Page 74 of D’Vaughn and Kris Plan a Wedding

Eyes sparkling, Kevin chuckled. He was having a ball shocking the shit out of me.

“I’m forty-six.”

“Forty-six?!”

“Joe and I met at Splash in the nineties.”

“Splash?!” I exclaimed dramatically. “The nineties?! Was I even alive?”

He narrowed his eyes. “You know what? I really don’t like you right now.”

Wiping under my eye, I tried to catch my breath. “It doesn’t matter. Joe already admitted that I’m your favorite.”

“D’Vaughn is my favorite,” he corrected swiftly before pointing at me. “You’re just the stud she ended up with.”

My mouth fell open and I started wheezing, tears coming to my eyes as I laughed harder than ever. “Damn, Kevin! That almost hurt my feelings.”

“Now, honey,” he murmured in a voice that was condescension dipped in Texas wildflower honey, both of his hands on his hips as he pursed his lips. “Social media influencers don’t have feelings. You have content and algorithms. Followers and brand endorsements.”

Fuck! He was roasting the shit out of me and I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t even take in a breath long enough to defend myself.

“You’re judging me so hard right now. I’m starting to get offended.”

“Au contraire, dearheart. I’m not judging you any more than you were judging me for being born in the seventies.”

“I was definitely judging,” I mumbled under my breath. Louder, I added, “Don’t act like you aren’t on social media also. Everyone is.”

He nodded. “Of course. This is the technology age, after all. The difference is that I care more about the life I’ve created off camera, than the number of followers I have. They’re just bystanders that I share bits and pieces of my life with. They don’t know me—hell, most of them wouldn’t even be able to pick my face out of a lineup—they just see the blue check and assume I must be someone important. You, on the other hand, are curating a life for the purpose of entertaining people on the other side of the screen. This isn’t a judgment of your career, because I understand that people are going to do whatever they can to make money.”

Nodding, I remained silent as I worked to not feel attacked by his accurate assessment of what I did on social media. My seemingly instant rise to social media fame might not have started off that way, but it was now exactly as he had observed. Every single post that I made was planned, drafted, and shot with the intention of getting a response from my some-odd two hundred and fifty thousand followers. Even the more casual—and especially the “impromptu”—posts.

“Even with the awards and accolades I received for producing shows like these,” Kevin continued, waving a hand in the air, “I can’t deny that sometimes, the shows with my name on them do more harm than good. In a room back there, you have a beautiful soul who is quickly realizing that she’s in love with you. I hope you are more concerned with making sure that she doesn’t regret those feelings when she sees the person you are on social media, because we both know that the Kris Zavala online isn’t the same woman that’s standing in front of me right now.”

My head bobbed again, making me feel like one of those dolls with springs for a neck mounted on a dashboard, but there was nothing for me to say, and thankfully, Kevin knew that. Wisely realizing that I was likely to spend the next few moments absorbing his words, he squeezed my shoulder.

“Take a minute if you need to,” he said, reading my mind completely. “I’ll let Jae know I held you up and that you’ll be back soon.” Then he exited the hall, leaving me with so much more to think about than I’d expected when I’d left D’Vaughn.

Suddenly, I understood what Joe had meant by Kevin showing favoritism. The talk we’d just had, everything beyond the banter and teasing, felt out of place on a show like this. With Instant I Do essentially being a race to the finish, this wasn’t a place for mentors or life advice. Anyone could rationalize that a show built around planning a wedding definitely, probably, maybe had romance at its core, and I had been one of those people when I initially auditioned. Now that I was in the trenches, I realized that was an illusion. The show was cut and edited to seem that way, but the weekly tasks put the focus on our loved ones and left us with scant moments to be alone and really get to know each other.

Kevin had given me a new perspective and a renewed sense of my original mission. It was no longer a broad sense of finding love, but making sure that D’Vaughn knew that the love I found with her wasn’t something I was willing to go without. I had to make the next couple of weeks count.

Jitter Cam 10-Kris

What is there to say?

The flowers were beautiful. Mami did a great job with choosing. She knows all about this floral stuff. D’Vaughn and I had no problem letting her take the lead today and thankfully she heard our suggestions and we all were able to agree.

I was a little concerned in the beginning about having to have my family’s input at every step, but this has been such a rewarding experience. They all have had my best interest at heart and that means so much to me. I love those people, man.

What do you mean, ‘and’? And I love that they love D’Vaughn.

Come on, man. Don’t look at me like that.

And...and...I love D’Vaughn too.

I just... I told her that I loved her, and she looked like she’d been hit by a truck. There haven’t been many opportunities in my life to confess my feelings like that, but I know that the expression she wore isn’t the response you hope to get. It was like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, and not in the ‘OMG, that’s so amazing!’ kind of way. Like damn, was it really so shocking?

Of course I really love her. Why would you ask me that? What do you mean ‘You have to wonder’? Wonder about what? I came into this ready for love, so why would that even be a question?