Page 137 of Forged in Fading

He caught her eye, and his hand paused in its frenzied movement over the map. His mouth stretched into a grin, tugging the right side of his lips higher than the left and dislodging a storm of flurries within Alvara that tickled her stomach.

That. That was what she wanted to memorize most of all.

Boden whispered something to Rav and approached her. “Interested in a walk?”

She knew what he hadn’t said. One last walk. It could be the final one they ever took together. “Always.”

The brisk night air cradled the delicate scent of flowering buds, and Alvara and Boden walked side by side, their hands close enough to touch if she only reached out.

She clasped hers together instead, the sheer enormity of all the things she wanted to say lodging in her throat. She didn’t even know where to start.

“What are you thinking about?” Boden asked.

They had neared the water, where the shadows of the men who had attacked her still lingered, but she wouldn’t give them that power over her. The beach hummed with preparations—elves, demi-elves, and humans doing what they could to control the many unknowns of battle.

Alvara focused her eyes on the glassy calm of the sea instead, something steady ahead of the chaos that awaited them. “You.”

“Should I be scared? It is only fair you let me find a weapon before attacking.”

She gave him a light shove. “I’m thinking about how I may have never met you if I didn’t deliver that sword. How different my life might be. How much I would be missing, and I wouldn’t have even realized.”

He sat in the sand and motioned for her to do the same. “I couldn’t have comprehended how much I needed someone like you until I had it. Once I did, I couldn’t imagine what my world had been like before you.” Boden smiled, looking her up and down. “You’ve left a mark, Alvara Himren, whether you like it or not, that no weapon or magic, not even Helvati herself can remove if she tried. And I will carry that mark with me into battle tomorrow and fade with it etched into my soul if it comes to that. And it will have been an honor.”

Alvara choked on her next breath. “Every time I think I’ve said something decent, you always have to go and outdo me.”

He chuckled and sidled closer. “We aren’t all able to wield weapons made of steel.”

“You least of all.”

“And here I thought I had made great progress since our first sparring match. You’re telling me now, the day before our possible fading, that I have room for improvement?”

The mention of the coming tide of blood, losing him, it was too much. Hot tears ran down her face, dripping into the coarse sand beneath her. She had become accustomed to them gushing out of her with ease since the day she broke the blood oath, and they had started to gradually release all the pressure that had built and expanded within her over the years.

Boden’s arm wrapped around her, and she rested her head on his shoulder, not caring what the closeness might mean or the judgment of others. She just needed him. His presence, his light was as essential to her survival as the air in her lungs and the food in her stomach.

The ocean waves roared and sighed, and the moon charted its path across the night sky, weaving threads of silver light on the sea in front of them. A world that would continue to move on, whether they lived or faded.

“There’s something I’d like to give you,” Boden murmured into her hair, and she tipped her head back. He held a paperbound package at his side.

“You don’t need to give me anything. Just this—you—are more than enough. And you already got both Kat and I something for Elafestir. You’re going to find yourself out of money soon enough.”

His arm dropped away, and a cold, yearning space took its place. “I didn’t give Kat anything for the holiday, that was Rav. I’m still surprised. They might actually be progressing toward something this time, but Elamara knows I’ve said that countless times before.”

The dress. He had only gotten something for Alvara. It shouldn’t matter, but…it did. And of course, curiosity prodded her to open the gift, though it would likely welcome a new deluge of tears.

“What is it?” Alvara asked.

He dropped the package into her lap. “Open it.”

She pulled on the string and peeled back the crinkled paper. A book. Though the title had been written in the human tongue, so she had little idea what she truly held. Alvara could feel her father in the paper between her fingertips as she flipped through the leatherbound pages.

“It’s the story of Vitharen and Delmis. Your father’s favorite.”

Oh gods, here they come again. She fought against any threat of moisture, not wanting to sully the unbelievable beauty she held in her hands. “Thank you. I…” Nothing she could say would do it justice.

He tapped the title. “It’s in the human language, because as you can imagine, they don’t have many Elvish books here. I thought, maybe when all this is over, I could teach you how to read it.”

She blinked. He always managed to destroy her last shreds of composure in the best of ways. “I would love that.” Alvara looked at Boden, her friend—such a pathetic word for what he truly meant—who had done so much for her. Who had melted the cage of ice clinging to her heart and allowed her to start the back-breaking work of repairing the shattered pieces of her soul. “You’re not allowed to fade. If you do, I’ll find you in Levahem and drag you back here whether you like it or not.”