Page 34 of Somnium

Sera dipped her head to the side and pressed her lips together into a firm line. “He mentioned he ran into you. It wouldn’t shock me if the rest of that crew pitched a fit and demanded to leave if they saw him, too.”

Cadi felt some primal part of herself wind tighter in defiance, rearing back at the knowledge that Elias had said anything to Sera about the events of the weekend, even if it was something as innocent as the fact that he had seen her.

Acid rose in her gut, dissolving the sense of ease she had felt only seconds ago. Was that why Sera had texted her? Because Elias had suggested it? Because they didn’t think she could take care of herself? Well she could. She was fine, and she definitely didn’t need an emotional wellness check.

She was fine.

But when she looked across the table, the hissing creature inside her softened. There was no judgement or condescension on Sera’s face; instead, she just saw her friend whose only aim in that moment was to make sure that she was okay. And as much as she hated to admit it, even to herself, maybe she wasn’t actually as fine as she thought she was.

Cadi shook her head, forcing out a hollow laugh. “No, it wasn’t that. It was actually kind of the opposite.”

Sera stayed quiet, giving Cadi the space and silence she needed to continue.

An overwhelming need to speak, to divulge everything, clawed behind Cadi’s ribs. She blinked hard, forcing back the sting that had returned along the edges of her eyes as the tears she had denied earlier came back to claim their right. When the first one announced its arrival, tracing a line down her cheek, she quickly swiped the heel of her hand across her face. But the damage was done.

Sera’s eyes went wide, and her hand moved to grip Cadi’s with an evenness that made her throat clench. “Babe, what happened?”

Cadi leaned forward, pressing her free hand into her eyes, trying and failing to stem the flood of emotions that she had been holding back. “I’m sorry,” she sniffed, “you invited me for lunch and I’m fucking ruining it by turning into a whiny mess.”

“Sweetie, no,” Sera said, running her thumb against the skin of Cadi’s hand. “I’m your friend. When things get heavy, I’ll always be here to help you carry it.”

Cadi let out a soft sound, though she couldn’t begin to tell if it was a laugh or a sob at the way her defenses cracked beneath the weight of Sera’s promise.

The words poured out of her. Celine, Damon, Zoe, how all of the bullshit seemed to be coming back on her. Through her tears, she almost didn’t notice the softness that slipped into her voice when she recounted the way Elias had stepped in, helping her not only in that moment, but in her apartment after.

“Fuck,” she breathed, rubbing her fingertips against her forehead. “I am so sick of crying over those people.”

Sera’s grip tightened around her fingers, urging her to look up. Cadi’s breath came out with a small tremble. Undeniable pain stared back at her through her friend’s expression, but beneath that was a flicker of righteous anger.

“Sweetie, I am so sorry that happened to you,” she said, “and I’m so fucking proud of you for standing up for yourself.”

Cadi tried to return Sera’s comforting look, but even faking it felt monumental, the muscles in her face adamantly protesting the lie.

“Also,” Sera continued, “just say the word and I will gladly hex that smarmy fuck.”

A laugh burst from Cadi’s throat, the offer surprising her with how easily it lifted her spirits. She didn’t know exactly what Sera had in mind when she said “hex,” but a grin spread across her face at the thought of Damon with a permanent rash or premature baldness.

“Thanks,” she said, wiping the residual dampness from beneath her eyes. “But that won’t be necessary. I’m planning to strongly suggest to my supervisor that Zoe and I no longer work on the same floor when I get back and I … I can’t be involved with the Order anymore.”

She paused, waiting for any sign of protest from Sera, and when none came, she pressed on. “I was really only there because I wanted to keep my word to Zoe that I would give it a shot, but with all of this shit, it just doesn’t feel worth it anymore. Not while there’s still a chance of running into …”

Her words trailed off, and Sera nodded slowly, the softness in her eyes easing a bit of tension that had begun to creep into Cadi’s chest as she spoke.

“I completely understand,” she said, leaning back against the chair.

A spark of confusion flared to life when Sera’s shoulders loosened and the lines of her face relaxed slightly. Cadi had expected to see sadness or maybe disappointment when she broke the news that she was planning to step away from the Order, so the look of relief that currently shone across Sera’s face was a surprise.

A rhythmic buzz cut through the quiet, derailing Cadi’s curiosity as Sera’s phone danced across the table, the vibrations amplified through the wooden surface. Sera looked down, tipping the screen toward her to read the incoming message.

“Ah, looks like someone’s ears were burning.”

Cadi lifted her eyebrows in question, her confused expression pulling a low chuckle from Sera.

“Elias,” she explained, “I told him where we were meeting and he invited himself along. The man has an unhealthy obsession with the grilled cheese stall.”

A rush of panic sent Cadi’s nerves tumbling, and her eyes dropped to the stained tray between them. Even the few remaining spices and fries managed to engulf them in a tangy reminder of her lunch choice. Standing quickly, Cadi snatched up the tray and scurried off to find a trash can, deciding it would be best to deposit the offensive item as far away from their table as she could.

She cringed when she caught sight of her reflection in the metallic siding of one of the food trucks and chastised herself for her bad habit of putting off doing laundry until it was absolutely necessary. A habit that had caught up with her that morning when she had been forced to don her least-flattering pair of scrubs. Now, the dull gray color that rested against her skin placed her complexion squarely between “vampire” and “sickly Victorian child who may not last the winter.”