Page 105 of Give Me Peace

“I’m okay, baby girl.” My eyes flash to his scar, wishing I could erase the imperfection from his sun-kissed skin. “In fact, I’m happy to demonstrate just how okay I really am. Give me three minutes in the laundry room. You, me, a heavy load of towels in the dryer, working in tandem to get you off as I eat your pussy like a French delicacy.” I slap his chest with the back of my hand, rolling my eyes at the ridiculous suggestion.

“Turkey is done!” Kash hollers, his tongue poking out as he concentrates extra hard on pulling it from the oven.

“You drop that bird and we’re throwing hands.” I step away from Roan, winking as I glance back over my shoulder. “I’m dessert, Big Guy, not the main course.” Kade snorts, smacking my butt as I walk past him.

The table is set, our plates perfectly placed and food presented beautifully. I bite back a smile, knowing they planned this just in case today’s the day I woke up and decided to be one of those Instagram girls. They want me to test the waters, try out everything I can think of to figure out who I am. Who I want to be. But I’m just me. Simple, boyfriend hoarding Saylor who loves five men without an ounce of shame.

“I love it.” I give them each a grateful smile, sliding out a chair so we can get this show on the road. “Who’s carving the turkey?” Who knew a simple question could lead to such male posturing? Like primed peacocks fluffing their feathers, they puff out their chests, arguing over who’s earned the right to knife duty. Playing dirty but smart, Roan uses his forever get-out-of-jail-free card, tossing out the near-death experience he endured.

Dinner is everything I dreamed of one day having. A table full of food, surrounded by people I love. I wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone else. The only person missing is Mom, but Kade nailed the dressing. It would’ve been great to have her here, holding my hand along the way as I navigate life outside of Liam and Jeremiah, but I know she’s watching over us. It hasn’t been easy, though.

It’s hard to let go of the fear that’s been a constant for so long. The first time we ventured into town, I had a panic attack. I didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. My gaze kept tracking every person we passed, watching the way they’d stare and whisper. I couldn’t tell if it was because I was holding the hands of two men, or if they somehow recognized me from the news reports making their rounds across the country. My face was plastered on every media outlet imaginable, so the idea wasn’t improbable.

That worry quickly morphed into the realization that I’ll never truly know the thoughts and intentions of a stranger. As I’ve come to learn, sociopaths excel in mimicking normalcy. Most people aren’t ever aware they’ve come into contact with someone presenting markers for antisocial personality disorder. And I somehow encountered two in the first fourteen years of my life. If that’s not character building, I don’t know what is.

After our failed outing, I stuck close to home. I took comfort in the beach and my guys, content to spend all my time with them. But I know they’re worried. I’ve overheard Lochlan speaking to Denvers, questioning my inability to feel guilt over killing someone. Out of everything I’ve struggled with, taking Jeremiah’s life has never been a problem for me. I understand the difference between malicious harm and self-defense. He doesn’t get to live rent free in my head any longer.

“Fuck, that was good.” Roan groans, leaning back to pat his stomach. “Not it for cleanup.” He touches the tip of his nose with his finger, reverting back to the prepubescent way of settling things. Lochlan and I are the only two who don’t rush to join in, both of us shaking our heads at their immaturity. Honestly, though, I wouldn’t have them any other way.

We clean the table off together, joking about the leftovers we’ll be eating for days. As soon as I swipe the last bit of crumbs from the counter, Lochlan takes my hand and spins me. Softly, a Christmas song starts to play. I laugh as he dances us around the kitchen, my steps faltering when I glance toward the living room and find it filled with boxes and storage totes.

“What’s all this?” I take in the bins, glancing from one guy to the next as I wait for an explanation.

“Duh, it’s Christmas now. Time to decorate the tree!” Kash launches himself over the couch and plucks me clear off my feet. I laugh as he lifts me, holding on for dear life as he rushes for the nearest box. He rights me, holding my arms until I’m steady, then proceeds to rip tree parts out like a manic little elf. His excitement is borderline scary.

“Kash goes a bit feral when it comes to decorating,” Kade comments from behind me, like he’s using my body as a shield from the crazy.

“You don’t say,” I reply dryly, watching in disbelief as tinsel and garland get added to the mix. By the time the containers are empty, it looks like the North Pole threw up in our living room.

“Let the games begin!” Kash claps his hands together excitedly, the megawatt grin he’s sporting infectious.

“Games?” I whisper in confusion.

“Yeah,” Lochlan answers while handing me a mug of hot chocolate. I moan at the first sip and pop a few marshmallows in my mouth. Pure, milky heaven. “Kash likes to make it a competition to see who can decorate the best, but he’s really only competing with himself. Anytime we try to do anything, he panics and takes over, convinced we won’t do it right.” I bite back a smile, in awe of how sweet he is.

Maybe it’s not obvious to the others, but I can see how eager Kash is to make everything perfect. For someone who lacked warmth growing up, he wants to fill his own home up until it’s overflowing. All the things he longed for as a kid, he recreates for his new family. Tears prick the backs of my eyes as I watch him flutter about, tripping every few feet on the mess of Christmas décor he’s pulled out. He’s like a holiday fairy, spreading cheer everywhere he goes.

My mouth waters just thinking of all the sugary treats he’s bound to make. Setting my cup aside, I jump in, determined to be a part of this. Kash halts his frenzied movements as I stop beside him, his brown eyes meeting mine. We share a silent moment of understanding before he pulls me in for a kiss. He takes his time, tasting me thoroughly, unbothered by the audience we have. I laugh as I pull away, shaking my head at the dirty wink he gives me.

“Put me to work, Santa.” I bat my eyes and wait for instruction.

“Oh, I’ve got some work you could do.” Kash waggles his eyebrows, wincing as Roan smacks the back of his head. “Fun police,” he snarks, sticking his tongue out.

It’s well past midnight when we finally finish. There was a brief intermission for a second helping of pie, but other than that, Kash kept us on track, barking out tasks left and right. Roan lifts me up and sets me on his shoulders so I can put the star on the tree. As soon as the last piece is in place, we all crash on the couch, my body wedged between the twins as they snore soundly. This is just the beginning. We’ve got years ahead of us and so many memories to make. With that in mind, I fall asleep with my heart and belly full, ready to face the next chapter head on.

Epilogue

Saylor

“Happy Birthday to you.”

A sing-song-y voice brushes the edge of my consciousness, but the soft, fuzzy blanket I’m buried beneath feels way too good to vacate.

“Happy Birthday to you.” That incessant tone prods at my brain once again, accompanied by a faint tickle to my side. “Happy Birthday, Dear Saylooooor. Happy Birthday to you!”

I gasp as someone rips the covers away and rolls me to my back. Before I can blink through the fogginess, my nipple is wrapped in a hot, wet mouth. I jerk up, bracing myself on my forearms as I stare at Kash above me, a delighted grin stretched across his handsome face. I’m completely naked, having spent half the night wrapped in Roan. He wanted to be the first to wish me a Happy Birthday, so as soon as the clock struck midnight, he proceeded to celebrate my twenty-third year around the sun with back-to-back orgasms. My lack of clothing is certainly working to Kash’s benefit.

“Would the Birthday Girl like her first surprise?” Kash’s low, sleep roughened voice is in intoxicating. Despite the ache between my thighs, I’m eager to find out where this is headed.