Page 30 of D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

Oh, yeah. Kris was amazing. Ordinarily I’d be embarrassed, but even that is an emotion I don’t have room for right now. It helps that she isn’t treating me like she saw me break down into a snotty, crying mess in the middle of a church ’cause my mama hurt my feelings.

Um. I’m sorry that I don’t have a concrete answer to that. I don’t really know what I’m going to do now. I mean, we’re heading to my mama’s house for Sunday dinner, but I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I just want to get past today so that I can move on with the show.

Is there any bright side to her already knowing? Hmm. I guess it will make her more likely to believe that we’re getting married.

That’s all I can see right now.

Chapter Five

Kris

Sunday Dinner

D’Vaughn had warned me. I’d had an inclination, but I hadn’t known that it would be as...intense as it had been. When she broke down crying, I felt the most helpless I’d ever felt in my entire twenty-eight years, including when I’d watched Ray fall from a tree after he decided to rescue the family cat from the top limb without waiting for Papi. The way her mother had refused to look at her caused an instant cauldron of rage to bubble up inside of me. It was the subtlest type of rejection that could sometimes burn more than the overt stuff, evident in the way it had ripped D’Vaughn in half. That first sob that burst from her lips seemed to be the thing that snapped the older woman out of whatever hateful trance she had been in. She’d rushed down the aisle, trying to squeeze past me to get to D’Vaughn, but I was bent over tending to the daughter she’d hurt, and had no intention of moving so she could inflict more pain.

Only after she choked out, “Please,” and I swung my glare up at her to be met by remorseful eyes did I release my hold on D’Vaughn. Standing up, I allowed her to squeeze past me and engulf D’Vaughn into her arms, the bouncing brim of her hat evidence that she was speaking rapidly. I watched intently, waiting to see if D’Vaughn stiffened or tried to pull away, ready to bogart my way in and get her out of here.

The main singer came down from the stage and headed straight for D’Vaughn. She eased into the row from the center aisle and placed her hand on D’Vaughn’s back as she sang. Things moved pretty quickly after that. The musicians continued to play as the three other singers harmonized, but the words faded away as people all over the building began to cry out and pray aloud. The reverend took to the podium and sang a song about surrendering your heart to Christ before announcing that there was no need for him to preach when God had already had his way that morning.

It was another half hour before D’Vaughn resurfaced from underneath her mother. The two of them had gone through a box of tissues; D’Vaughn’s eyes were puffy and rimmed red. It would have been fine if they were clear but that wasn’t the case. They were clouded with apprehension and anger, which concerned me even as she tried to smile through it. When the service came to an end, she’d avoided meeting my eyes, worrying her lip as she led me out of the building and back to her car. It wasn’t hard to deduce that she was embarrassed, but she didn’t need to be. Even if she hadn’t warned me that she would cry, this was a huge moment for her and would have been emotional for even the most stonehearted individual. She’d handled it admirably, especially considering the way her mother first reacted when she noticed us holding hands.

Her mother and the singer, who she informed me was her sister, had a few things to do before they could leave, and D’Vaughn had murmured that she wanted to leave without fanfare in the parking lot. After promising her mother that we’d be going to her house for dinner, D’Vaughn didn’t say a word to me as we crossed the tiny lot, but I couldn’t let her get in the car without doing something. Walking to her side instead of my own, I wrapped my arms around her, hugging her from behind as she reached for the handle on the door. Her body trembled as she took a shuddering breath, but I held my tongue, hugging her silently, not even sure if she wanted to speak.

“Don’t make me cry again,” she whispered hoarsely.

“I’m not trying to,” I murmured into her hair, tightening my grip on her because it sounded like she needed it. “I just want you to know that I see you and I’m proud of you. It might not mean much since we just met a few days ago, but you did a brave thing and no matter the outcome, you are worthy.”

She hiccupped or sobbed or something. Whatever it was, it made me spin her in my arms and frame her face with my hands. Her eyes were closed but tears slipped silently from the corners. I swiped at them without hesitation.

“Can I kiss you?”

She needed something; I just wasn’t sure what it was. There was no way for me to know if my words were helping, but a kiss was tangible. At the very least I could provide a distraction from whatever waged war behind her eyes. When she nodded, I leaned in to press a quick kiss to each of her cheeks before sliding my lips over hers in a few chaste pecks. Leaning back, I watched her take a deep breath and blow it out before she opened her eyes.

“Let’s go.”

We climbed in the car, and I waited for her to pull out of the lot before taking her hand in mine. I didn’t ask any questions when she drove to a park instead of heading straight to her mother’s house. We sat in the car, neither making a move to push open the door and get out. Although my coming out was significantly less intense than D’Vaughn’s had been, I had no problem understanding that she had a lot to process. I didn’t say a word, just gently squeezed her hand and linked our fingers, trying to give her strength through our connection as unobtrusively as possible. After about fifteen minutes, she shifted the car in gear and drove off. It was a short drive to what I presumed was her mother’s house, and soon she was pulling into a driveway behind a compact SUV.

The doors automatically unlocked as soon as she shifted into Park, and right after that, the back door on the driver’s side opened and a woman climbed inside. Before I had a chance to become alarmed, D’Vaughn introduced the woman as her best friend, Cinta. Cinta reached forward and wrapped her arms around D’Vaughn from the back seat.

“I’m so proud of you, my boo!”

D’Vaughn’s eyes slid closed and she reached up to grab Cinta’s arms.

“She knew, Cin. She knew this whole time.” D’Vaughn’s whisper was low and ragged. The tortured sound broke my heart.

“That’s great, right?” Cinta asked as she shot a brief glance my way. “I mean, if she knew and never acted differently, that means she doesn’t care, right?”

A frown had taken over my face before I could even process it. “Hell naw! That’s not what that means at all! That’s harmful as fuck.”

The confusion was evident in Cinta’s furrowed brow and the way she tilted her head to one side as she thought. I side-eyed her, not fathoming how she could be confused when it was as clear as glass.

“What’s worse?” she finally asked. “Her assuming that you were gay and never saying anything, or her knowing for sure that you’re gay and hating you for it?”

D’Vaughn shook her head emphatically. “That’s not it, Cinta. I feel like they’re equally bad. Hating me because of who I love, or who I have the capacity to love, or who I’m attracted to is horrible, but knowing that I’m gay, or even assuming it to be so, and never saying anything? Allowing me to struggle for years—hell, decades—noticing that I never bring any love interest around the family, and how different that is from what everyone else is doing, and never saying a word to me? That’s not innocent. That’s not innocuous. Not to me.”

D’Vaughn’s friend shook her head. “No, I’m not saying it’s okay, I’m just wondering if it’s worth it to be angry about that when there is no malicious intent behind that one. Could it be that she saw how hard a time you were having and wanted to wait for you to bring it up so as not to embarrass you?”