Page 61 of One Last Thing Before You Go

“You guess?”

She takes a deep breath. “I like you, Knox.”

I grin down at her, placing a hand on her hip and pulling her in a little closer. “I mean, if we’re being honest, you’ve done a shit job at hiding it, Lottie, so I’m glad you’re done with that. I think what you mean is that you’re done denying it.”

She looks up at me with warm chocolate eyes but doesn’t say anything. I cup her face in my hands, all humor gone. “But are you serious? Is this what you want? Because I’m done with the back-and-forth. I don’t want you flip-flopping. Honestly, at this point, I’m so into you I don’t think I could take it.” My voice comes out a little too pained for comfort, but I rally. She just asked for casual, and that definitely didn’t sound like it. “If we’re going to do this… If we’re gonna do this, I need your word that you’re not gonna wake up tomorrow and disappear on me. That you aren’t gonna just up and change your mind. Even if this whole thing is casual.”

“Knox… I can promise you that it is highly unlikely that I will wake up tomorrow and change my mind about this. Short of finding out you’re a serial killer, I think we’re good for now. But no one can guarantee the future. I can’t make any major promises. I won’t. So for now, given our circumstances, how about we decide to just live in the moment? Relationships are messy. Let’s just… be. Hang out together. Enjoy each other’s company until we each go our own way.”

“Jesus,” I drop my hands from her face, shove them into my hair. “I’m not asking you to move in with me, marry me, have my kids.” She winces, her eyes dropping to my chest. “Hey, look at me,” I say softly. “I’m just asking you not to disappear in the middle of the goddamn night again. Can you promise me that?”

Her hands slide up my chest, lace behind my neck as she presses up against me. And I can’t help the way my lids drop halfway at the feel of her—her warmth, her softness.

“How about this? How about I commit to us for now, and promise to say goodbye before I leave again? And you do the same.”

The thought of never seeing her again, of her disappearing from my life leaves an unsavory taste in my mouth I can’t wait to get rid of. And why are we talking about endings before we’ve really even begun? I get she’s coming into this after her divorce, but she reads enough romance novels for me to say with certainty that she can’t really be that jaded. She can’t be. Someone who doesn’t believe in love wouldn’t be able to read about two people (or sometimes more, according to her e-reader) overcoming all obstacles to find love. She’s hurt—at the very least a little bruised still—and just needs me to be patient.

I can be patient.

I can show her that I’m not going to purposefully hurt her. That I’m not here to get in her way or use her. Until then, I’ll take whatever I can get.

“Okay. Let’s agree to enjoy whatever time we have together. I’d like that.”

I try to give her my best smile, ignoring the nagging feeling that, despite her fears, I’m the one who’s more likely to get hurt here—not her.

“So… Are we good?” There’s a slight tremble in her voice—it warms my chest, makes me grin so wide I feel it in my cheeks.

I want to say yes. I’m fucking dying to say yes. But this woman has been the center of everything for me—all I’ve been able to think of for the past few weeks. And if I say yes to this, to her, I’ll be agreeing to expiration dating her. To letting myself fall deeper and deeper, all the while knowing that I can’t keep her forever.

For a split second, I almost consider saying no. But then she looks up at me through those long lashes of hers and I know that I’m done.

“Knox. Are we good?” she asks again. “Because I’ve been dreaming of kissing you again for ages.”

“The feeling is mutual.” And without another word, I band an arm around her waist, pulling her even closer still, tilting her chin up to me with my other hand to press my lips to hers.

I’ll take whatever you give me.

The kiss doesn’t start off slow—not even for a second. As soon as our lips touch it’s like a flame to tinder, a fire erupting through us. There’s no doubt, no small hesitation. We melt into each other, our bodies molded perfectly in the same, familiar way they did all the other times we kissed before.

You were made for me, I think. And I was definitely made for you.

She whimpers in my mouth when I tug on her lower lip with my teeth and I almost lose it, my already hard dick now like stone. As her tongue teases my lips, parting them with a moan, I realize that this isn’t lust I’m feeling. The way she cups my face, angling it to better kiss me, the way my hand spans her lower back, holding her tightly to me… It’s so much more.

As I spin us both to press her against the wall by the door, my lips traveling down her neck, I can’t help but breathe everything I’m feeling against her sweet skin. Beautiful and feel so damn lucky and can’t believe this is finally happening and I never want this to end all while a fist tightens around my heart.

I’m so goddamn terrified by how much I want this.

I gently nip at her neck as I push my jacket off her shoulders. With satisfaction, I watch Lottie’s skin cover in goosebumps at the loss, making me want to run my tongue over them.

“Cold?” I tease, laughing into her neck.

She pants, fisting the back of my shirt. “The opposite, actually.”

“Oh, yeah? Then maybe we should stop. Let you cool down?”

She glares at me. “On second thought, I’m cold. Freezing, really. Need some warmth. Body heat.”

“Ah, well, I can definitely help with that.” I grin, covering Lottie with my body once more.