Page 99 of Embers of Ruin

“Not particularly.”

“That is, unfortunately, too bad for you today, Lyra.”

“Why are you teaching me this?” I ask. I’m confused—I don’t understand why I would ever need to use my magic as a weapon.

“What am I defending myself from? You keep telling me I’ll need control and discipline and now apparently the ability to attack things with light, but you never tell me why. Most kidnappers eventually explain themselves. It’s poor manners not to.”

“You think often of manners for someone who’s threatened nearly every person in this yard.”

“You weren’t supposed to know about that!” I grit out. “That was supposed to stay IN. MY. HEAD.”

“Your concern is noted.”

“Thorin, my concern is exhausted.”

That slips out more honestly than I intend. Thorin's amusement fades, and the man beneath the arrogance studies me for a moment too long. I hate when he looks past the sarcasm. Past the anger. Straight at the exhausted woman who just wants a quiet life.

“Then sit, or take your leave,” he says with a shrug.

“No.” I catch the cadence before it turns into the kind of argument that ends with him amused and me outmaneuvered. “You don't get to use concern as a leash. If I’m tired, I’m tired. That doesn't mean I’m fragile, and it doesn’t mean I want you making decisions for me. I can do that for myself, not that you’ve let me.”

I note the approval in his gaze and it irritates me so badly that I want to hit him in the rib with my practice blade.

“I did not say you were fragile.”

“No, but you like implying it when it suits you. You don’t think I caught that, Thorin?”

“I think you’re reckless. Especially with your tongue.”

My anger swells, and I find myself biting back before I can stop myself. “And I think you’re the most secretive fucking man on the continent. And you’re the king!” I throw my hands up in exasperation.

“Yes, I know exactly how you feel about my… secrecy.”

“No one told you to go digging around in my head.”

“You did not have to let me in… but you did.” The way he looks at me tells me he’s talking about far more than my thoughts.

“Well, I revoke it. Never come near my thoughts—or me—again.”

I don’t have to explain myself. The look in his eyes tells me he understood exactly what I meant.

Onyx smiles at the edge of my vision, and for reasons I refuse to examine, the sight steadies me. Even when he refuses to answer questions, even when guilt follows him like a shadow that isn’t Thorin's, he feels familiar in this place.

Thorin notices where my attention went and I catch his expression darken. He turns away, which feels like a victory and a loss together.

“You will form a shield.”

His voice is no longer gentle, the one reserved for quiet moments when we’re alone. It’s clipped. Commanding.

The Shadow King is back.

“With my magic?”

“Yes, and you will block my attack with your sword.”

“And if I don’t know how to do both?”

His eyes narrow on mine. “Then you will learn.”