Page 148 of Queen of Shadows and Ruin

“Zarya, I cannot support this!” Row said. “I’m sorry. I’ve been holding my tongue since we left Taaranas, but you can’t really mean to go through with this.”

“What choice do we have?”

He couldn’t answer, and they all fell silent. Zarya’s gaze wandered to the window and the balcony where she’d sat with Yasen staring at the distant view.

She’d spent so many years waiting for her life to begin. But she couldn’t have known what fate had in store.

“Supposing we did this,” Apsara said and raised a hand when it was clear she was about to be met with a chorus of objections. “I’m only asking. How do we kill the Ashvins without you? If all the Chiranjivi are needed?”

Zarya blew out a breath. “That’s where the paramadhar bond comes in.”

She paused as she let everyone put it together.

“This is why he was given to me,” she said. “Loka said I would need him at the end.”

“But won’t he die, too?” Suvanna asked, throwing him an apologetic look.

Rabin blew out a long sigh. “Not right away. I’d remain alive long enough to possibly save her. True death doesn’t come for a few minutes.”

“A few minutes?” Row asked. “This is madness! What if he can’t revive you?”

“Row,” Zarya said. “Everyone will die if we don’t do this.”

He roared in frustration. “I know that!”

“So, we…” Apsara swallowed. “Kill Zarya, wait for the Ashvins to exit her body, and hope Rabin can revive her quickly enough. And while he’s doing that, we contain the Ashvins until you return, and then we kill them so that an army of ancient demons doesn’t consume all of Rahajhan.”

Zarya winced. “When you put it like that…”

“This is a terrible plan,” Row said. “This can’t be the way.”

“It is the way,” she insisted.

“Are you so ready to die?” Row shouted. “Your life finally has begun, and now you want to throw it all away!”

“Of course I don’t!” she screamed. “I don’t want to die. I wanted to live. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. I’ve found everything I wished for. I’m married to the love of my life. I just…”

She broke off, sobs wracking her chest as she turned to Rabin, burying her face against him. He’d been so quiet during all this, but he was angry with himself for believing Abishek’s lies, and she knew exactly where he stood about her death.

She felt a hand on her back a moment later, followed by Row’s low voice. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just… I can’t bear to watch you die. We already lost Aarav and…”

She pulled away to meet his gaze. “I know. And I’m sorry that I might leave you, too.”

He shook his head, and Zarya hugged him for a long moment.

“We’ll need Kindle,” she said, pulling away, hoping Row wouldn’t continue arguing.

“He’s been in contact with us,” Apsara said. “He’s ready to help if we need him.”

Their gazes fell on Row, the only one who could retrieve him quickly.

“Please?” Zarya said, and he exhaled a sharp breath.

“Fine.”

“Then we’ll do it once you both return,” she said. “I was meant to free the vanshaj, but there will be no point to their freedom if the nairatta overrun us. We have to finish this.”

When no one argued any further, she took that as their silent confirmation.