Page 167 of Split or Swallow

Tem turned away.

“Wait—” Leo grabbed her hand. “Would you do something for me?”

She looked back at him.

“What?”

His hand tightened in hers.

“Hold onto it.”

“Hold onto what?”

“Whatever it was that made you change your mind last night. Just…try to hold onto it. Please?”

They stared at each other, and in that moment Tem realized how much last night had truly meant to Leo—how deeply and desperately he wanted to be with her—how badly he hoped what little progress they’d made wasn’t ruined by her lingering connection with Caspen. Tem wanted to reassure him, but she didn’t want to lie. So she simply nodded instead.

“I’ll try.”

Leo nodded too. Then he dropped her hand, turned, and disappeared down the street.

Tem stood as if in a trance. It had been one of the most formative nights of her life. Not only was her relationship with Caspen hanging in the balance, but sudden⁠l⁠y, Leo had stepped up in a way she’d never thought possible. I know what it is to have an occupied heart, Leo had said. It was horrible, is what it was. Tem did not want to feel this way for two people—did not want to split herself in two.

Her mother appeared on the garden path.

“My dear,” she said. “How are you?”

What a question.

There was no way to answer it. In response, Tem merely shrugged. They returned to the kitchen together, and her mother held up the half empty liquor bottle.

“Really, Tem?”

“It wasn’t just me,” Tem said quickly.

“That infernal boy,” her mother muttered, and Tem knew she would assume it had been Gabriel. There was no point in correcting her.

Tem tried to busy herself with farm work but the chickens provided no distraction whatsoever. She could think only of the way Leo’s hands had felt on her body—of how he’d been able to ignite something in her that she once thought only Caspen could ignite. Tem had no choice but to comprehend the most fundamental thing that now rang true: her heart was in two places, and things would not be easy for her.

Leo.

And Caspen.

She loved them both.

It shouldn’t have come as a shock to her—too many things had brought her gradually to this conclusion to make it any sort of a surprise. Still, she marveled at how she could feel such a draw to them both: how she could want two people in the same way: a way that was guttural and raw and real.

She was engaged to Caspen. Or nearly so. And one day—depending on factors well outside her control—she might be engaged to Leo too. Tem could imagine it now: walking down the aisle in a white dress, pledging herself to the human prince for the rest of their lives. It wouldn’t be difficult. It was merely an extension of everything she’d felt for him up until this point: a way to solidify their connection into something real—something tangible.

And yet.

Caspen was in her veins. He was in her blood, in her mind, in her soul. He was the breath in her lungs; he was her tether to life. Caspen was everything.

So why did he make her feel so empty?

Tem performed her morning chores dutifully before taking the usual basket of eggs to the bakery. By the time she got there, she was dreading what came next.

There was Vera, dressed in pink.