Page 7 of Play The Game

Is there a way of letting him know without saying the words?

Fuck, okay, I mean, I could show him my scars, but even just the thought of that makes my stomach roil in shame and fear.

I squirm and bite my nails while he washes the dishes. “I’m not scared.”

“I didn’t say you were. Pretty sure I said jumpy.”

I roll my eyes at him. “It wasn’t just the Jackal that stopped me. I’m not interested in casual, never have been and never will be. I didn’t want to just fuck anyone.”

Harley scrubs the pans in silence, and I watch him while I try to figure out how the fuck to say it. When he moves on to wipe down the bench with such thoroughness that I know he’s been trained well by Avery, he says, “Are you asking me if I think this is casual? Because, fuck, Mounty, I’m kind of hoping you already know how serious we’re all taking this.”

I swallow. “Knowing something in your head is very different to letting… letting yourself really believe it. I guess, I still kind of think this is all going to blow up in my face.”

Harley nods and wipes his hands before walking around the breakfast bar and gently prying my legs open to stand between them. He waits for a moment until the tension melts out of me. I shiver as he leans down and cups my face gently, breathing the words onto my lips as he speaks. “I’m keeping you forever. I don’t do this shit for anything but keeps.” And then he swallows my answering sigh with a kiss.

I missed this. I missed the feeling of his lips on mine and his hands holding my face like I’m everything to him. That feeling finally breaks the hold of the Wolf on me. I wrap my legs around his hips and pull him closer; he never fucking gets close enough to me. I wonder if I’ll still feel that way when we do have sex. I shiver at the thought and moan into the kiss, sucking on his tongue for more.

Harley breaks away and groans at me, “You kiss me like you want to fucking consume me.”

“Maybe I do,” I tease, smiling and rubbing myself against his chest in a very non-Lips-like manner. When he groans again, pulling my hips flush with his, grinding his dick into me, I mentally high-five myself for the move. Then, annoyingly, another yawn escapes me, and he chuckles.

He hooks his arms under my legs to cup my ass in his big hands, squeezing as he lifts me up and presses me against his chest. “I’ll tuck you into bed, babe. I’ll go take a cold shower.”

I clear my throat but it doesn’t stop my voice from coming out as a rasp. “Sleep in my… our bed. The other one is for Avery. We can figure out the specifics when the others get here.”

TWO

After the first decent stretch of sleep I’ve had since the summer break started, the first thing I’m aware of as my consciousness kicks in is Harley’s hands on my body. Then it’s the heat of his skin and the thumping of his heart beneath my ear, lulling me into a hazy stupor until I’m almost tempted to go back to sleep. Draped over his chest, we’re tangled up in each other until there’s no telling where I end and he begins. There’s no demands in his actions, either. He’s just touching me because he can’t keep his hands off of me. God, I’m almost scared at how much I enjoy it, but there’s no denying that this is possibly the best fucking feeling in the world, and I never want it to end.

Blinking blearily as the sun streams through the cracks in the blinds, I figure it must be at least midday, but I’m in no rush to leave the haven of this bed. This is the exact reason I worked myself into the ground over the summer in the first place; to clear my schedule so I can spend my time however we want to until the break is over, so I guess this is my reward.

Stretching out my back, I smile as Harley mumbles under his breath appreciatively when the move pushes my ass up toward his hand. I hum under my breath as if I’m agreeing with him, hoping he understands what I’m saying. I don’t want to burst the bubble of soft touches and warm skin we’ve somehow found ourselves in. Outside of this is real life and all of the bad that is still hanging over our heads like an executioner’s sword, but fuck it, all of that can wait. Every little piece of the intelligence and patience I was priding myself on just last night disappears into thin air, leaving behind a side of me I barely even knew existed; the girl who needs this, needs him, more than I need air.

Seemingly unaware of the descent into madness I’m falling into, Harley smirks at me with the exact smug edge that sets my blood on fire in the best way, as he strokes a hand down my back. When he reaches the base of my spine, this freaking close to cupping my ass, he moves away instead to start back up between my shoulders again. I decide he absolutely knows I’m losing my shit and instead of helping out, he’s enjoying pushing me farther over the edge instead.

As I level a glare at him, his smirk only gets wider. “I’m going slow, Mounty, remember? Don’t be greedy.”

It might be the work of his hands, or maybe it’s the decent sleep I’ve finally had after weeks of shit, or, hell, I might have truly lost my mind, but I turn my face into his chest and bite him. Not hard, but enough to get his attention.

He lets out a groan and his voice is all gravel. “Fuck, babe, you start biting me and I will bite you the fuck back.”

There’s a predatory gleam in his eyes that has my toes curling and my eyes slipping shut as they roll back in my head. I’ve missed him, missed this, missed being Lips and not the Wolf. Being a normal girl and doing normal shit. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of this city and away from everything here that just won’t let me go.

When I still can’t bear to break the silence, Harley finally lets out a long breath as he shakes his head at me. “Last night you were looking at me like you’d rather jump out of the window than touch me, and now you’re all over me, looking like you want to spend the day naked in this bed.” He pauses for a second, glancing down at me before groaning again at whatever else he sees in my eyes. “I don’t know what the fuck to do. I’ve wanted you for so fucking long, and I’m not messing this up by pushing you. I need you to tell me what to do.”

Shit.

Swallowing, my own voice is still rough with sleep and more than a little desire. “I didn’t mean to look at you like that last night, it’s just—it’s hard to switch between Lips and the Wolf. I don’t… touch easy. This is new to me.”

Glancing away from him, I clear my throat before I continue, refusing to let this be a thing that we have to tip-toe around later. “I don’t just mean ‘us’, I mean any sort of physical contact. Honestly, it took me weeks of being around Avery before I got used to her touching me all the time. The first time she hugged me, I nearly jumped out of my skin. And… fuck, I don’t want to talk about this—it’ll only piss you off—but, before Hannaford, I was only ever touched when people were hurting me.”

His hands tighten a little, like he’s clutching at me and trying to get me away from some threat, but there’s nothing left here for him to save me from; I already did that myself. Still, it’s sweet that it’s his first instinct, and suddenly my heart is racing for a whole different reason.

Clearing my throat, I swiftly change topics. “Why didn't you ever ask me out? If you had been wanting me for as long as you say you have, then why not just tell me?”

He groans at me and rubs his face with one of his big palms for long enough that I sit up a little, propping myself up on his chest until I’m staring down at him. When my fingers start to trace little patterns on his chest, he finally gives me a look from the corner of his eye and then sighs. It's weird to see him unsure of himself.

“I was too scared you’d turn me down. I've never asked someone out before, I thought I’d fuck it up.”