Page 56 of D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

Grabbing my hands in her own, she tugged until I lifted my head and looked at her. I really didn’t want to look at her. I was on the cusp of having a moment, and I wanted to sit in that and be emotional for a while.

“What is it?”

“Well, for starters, do you want to be picked?”

Shrugging, I scrunched my nose. “I don’t know. Maybe?”

“That’s not a good answer,” she deadpanned. “Try again. And be honest this time. Thanks.”

I sighed. “Fine. Well...yes, I think. It would be nice to be chosen for once.”

Her face fell as she caught my meaning.

“Aww, my baby!” She pulled me into her bosom, hugging me tightly. “You deserve all of the love in the world, you know that, right? You always have.”

“I know. I also know that I wasn’t ready to receive it back then.”

Cinta leaned back, her eyes full of interest as she stared at me, an indicator for me to keep going.

“As fake as this whole thing is, the past few weeks have really made me open my eyes to some things. The way my relationships failed had less to do with me being closeted and everything to do with who I am—who I was—as a person. I’ve spent so much time over the years decrying the women who didn’t have my back and instead turned their backs on me, when the truth is that I wasn’t capable of being a good partner because I was too focused on hiding who I was. Hell, I couldn’t even treat myself the way I deserved with how much time I spent looking over my shoulder.”

“Shit,” she breathed. “Well. Okay then. Damn.”

Giggling, I nodded. “Yeah. The realization hit me like that also.”

“What brought that about?”

Thinking back on the trip to the Starlight Palace, I shook my head. “Just a stupid misunderstanding that could’ve gotten blown way out of proportion if Kris hadn’t nipped it in the bud.”

“Ah. Speaking of Kris, why don’t you tell me more about this mound of humiliation you’re suffering under?”

My mouth fell open as I gasped. “Uh-uhn!” I yelled. “Why would you segue like that?!”

She jerked her neck back at my loud tone. “Ma’am, calm down. You are the one who said you would be even more humiliated if Kris didn’t pick you, which implies that there is already some humiliation lurking around. You connected the two, so I’m just following your example.”

Nibbling on my bottom lip, I dropped my eyes to the coffee table. Even though Cinta knew just about all of my secrets—dirty and clean—I hadn’t meant to reveal so much with that slip of the tongue. It was embarrassing enough without her knowing the details.

“I’d rather not say.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Really? Well, can I guess?”

“Absolutely not!” I practically shouted, sitting up straight with both hands held out toward her. Knowing Cinta, she probably already knew and had just been waiting for me to say something. I’d rather we just pretended not to know that the other person knows we know they know and keep on trucking.

Surprisingly, Cinta shrugged. “No biggie. Now what’s this nonsense about not dating again?”

I released several slow blinks, staring at her blankly. Was she really going to move on as if I hadn’t just avoided answering a question? Is that how things were going to go?

Her brows were raised as she gave me an expectant look, but if she wasn’t going to give me the correct response, then I sure as hell wasn’t going to just move on. After a full minute of us staring at each other in silence, she cut her eyes to the side, cringing slightly as she twisted on the couch and retrieved the sketchbook she’d abandoned when I’d come running to tell her about my tasks for the week.

“Okay,” she drawled awkwardly, as if I was the one being weird.

The fact that she wasn’t pressing me for the information that I didn’t want to share was grating on my nerves. How could she be so calm about me withholding a secret from her? We told each other everything! This was a big deal and she was chillin’ like it wasn’t.

“I like Kris!” I finally blurted.

She didn’t even look up, her hands moving slowly with purpose, dragging the graphite pencil back and forth across the page in sweeping arcs. “Duh, girl. You came home from that first get-together and spent two hours telling me about her tattoos.”

My face heated from the memory. I’d been immediately enamored with her, just on looks and the sound of her voice, but when she said she wanted to find love on the show, I’d been a goner.