Page 11 of D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

Our waiter appeared and placed our meals in front of us. The aromas wafting up from my plate of chicken kebab, basmati rice, potatoes, and spinach pie made my stomach rumble loudly. Digging in, I glanced up at D’Vaughn, who was hefting a massive gyro into her hands while doing a cute little shimmy in her seat. We ate in relative silence for a while before I picked the conversation back up.

“So, is that philosophy shared amongst your family as well?”

Inhaling sharply just as she was chewing on a few fries, D’Vaughn began to choke. Jumping out of my seat, I rounded the table and patted her on the back. She dropped the remains of her sandwich onto her plate and reached for the glass of tamarind juice in front of her. After taking a fortifying sip, she waved me off as she continued to clear her throat a few times.

“Goodness gracious,” she finally murmured lowly. “I’m always choking around you. That was incredibly embarrassing.”

Patting my chest, I shook my head. “Try terrifying. You just reminded me that I need to renew my first aid certification.”

Cutting her eyes at me, she pursed her lips. “You’re welcome,” she remarked, her tone dry.

“I take it your family is a touchy subject...”

She shook her head. “The opposite, actually. I love them with all of my heart. My mama raised us by herself on a high school education and yet, somehow, my siblings and I never wanted for anything.” D’Vaughn paused to sip her drink before continuing. “You know what? That’s a lie. I definitely wanted a few things that she told me I couldn’t have, but we had the necessities.”

Her tone had taken on a dark, affronted register that had my curiosity piqued. “What’s one thing you wanted but didn’t get.”

“Barbie Dream House from page one-eighty-six of the Big Book of Toys,” she gritted instantly through clenched teeth. “It was three feet tall with a working elevator and doorbell.” Her eyes were narrowed and one hand was curled into a fist on the table near her plate.

Laughing, I shook my head. She was cute as hell. “Why do you still sound angry about that?”

Her unfocused eyes found my face, and she blinked a few times, clearing the dark clouds from her eyes. The fingers on her hand relaxed and she dropped her hand into her lap. Ducking her head, she gave a sheepish smile that brought another bout of laughter out of me.

“There may be some residual...disappointment lingering around.”

That was obvious. “How long ago was this?”

“Christmas of ’97,” she sniffed, turning her head toward the trellis, which had vines woven through the slats and was the perfect backdrop for selfies and boomerangs.

Trying to keep from saying anything, I bit my lip and nodded. It was a cute story and I wasn’t even going to call her out on how smoothly she’d managed to navigate the conversation away from answering my question. Picking up my fork, I prepared to finish off my food.

“I’m not out to my family.”

D’Vaughn’s blurted confession made a record scratch loud and obnoxious in my head and brought my startled gaze back to hers. Her eyes roved my face, taking in my widened eyes and gaped mouth, and she covered her face with her hands.

“Don’t judge me!”

Immediately, I snapped my mouth shut and dropped my fork back onto my plate. Of the many thoughts that came rushing to the forefront of my mind, that hadn’t been one of them at all. There were several variations of “well, there went the show” but not one instance of judgment.

“I would never judge you for something like that,” I assured her, my tone firm. “I don’t know your family. That might be the safest thing for you.”

Eyes closed, D’Vaughn lowered her hands from her face and took a deep inhale before cracking her lids. The shame in those chocolate-brown depths broke my heart.

“It’s not about safety, I’ve just been terrified.”

Reaching across the table, I grabbed one of her hands, lacing our fingers together. Her skin was soft, palm warm against my mine. “And that’s okay. Whatever your reasons, your feelings are valid. You said that you were born and raised in the church, right? That’s more than enough of an explanation for why you aren’t out.”

She tilted her head back, but when I saw a single tear slip from the corner of her eye, my throat tightened. I pulled a few napkins from the dispenser in the center of the table and pressed them into her free hand. As she dabbed at the trail the tear had left, she took a shuddering breath. Although I hadn’t had to grow up with the fear of keeping my sexuality from my family, I understood how difficult and draining it could be to have to hide a part of yourself from the ones you loved.

After a few moments, D’Vaughn squeezed my hand, pulled hers free, and lowered her chin until we were once again facing each other.

“Um...I’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, but I’m using the show to come out.”

I nodded. Yeah, I’d gathered that as soon as she’d made her admission. Despite how that not-so-little tidbit was sure to tank our place in this pseudo-competition, I actually thought it was rather genius. If you felt like you were being pulled to come out, why not do it on a reality show? I could already hear Rhea in my head gushing about how the ratings would go through the roof and the sponsorships would come flooding in. That was the content-creator in her that thought in terms of profit.

“I think it’s incredibly admirable of you to do it that way.” She was freeing herself, but in doing so, was also putting herself in a position to possibly lose the people that meant the most to her. On top of that, she was choosing to be filmed, which guaranteed that it would be broadcasted into millions of homes. Rhea’s imaginary voice in my head had been correct about the ratings. Doing it this way meant that D’Vaughn was going to help so many queer people make a decision that may have been difficult for them. So often we needed to witness someone conquer a beast before we realized that we too held the power to best it.

D’Vaughn bit her lip and cast a glance toward the table. She brought a hand to her neck and shook her head lightly.