Page 27 of D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

“I’m right here with you,” she repeated on a whisper that sounded significantly closer than before.

I started to crack my eyelids open, but then her lips touched mine in a gentle, affirming kiss, and naturally they fell closed again as I succumbed to her. This was different than any kiss we’d shared before. It wasn’t the exploratory “practice” kiss, or like any of the dozens of chaste kisses we’d exchanged in front of her family. The way her mouth moved against mine was an extension of her keeping my feet on solid ground. It centered me in a way I’d never experienced through another human being before. I sighed into her and felt the weight of my anxiety lessen against my chest, allowing me to finally breathe easy. Greedily—gratefully—I sucked in a breath through my nose and was inundated with the cologne she wore.

Suddenly my brain was clouded with her image and mine tangled in different scenarios that were incredibly inappropriate for the parking lot of a church. Just as I felt myself leaning toward her, Kris dialed the kiss back and pulled away from me.

“Shit,” she murmured, touching her forehead to mine.

My eyes were still closed and I hummed contentedly, a soft smile coming to my face.

“You can’t curse at a church, Kris.”

Chuckling, Kris pressed a quick kiss to my forehead, and then stepped back, putting a foot of space between us.

“Technically, we aren’t at church yet, so I think it’ll be alright. Vamos, preciosa. Let’s head inside. We don’t want to start off on the wrong foot by being late.”

I sighed and then nodded because she was absolutely right. My mama did not play when it came to being in the Lord’s house at the appointed hour. Giving myself a little shake, I opened my eyes to find Kris watching me intently. There was a little smirk on her face, but her brown eyes were filled with concern. She, more than anyone, understood how big of a deal today was. When she auditioned for Instant I Do, I’m sure the last thing she imagined she’d be doing was acting as a plus-one to a surprise coming-out party, but she’d picked up the mantle without complaint, even dressing for the occasion.

And she looked good too.

Kris wore a slim-fit charcoal-gray suit that fit her slender, toned body as if it had been tailor-made for her. The peach-colored shirt and pocket square matched my dress, which I’d paired with dark gray platform pumps and silver jewelry, and I had to admit that we looked good together. Matching had been my suggestion and Kris had readily agreed to it. It wasn’t something I’d gone for in previous relationships, but it seemed exactly the type of over-the-top thing that people who would get married weeks after meeting would do. It had been a pleasant surprise when Kris said she didn’t have a problem with it. When I’d picked her up that morning, Rhea had agreed and insisted on taking a picture of us before we left. Of course she was on strict instructions not to post it to Kris’s social media accounts, and Kris informed me that Rhea was her one person that knew about the show. That had given me a small measure of comfort; although I had to admit that I was curious how Kris’s followers would react to seeing us together.

After our first meeting, I’d gone home to do my own research on the online persona she said had taken her by surprise and now paid her well enough to replace her day job if she ever decided to quit. It hadn’t taken me long to deduce that those quarter million followers were not only real, but heavily engaged with Kris’s content. Each of her posts received thousands of likes and hundreds of comments, many of which trended toward telling Kris how fine she was. As if she didn’t know.

“Shall we?”

Kris held out her hand, and after taking a deep, fortifying breath, I took it. She gave me a gentle squeeze and led us to the door of the building. We’d parked in the back of the lot—not that it made any difference. Greater Rock of Abundant Salvation Missionary Baptist Tabernacle of the Living Word was a small, family church with a parking lot to match. It didn’t matter where you parked in the tiny, square lot—everyone could see you. Because of that, I had no doubt that at least six members of the congregation had witnessed Kris giving me mouth-to-mouth a few minutes earlier. It would be a miracle if my mama didn’t already know I was outside kissing a girl.

Oh God.

The upside was that I was far too busy worrying about what would happen once we stepped foot inside of the building to be worried about our whole exchange being filmed by Felix. I’d noticed the van when I’d pulled into the lot, but it was the last thing on my mind. The beating in my chest sped up and I could feel the anxiety creeping in on me again. Was I really going to do this? Was I about to lay myself bare for the entire congregation to see and judge me? Was I going to give my mama—my family—an opportunity to turn their backs on me?

It was a miracle that I’d managed to escape the actual moment being filmed. Somehow Kevin had managed to get it approved for the cameras to stay out of the church, sticking instead to the parking lot. The caveat was that I absolutely had to let Felix inside once we headed to Mama’s house after church, but I could handle that. We had just stepped under the awning and were almost to the door when Kris halted midstep and turned to face me. I saw the curious expressions of the greeters on the other side of the glass doors before my face was once again in her hands as she peered at me, that concern shining brightly and furrowing her usually smooth brow.

“Hey,” she murmured, “I got you. We’re gonna do this together. Take a deep breath. Breathe with me.”

I nodded but couldn’t speak, glad that she didn’t say it was going to be okay, since I knew for a fact that it wouldn’t. There was no way my Bible-thumping, prayer-warrior, and church-mother-in-training mama would accept that her oldest daughter was a lesbian. Without a doubt this was about to be the last time I’d likely see my family on a good note and fissures were slowly shooting throughout my being, ready to split and separate at the first sign of disgust in their eyes.

“D’Vaughn! Stop it.” Kris’s firm voice brought me back from the brink and I blinked repeatedly to keep the tears at bay. “Don’t give up, preciosa. The fight hasn’t even started.”

“I don’t wanna fight,” I husked. My voice was raw, preemptively stripped bare. “I just wanna live, and I want them to love me regardless of who I love. Is that too much to ask?”

Kris shook her head, rubbing her thumbs over my cheeks and under my eyes, searching for saline trails that I’d somehow managed to hold back. “Not at all.”

“Then why does it feel like I’m begging for the world to be handed to me on a silver platter?” The cracks began in my voice as my words dodged lumps of emotion in my throat on their way out of my mouth.

Leaning forward, Kris touched her forehead to mine. “Even if you were asking for the world, you’d deserve every inch of it, and nothing that anyone inside of this building has to say can change that.”

My eyes fluttered closed again as I let her words wash over me.

“Lean on me if you have to,” she offered. “I’m here to support you, and if you feel like you’re crumbling, let me shore you up, aight? Take what you need from me; accept my strength in addition to your own.”

Releasing a shuddering breath, I shook my head. “That’s too much, Kris. You barely know me, plus you didn’t sign up for this.”

“D’Vaughn.”

Flipping open, my eyes shot to hers, startled by the admonishment in her now-gritty tone.

“I’m going to give you a pass because you don’t know me well enough yet, but I signed up to be your fiancée. That’s not just about spending bands and fucking.” My brows shot toward the sky because what?! Who said anything about sex? No one, but now I was definitely thinking about it. “Being a fiancée means standing by your side through whatever. I signed up for that.”