Page 31 of Call of the Blood

“You know, Declan, I probably am.” In the light of his incredulous expression, I raised my chin, my temper snapping. He had no idea what I went through to keep him safe, the delicate and dangerous chess game of trauma and horror and hopelessness. “Somewhere between seeing our mother’s murder scene, being forced to delete the footage of the event, meaning I had to watch it back, or perhaps when I had to stand at the funeral with you and pretend she had a heart attack or something. I forget the cover story. Yeah, I probably lost my mind.”

Declan staggered back.

“I’m sorry. That was uncalled for,” I said quickly, reaching out.

He recoiled.

It stung more than anything else could.

I shrank. Deflated from the guilt that rushed through me, I shrank back into the seat and, for the first time in a long time, curled over myself, bringing my knees to my chest.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered again.

“I could have helped,” he said back softly. “You didn’t have to do all of that alone.”

“You would have died,” I said, blinking back tears. “Just like Mom… Just like me.”

12

CHAPTER TWELVE

My brother and I sat in silence for some time until he moved to sit next to me, squeezing into the large armchair beside me. Since I had scared him, I couldn’t approach him again.

“How bad was it?”

“The night I met Alexius, I learned how little control the new vampires had. One had become obsessed with me. Followed me, attacked me. I had, at that point, bought pepper spray, a taser… and a gun. All recommendations from Rupert, you know the human who takes care of Alexius and me. He was trying to help me stay alive until help could get to me, and I ended up needing it. Fought for my life until he got there.” I took a deep breath.

“Or perhaps we can talk about the night it all ended. Edwin was throwing a party, invited a bunch of other vampires to show off or something. I needed to sneak in while he was distracted and break into his computer. Alexius and I were positive he had incriminating evidence somewhere; one of us had to find it. Alexius wasn’t able to just go in and kick the hornet’s nest. Evidence can be deleted if you kick the nest first. I got the evidence. I found the transactions, the emails… and I was caught after texting it to Alexius, trying to get out.”

I was staring not at my brother but at the space Alexius had been standing in some time before. I could imagine him there, which was better than remembering the night I died.

“I knew I was going to die, Declan.” I chuckled, a little mad, a little crazy. “And I laughed in our mother’s killer’s face. Told him he was going to die. He drained me in front of an audience after I told him Alexius would come kill them all. And I… was okay with dying at that point.” I tried to smile as I turned to Declan.

“I woke up in Savannah. Apparently, Alexius was already just close enough that as he killed Edwin, he could feed my body Edwin’s blood. Because Edwin died before I finished the Turn, he’s not really my creator. I’m considered an Orphan, disconnected from the blood’s generations of control from sire to new vampire. Edwin’s sire, whoever that is, couldn’t control me either. And Alexius didn’t know how much blood Edwin had exchanged with Claire, his lover, the more powerful of the two.

“So, I came out a bit stronger than anyone thought I would because a lot of Claire got through. She also died that night, nothing to worry about.” I pushed a hand through my hair. “So yeah, I woke up a vampire, having fully accepted I was dying. That I got my revenge, and you were safe, and it was over. I got up with a chip on my shoulder and a bone to pick with the vampires of the world. I had an offer, and I took it.”

He hugged me, and I finally cried.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered as he rocked me. “I owe you everything. You went through all that for me and Mom, and she’ll never know, and I think I would have never known if you had your way. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay!” I said, trying to wipe my eyes, fighting the tears of grief for a life I tried to never think about. I groaned as I remembered the color the tears would be. “Let me clean up before I stain anything. It’s just… it is what it is, Declan. I made the choice to stay with the vampires, and you chose to leave, and if people were going to die, it didn’t need to be you. And… while I might be fucking crazy now, I like my job. I stopped a roving band of newly turned vampires in Alaska on a murder spree. I’ve met new types of supernaturals we’d never heard of.” The nagas and cambions came to mind. “And I’m finally strong enough to face the world without shaking in my shoes.

“I can talk to people because being a vampire, some of the reactions humans have are really hard to elicit from us. We can blush, but it’s not every second at the smallest embarrassment. All the social anxiety I had? Most of it’s gone unless someone is intentionally trying to throw me off.” I found extra paper towels and tissues in his pantry and started cleaning up my face and hands. “I finally feel like… I’m doing what I should be. For now. It could change in a decade or two. Or tomorrow or never. But I’m not really mad about what I am. I’m more upset that I failed to keep you out of it.”

“And it’s too late now to get out of it,” he said, shrugging. “You’ve already made the enemies, and we’re known to be siblings.”

“Yeah, as a vampire those are never going away until someone is dead… more dead. Dead again?” I sighed. “We’re not really undead, fun fact. Our heart beats, just irregularly. I think that vampire physiology just changes how all our internal systems work. It just requires us to die to begin the process of changing all of it.”

“And now you’re trying to hide from the more important parts of the conversation, which is the fight for your life. You’ve always liked to use facts and information to hide what was really important, which is that you are in danger.”

“I’ve already had a few,” I reminded him. “While human, even. I’ll be fine. Alexius and I train… all the time, endlessly. He’s the best there is at killing other vampires. He’s not really the best at teaching someone how to be a vampire. From the stories, Jacob taught him more than he taught Jacob. However, when it comes to killing vampires, Alexius the Hunter is called that for a reason. He’s the vampire hunter humans wished they had. He’s also older. Like… we never knew Jacob was a Greek over two thousand years old. Alexius is even older than that. So old that while people call him the Macedonian, he’s probably not. He just looks like he’s from the region.”

“What?”

“Yeah! And he doesn’t really know how old he is, either. When he became a vampire, they were all mindless, fueled by the need for blood without understanding. Jacob brought him out of that before he ever became a vampire. Alexius is really powerful. I have the best guy I can in my corner.”

“The once mindless killing machine. Yeah.” Declan was nodding, but his face was pale.