Page 220 of Between Two Kings

It was only once he said it that Tem realized it was true. She’d been living with these feelings for so long that she’d almost forgotten what it was like to be without them. She had gotten used to feeling like her heart was in two places. The agony was familiar to her now.

“Do you know what I felt when I took this from you?” Apollo asked quietly.

Tem shook her head.

“Pain. Not love, Temperance. But pain. You are hurting yourself by loving them both. You must choose.”

Caspen’s words came back to her: The time will come when you will have to choose.

But Tem didn’t want to choose. She couldn’t choose. She hadn’t been able to then, and she was no more able to now. She was at a crossroads, as she always had been, and there was nobody coming to save her. It was untenable. But it was her reality.

“I can’t choose,” she whispered.

To her surprise, Apollo’s eyes softened. “I understand it cannot be not easy for you.”

That was the understatement of the century. Nothing about this was easy. It never had been.

“But your current state is unsustainable,” he continued, his voice gentle in the dark. “I myself could barely stand it for as long as I did. I do not know how you have been surviving it.”

Tem knew. She was two things: basilisk and human. That was how she was surviving it. Each side of her loved someone else. It was unsustainable for Apollo; it was reality for her.

“Basilisks are not meant to love more than one person,” he murmured. “We share our bodies but not our hearts.”

Tem had heard it before. She knew what was happening to her was wrong, that she had crossed a line long ago. But that didn’t mean she could help it. And it didn’t mean she could change it.

“It is unnatural, this thing within you. I fear it will be your undoing.”

Caspen had once called her his undoing. How ironic that Leo would be hers.

“It is breaking your mind, Temperance.”

It wasn’t her mind that Tem was worried about. It was taking a toll on her heart now, and if things continued as they had been, there was no telling how bad it might get.

“I don’t know what to do,” Tem whispered.

“I swore I would protect you,” Apollo said quietly. “But I cannot protect you from yourself.”

Tem nodded because she couldn’t seem to speak anymore. She understood exactly what he was telling her. If everything fell apart—if her love for Leo destroyed her relationship with Caspen—it would be entirely her fault. Nobody, not even Apollo, could prevent that from happening, as much as he might want to.

Tem had always known the facts; it was why she’d resisted Leo for so long. But there was no elegant solution here. If she didn’t sleep with him, he would die. And if she did, Caspen would kill her. How was that an acceptable outcome? Tem had fallen for both of them, and now their fates were intertwined because of it.

Apollo leaned in, and for a split second, Tem thought he might kiss her. Instead he brushed his lips gently along her cheek before whispering in her ear: “I cannot bear to watch you die.”

Despite his heat, Tem felt a chill. She’d never considered how this would make Apollo feel. The pain would be horrific for him. He would feel not only grief but guilt. His role in this was unquestionable now. The last thing she wanted was for Apollo to watch her die, much less at the hands of his brother. The loss would wound them both. Apollo had once told her that she could not break them. But Tem had a feeling she could.

She had just opened her mouth to speak when a voice cut between them: “Tem?”

It was Caspen.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

For a moment, no one spoke. It felt like a mirror of when Caspen had found them in the grotto. That night had ended in orgasm. Somehow Tem doubted this one would too.

“Tem,” Caspen said again. The word was slurred. That’s when Tem noticed the goblets in his hands. He’d already started drinking.

“Brother,” Apollo said. “Steady.”

Tem raised her eyebrows at the warning. She had never heard Apollo chastise Caspen before. Caspen’s narrowed. “Do not command me.”