Page 97 of One Last Thing Before You Go

“The hell was what?” I pull my makeup bag from my duffel and power walk into the bathroom. It’s cowardly, I know, but I don’t think I can manage to look him in the eyes.

“Business partner? Really?” I hear the hurt masked by anger and frustration in his voice.

Knox stares at me, hands gripping the frame of the bathroom doorway on either side.

“I—I didn’t know what to say. She’s an ex-employee of mine—my former assistant—and I guess my professionalism kicked in from before.” I struggle to find the words, but we both know it’s just excuses.

“C’mon, Lottie. Cut the shit.”

I fidget with the contents of my bag, keeping my eyes locked on them. It isn’t until I feel his hands on my hips that I look up to meet his gaze in the reflection of the mirror.

“I’m ashamed.”

“Of us?”

“No. No.” I turn to cradle his face in my hands. Sighing, I search for the right words. Because even though I’m not ashamed of us—not really, anyway—I do feel painfully selfconscious about our age difference sometimes. “When I saw her… It was like a knife to the gut. A reminder that I had a kickass career—it was solid, I was respected—and now it’s gone. A reminder of all the things I’d lost from before.”

Knox hesitates, pulling my hands away from his face but keeping them in his. “Like your ex?”

“Yes, but not in the way you think. I wouldn’t ever go back to Finn. Like, ever. Even if he wanted me back, I would never be able to be with a man who so easily cast me aside.” Even if I really was, well… easily cast-asideable. “But it’s a part of my life that failed, just like work. And that isn’t something easy to face, you know? I’ve spent the better part of the last few years recovering from it, figuring out what my next move should be. And just when I think I’m getting my shit together… It’s there. She’s there. The sweetest person I ever worked with, but a reminder that, despite how hard we’ve been working these past couple of months, I already failed once before. And I just wanted to give myself clout. Wanted to emphasize that I was here on business and not just on a romantic weekend getaway with some guy I’ve been sleeping with.”

Scoffing, he drops my hands and walks away, shaking his head. I hear him mutter something that sounds like “…some guy I’m sleeping with…”

“I… That’s not what I meant. You know that I⁠—”

“You what?” He turns the full force of his blue eyes, fiery ice, on mine. “Know that I’m just some guy you’re sleeping with?”

“You’re not some guy. But even you just said not ten minutes ago that we’re sleeping together.”

“Yeah. That they could tell we’re sleeping together, yes, for sure. But not that I’m just some guy⁠—”

“Would you please stop saying it like that?”

“Jesus, Lottie. What the hell are we even doing here?”

Horrified, I stare at him with widened eyes. “I… I…”

“I care about you. I want to be with you. I’ve shared things with you that I would never— ” He drags a hand over his face. “But am I just some guy you’re fucking? Is that what this is for you?”

I can’t breathe. It’s like all the oxygen in the room has suddenly been sucked out of the room, the B&B, the entire goddamn planet. My heart beats a fast rhythm in my chest, the sound so loud it’s almost deafening.

I squeeze my eyes shut, digging my hands in my hair as I try to calm myself, steady my breathing. Because of course I care about him, but we had an arrangement. And I didn’t want to fall for him. I never meant to fall for him.

Goddammit. I fell for him.

“We agreed. We agreed to keep it⁠—”

“I swear, if I have to hear you say the word casual one more time, I’m gonna lose it.”

“Knox…”

He takes a deep breath. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair of me. It’s—It’s what I agreed to in the beginning. What we agreed to. But... Lottie. Things have changed. Haven’t they? Because they have for me.”

My lips tremble, a sob caught in my throat. “Yes, they’ve changed.” It’s all I can manage right now.

“Do you care about me?” he asks, brows furrowed.

“Of course I do. What are you even talking about? How could you ever believe otherwise?”