Page 120 of Embers of Ruin

Silence answers before he speaks my name, and it’s enough to undo me. “Lyra.”

Just my name. No command. I don't know why that unsettles me more than if he'd demanded entry. It tugs at my heart more than I want to admit.

With an exaggerated sigh, I yank the door open. “What do you want?”

“I am unraveling, Lyra.” The sincerity in his eyes catches me off guard, and mine soften despite myself.

“Yes,” I say. “I share that same sentiment. I’m falling apart, and I don’t know what to do with it.”

“You are right. It is not fair to you. But there are things I need you to understand. At the same time, there are things I cannot tell you yet.”

“The truth always comes at your convenience, Thorin. Always on your time.”

“Yes, it does. I am a king, Lyra. That is how this works.”

The certainty in his voice irritates me all over again.

“I came because there is one truth I can give you.” His gaze doesn't leave mine. “And I should have told you sooner.”

Something inside me tightens, and I wonder what it is he’ll tell me. I hope it isn’t something that will completely destroy me. I can’t take another blow today. First I realize why he keeps me here, now there’s another truth to uncover. There’s always something, and goddess divine, I’m exhausted.

I hear heavy boots approaching, and know who that stride belongs to before I see his stern face and his large, muscular build. Onyx is coming for me. What a fantastic situation.

Onyx rushes through the door, his gaze darting from Thorin to me. “Thorin, don’t.”

The words come fast, edged with something I've never heard from him before. Fear. His composure has finally cracked.

“Now is not the time.”

I whip my head toward him so fast my neck protests.

“That's not your decision to make.” My voice comes out sharper than I intend. “Leave, Onyx. Leave my chambers. Now!”

“Lyra—”

“Onyx, please.” Thorin runs a frustrated hand through his hair, and his voice sounds… tired. He looks like a king carrying the burden of many, and that burden is finally catching up to him.

Part of me wants to be sympathetic. But I can’t trust him. And if he’s not willing to give me the truth… then I have nothing to say to him.

“I never intended for you to be a weapon, Lyra. I only wanted you to know how to protect yourself. To control your power and strengthen your body and mind. There are…” He sighs deeply, running a hand down his face as if searching for the right words.

“There are people out there who would see you harmed. I know what you are, Lyra. I’ve always known, and when Onyx brought you here and you brought life back to a garden that has been dead for centuries, I knew the prophecy was right.”

I tilt my head, scrunching my nose. “You tell me I need control, but you won’t tell me what happens if I don’t have it. You tell me villages are disappearing, but you won’t tell me what is taking them. You tell me I am not a weapon, then teach me how to strike. Now you tell me I am the cure to your family’s curse? How do you know this?”

Thorin’s expression hardens with each word, but I can’t stop now. I don’t want to stop.

“You want me to trust you with my power, but you won’t trust me with the truth.”

His shadows coil at his feet, and I feel how badly they want to come to me. I feel it. They’re drawn to me like I’m drawn to him.

“You think trust is built with answers.”

“I think trust dies without them, Thorin.”

“You are not ready for every answer.”

I laugh, but it scrapes on the way out. “Then give me one. One real answer, Thorin.”