. Especially since we lost him again. And the Princess. It’s been hell.” She says through a red lipped yawn.

Leander bounces a small, blackened leather ball against the far wall. Each time it ricochets back, he uses puffs of steam from his fingers to send it flying again. An uncharacteristically cheeky grin spreading across his face tells me he’s been sleeping just fine. With a flick of my fingers, I send a small fiery dart at his cheek.

“You are slow.” His long, bronze braid swings as he ducks and summons the ball, hurling it towards me. I catch it in a swirling orb of blue fire before chucking it back. He juggles it between his hands, blowing on it frantically.

“You are cocky,” I chuckle, ignoring Lili’s eye roll. She should know by now that we cannot take anything seriously. Life is too short, even for an immortal.

“Speaking of,” Tobian grins, leaning back in the chair. The glint in his eye tells me he has a story. “You should’ve seen Leander last night at the tavern. Lili and I couldn’t stop watching. Everyone was all over him, as usual, but this time he decided to pull his therapist act on Ninkasi of all females. Made her open up to him and cry, blah blah blah, you know the rest.”

I raise an eyebrow, trying not to laugh and almost succeeding. “The barmaid? You’ve really upped your game, brother. That female is made of rock.”

Leander laughs softly, tossing the ball against the wall with another flick of steam. Lili bats my shoulder and fixes me with a disapproving look, her pitch-black eyes cutting straight through me.

“Saw her this morning just before the quake trying to sneak out of his bungalow,” Tobian says running a hand through his choppy blonde hair.

I shake my head, grinning. “She thought she’d just sneak out unnoticed. At a time like this? Did you assist her?”

“I had to,” he says, throwing up his hands in mock exasperation. “Theron was about to slice her head off. Told him she was a visitor, and I’d handle it. Walked her to the gates and let her know she owes me a life debt. I asked for free drinks for eternity. Naturally, she told me to fuck off.”

I snort just before a hiss of Leander’s scorching steam shoots onto my neck.

“Knock it off, both of you.” Lili tuts, turning the fireball in my hand to ash. Luckily for Leander as it was about to find itself in his crotch. “It’s just a fling…right?”

He now seems very interested in some imaginary fluff on the ball. Lili squeals, “Do you like her?”

“Of course he doesn’t. Do you?” I sit up, studying his body language. He’s swaying side to side. The room erupts in laughter, and pink creeps up behind the long brown beard he strokes nervously.

“Is that a braid in your beard? Did Ninkasi do that?” Tobian’s screeching laugh rings through the room. “Big old torturer like you?”

“Childish,” Leander grins, his eyes still fixed on the ball as we erupt into laughter again. Lili chews the side of her lip to keep from joining in. Leander has always been the quietest among us, probably why males and females flock to him wherever we go. They flock to all of us, of course, but with Leander, they seem to actually like him. His calm, gentle nature makes him a good listener, but I often wonder if they ever sense the violence that simmers beneath his skin. By the time we met as teens in the barracks, Leander had already tortured and killed hundreds of prisoners for his master’s at Obsidian Hold, before being summoned to the palace for his gift. I have seen more than my fair share of battles and kills, but torture? That’s a line I can’t cross. I don’t have the stomach for it. I decide to have mercy on him and change the subject.

“Did anyone see Vale before the quake earlier?”

Lili folds her arms across her chest. “Hmm. I saw him last night cleansing the basin yet again; he’s so anal about it these days, can’t say I blame him. He might have been in the mess hall at breakfast.”

“He was there,” Leander says, a note of relief in his voice as he resumes bouncing the ball against the wall. “I saw him with Theron. After I saw Eira with Nyk.” He nods towards me theatrically. The cheek.

“Don’t start on me, Leander. I will encourage Tobian to keep talking about your new wife again, if you like?”

Stretching, I scratch my freshly shaped beard, the thought reminding me of Kaed. Not even two months ago he was a hairy mess. And even though it was such a relief to see him alive. I’ll be sure to tease him about his scruffy beard when we meet again. Because we will. A breathy chuckle escapes me as I recall him insisting on learning to shave before any of us, wielding a blade crafted from smoke. Those first attempts were disastrous. The uneven patches of hair and singed eyebrows almost became a trademark. But in true Kaed fashion, he never gave up. Failure irks him more than anything. By the end, he could shave better than any barber in Sheyole.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” Lili’s voice breaks through my thoughts. She reaches down and strokes the back of my head. She’s always been able to comfort me. Like the sister I never had. I close my eyes, letting out a slow breath, dissolving into her touch.

“I was thinking about Kae. And Vale.”

“You’ve been obsessed with him lately.”

“Gah.” I grumble, dragging the sound out. I’ve mentioned my thoughts to them in passing, but I can never tie it together. “Something feels off, I just can’t put my finger on it. He’s never missed a beat, but since Kae was taken...and he’s been around Theron a lot lately.” My brain glitches as I try to put together the puzzle with pieces I can’t see the shape of. Or maybe I’m distracted by Soot licking the ash off my palm.

“A King’s advisor and a Lieutenant having a chat doesn’t sound suspicious to me.” Tobian says, idly spinning a miniature globe.

“Like I said the other day, keep an eye on them. If I’m wrong, I’m wrong.” Even speaking against the King’s advisors could be considered treason, and I won’t have my friends dragged into any mess. But today, when he sat down at the table…maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me. Soot hacks and vomits all over my hand, then scarpers. A chuckle escapes me as I imagine Kaed’s face if he knew there was cat vomit in his room.

“Can you picture him going toe-to-toe with Kaed?” Leander chuckles heartily, his voice following me into the bathing chamber. Normally, I’d laugh at the thought. But instead, I shrug, rinsing my rings under the warm water one by one, the unease in my mind growing into a thumping headache. The day is taking a toll on me. “He’s the most skilled alchemist the world has ever seen,” I say. “He would only need to subdue him with something.”