Page 99 of Heart of Night and Fire

“Obviously, Aarav was furious with me after that. I reminded him of what his friend had tried to do, but he didn’t care. Aarav had lost the woman he loved, along with the only friends he had. Living out there sequestered in the forest must have been lonely for him, too, but I never felt sorry for him. The way I saw it, he was at least allowed to leave, while I always had to stay behind. But he’s blamed me ever since.”

She wasn’t sure if she could face Yasen’s disappointment in her, so she focused on her hands clasped around her glass. Zarya had told herself she deserved Aarav’s condemnation, over and over. She had killed those people by running to Row. They would still be alive if she’d waited until they’d had enough time to get away.

Yasen took her chin and turned her head towards him. When she finally gathered the courage to look at him, she found only sorrow and understanding reflecting back.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, his voice just audible over the din of the crowded bar. “He was wrong to blame you, and you did nothing wrong. You were a kid and should never have been put through any of that. It was not your fault.”

No one had ever uttered those words to her. No one had ever sat her down and looked at her and told her those deaths hadn’t been her responsibility. Something tight and heavy fell away from her then, tangled ropes that unfurled and dropped to her feet in a pile of discarded baggage.

“Thank you,” she whispered as Yasen stood, causing Zarya to flinch.

“What?” He scowled with his arms paused in midair. “I want to give you a hug.”

“You do?”

“Yes, I do. You seem to really like them.”

Zarya laughed, wiping her tears, and Yasen folded her into his arms. He was warm and solid and comforting and felt like something close to the family she’d craved for so long. She wished she could bottle this feeling and keep it for the next time she was lonely.

“I haven’t had very many of them in my life. Hugs, I mean,” Zarya said as Yasen rested his chin on her head.

“I suppose I haven’t, either. Maybe I see what the fuss is about.”

After a minute, they pulled away, both somber.

“So much for our fun night of drinking,” Zarya said.

“Well, Zee, the night is still young.”

He held up his glass, and she grinned at him. “And when I get drunk enough, I’m going to go find that idiot Aarav and kick his bony ass.”

Zarya burst out laughing, and they clinked their glasses just as Dharati’s alarm bells began to ring.

THIRTY-FIVE

The bar fell silent.

“What is it?” Zarya asked in a soft voice before a series of sharp staccato blasts pierced the air.

“The queen,” Yasen said, recognizing the signal as they jumped up and tripped into the streets, pushing their way through the already-thickening crowds.

A steady tide of bodies was spilling into the courtyard through the palace gates. Yasen and Zarya entered to find small clusters of Dharatis gathered together, some sitting on the ground with their legs crossed, while others used the walls for support, everyone watching the Jai Tree intently.

They caught sight of Kindle working in tandem with the palace guards to bring some semblance of order to the growing chaos.

“What’s going on?” Yasen asked as they approached.

“Koura says Rani Vasvi’s end is near. We’re asking everyone to form a line if they’d like to pay their respects.”

Over the next few hours, Zarya and Yasen did what they could to help. The courtyard hummed with chants and pleading, flickering with candles and lanterns into the night.

“Should we go in?” Zarya asked eventually. Vikram and Amrita had been inside all this time, and she wanted to see how they were holding up.

Yasen rubbed a hand over his face and nodded, a faraway look in his eyes.

She linked her hand with his, and at first, he studied their joined fingers. When he looked up, conflict furrowed his brows. Poor Yasen. Maybe he hadn’t grown up chained to a shoreline, but he might have spent his life nearly as alone as she had.

She squeezed, trying to convey the message that she was here for him. He nodded and looked away quickly before they headed for the queen’s throne room.