Page 5 of The Way We Swing Back

He studied me like he didn’t believe me for a minute, his nose so scrunched up I could barely make it out.

Then the movie rolled, and I let it blur past me, more aware of the inches between Tanner and me than anything on the screen.

Halfway through the movie, Mrs. Quinn made an appearance with another bowl of popcorn, the smell of fresh butter filling the basement. She put the bowl in front of Tanner, but when her hand lingered on Tanner’s shoulder, I swore she was looking at me, studying my face as I tried to pay attention to the movie.

After she left, my body seemed to be in a fight with itself; my right leg hung off the couch, ready to spring away, and my left nestled under the blanket, anchoring me down. But then Gavin got out of his chair and joined us on the couch without a word. He scooted under the blanket, cuddling up next to Tanner, who engulfed him in his arms.

Tanner didn’t bat an eye as he stayed glued to the TV. No second thought, just a bond built up for years.

The only sounds I could hear were Tanner breathing steadily, Gavin chomping on popcorn like he’d never tasted such a delicacy, and Zach snorting at the movie. I hadn’t caught a single scene from the movie.

Gavin tossed his bowl on the ground, and he pushed back into Tanner, disappearing into his brother’s arms like it was the most ordinary thing in the world. For him, I guess it was.

I’d circled the edge of it. They wanted me here.

Yet people left. Families changed. And things would change tomorrow, no matter what I did, and I wasn’t sure they’d still want me once Tanner was gone.

Everyone was at the Quinns’ the next morning. Well, every one of the Quinns, plus me and Gavin’s friend, Jake Washington.

We were in the midst of loading up the Durango with Tanner’s belongings; the midsummer heat poured down on us, causing my shirt to stick more than it had an hour ago.

“Gavin, watch your step,” I said. We were carrying opposite ends of a bin of school supplies toward the car, the lid broken at the edges from overuse.

“I’m fine,” he said right as his left foot gave out underneath him, nearly causing us both to fall. Gavin caught his footing, though, as I felt the weight of the bin collapse into my arms and barely managed to hold on.

“You freaking noodle,” I said, smiling at him as we got to the car while Gavin laughed at himself. He was decked out in nothing but Missouri gear—a yellow and black hat, a yellow baseball shirt, and a pair of yellow Missouri shorts. Gavin the banana, always supporting his family.

“Watch it, Easton,” Mrs. Quinn said, rolling her eyes at the two of us as she got into Mr. Quinn’s truck, Zach sitting in the back seat.

“That’s everything you had in your room,” I said as I closed the trunk of the car. Tanner stood next to the driver’s seat, ready to go.

“Thanks, dude,” Tanner said, walking over to me.

My mouth dried out as he got near. How was I supposed to say goodbye to him? I’d known him a year, but it felt like it’d been five with everything that’d happened since I’d moved in with my grandparents.

Tanner falling in love with me. Me… finding a new best friend. Both of us fighting and then getting back together… as friends. Just in time to lose in the state finals, with me shattering Tanner’s biggest goal with a single swing.

I’d failed the relationship with Tanner, too, not being able to be the person he’d wanted me to be, instead being a scared little boy unable to admit to anyone who I really was.

I sucked the side of my right cheek into my mouth, biting the skin as I looked at Tanner. Hug? Fist bump? I had no idea.

“Come visit?”

“You’re twenty minutes away. You’d better be visiting us,” I said.

“Soon,” he said, pulling me into a hug, not giving me a choice. I felt him squeeze that Tanner squeeze, his arms wrapped around my back as if he’d never let go.

But he did. I looked at him as he broke away with words on my lips, things I wanted to say, things I’d thought over and over again for a year now—things I wasn’t allowed to say.

Tanner gave me a small frown, his face scrunching. He placed his hand on my bicep. “Take care of yourself, okay?” He paused. “And keep an eye on Gav while I’m gone. He listens to you better than anybody.”

“Always,” I said as he got into the car with Gavin, who waved as they drove away. I stared at Tanner’s license plate until my vision gave out.

I walked toward the porch, where Jake sat by himself. I wasn’t sure I’d ever been alone with Jake before; he was Gavin’s friend, not mine, but with the family leaving, it was just the two of us left, awkwardly sizing each other up.

Jake stood, and it was tough to think of him and Gavin as the same age. He was a head taller than Gavin, the black hair of his newly growing mustache matching the top of his head.

“Ready, dude?” I asked.