Page 107 of The Logic of Loyalty

“I’m getting there, I promise.” Her eyes pop open, just for her to roll them at me, but she remains in my arms. “It is this last year that I’ve made the biggest mistakes. The ones that brought you only pain and disappointment. I’ve told you why, I’ve been working on recompense, and I need to tell you that I’m sorry.”

“You’ve already apologized⁠—”

“No, not really. I haven’t. I’ve explained myself. Tried to help you understand that it wasn’t what it looked like, but I never told you how deeply sorry I am for what I did.” Her eyes flutter back shut, but she stays. I take strength in that. “I have been so focused on trying to get you to understand that it was a misunderstanding, that I didn’t consider the fact that I still hurt you. The choices I made—the times that I chose her in whatever capacity—caused you so much pain, and betrayed your trust, and I will be spending the rest of my life—” I clear my throat when it tries to close up. “The rest of my life making it up to you.”

She sits quietly in my arms. “I’m not breakable, Trevor. But my trust is.”

“You didn’t deserve any of that from me.”

“I’m tired.” Her eyes remain closed, and she nuzzles into me.

“You’re growing two humans, and you’re married to an idiot.” She snorts, and a reluctant, relieved smile plays at my lips. “I miss you. Every morning, every day, and every night, I miss you.”

“I miss you too.”

I swallow the sharp emotion that wells up inside at her words. It’s more than I’ve gotten from her in months. “I love you.”

A soft snore greets my admission. I miss those words, but I squeeze her tighter in my arms. Content, I feel like I can finally breathe with her here.

Knocking on the door to my own house has become uncomfortably normal. I came back after taking Jacob to school this morning, feeling like something is missing. Paige went home after she woke up in my bed. She was quiet when she asked for a ride—one I was more than happy to give her, but she slipped into the house without a backward glance.

Bethany answers the door, holding it open for me with a warm smile. “Good morning, Trevor. What’re you doing here so early?” She gasps. “Does this mean you left the hell hole?” I follow her into the kitchen, where she pulls a mug from our cabinet and fills it. “If I were more attuned to energy and aura, I’d say yours looks lighter today.” I lean against the island and breathe easy. Her hand is bare again as she pours some cream into her coffee. She doesn’t add sugar, which throws me, until she hands the mug to me. “Is your being here so early have anything to do with finally calling it quits?”

I take the mug she’s offering, my heart warming with my first sip. Perfectly made. “Not quite. Not yet. Ms. Tyson told me I looked sick and needed to go home. Or essentially that I need to use some of my months of PTO before I quit.”

A smile ghosts across her face, her lips tilting along the edges. “I’ve always loved that woman.” There’s fondness in her voice.

“She’s the only human our father cowers to.”

“He’s afraid she will curse him.”

I laugh into my coffee, nearly spitting it out. “Holy shit. He absolutely would think that.” Originally from New Orleans, he probably suspects she would know voodoo. “She’d do it if she could.”

“She’d have done it for years if she could.”

We both snicker at the picture we’re painting of our father, but the shared humor turns into something that digs at me. A realization that we could have had this for so much longer. “I’m so sorry, Bethany. I’ve made so many mistakes.”

She sighs, dipping her head to the floor. “We’re going to go there, huh?” She looks back up into my identical eyes. “Can we at least sit on the couch before our session?” Her words are teasing, but her expression hints at the sadness banked inside.

“Yeah, sure.” She moseys into the living room, dragging her feet until she sits on one end of the couch, and I sit on the other. My coffee ripples with the movement of my bouncing knee, so I stop and sigh loudly. “I⁠—”

“You should know…What I said on the phone that night? Despite the ring,” she points to her empty finger, “I’m not really with him anymore. So you don’t need to worry.”

“Okay …”

She sighs and rolls her eyes. “It’s honestly petty. My reasoning.”

“Now I’m really intrigued.”

She chuckles. “It’s to spite two people and to keep a third off my case.”

Understanding dawns. “So you⁠—”

Ducking her head, she runs her finger over the design on her mug. “Mother didn’t get on my case about me leaving the house so long as she thought I was with Bobby.” Bethany looks up, “And then those two didn’t deserve to be together in the light. I wanted Bobby to continue to think he was getting away with it and sucking up to our family and me like it mattered while Krista was hidden away like the dirty secret she was always going to be.”

I let out a low whistle, and red creeps up her cheeks. “No, hell no. Don’t be embarrassed. I agree. They all were doing you wrong, so you took control of the narrative. That’s really incredible, Bethany.”

She nods, then lets out a long breath. “You lost control with a tire iron …” Smiling, she meets my eyes as I shrug.