Page 45 of Give Me Peace

“Yep. Go ahead.”

I step closer, feeling five sets of eyes on me as I contemplate where to begin. It’s disconcerting to have them all staring.

“Here,” Lochlan says, stepping forward to hand me the biggest box. “Start with this one.” Roan pulls put a pocketknife and slices the packing tape down the seam. From there, it’s easy to pop the ends open. There’s a Styrofoam block covering the item, so I wiggle it off. It promptly slips from my hand as I get a good look at the sleek, silver laptop nestled inside with an apple emblem etched in the center.

“What?” I whisper, running my fingers across the smooth surface. “Why?” I’m so confused my thoughts are translating to simple, one-word questions.

“Havok explained the list you guys started down at the beach. So, we wanted to help you get started. If you’re planning to get your GED, you’ll need these things.” Lochlan shrugs, as if it’s no big deal when I know this laptop must have cost a fortune.

“Another one!” Kash claps excitedly, snatching a package up and handing it to me. I’ve barely wrapped my head around the first, but my fingers move without thought to tear open the poly-mailer. I slide the contents out, sorting through the various pens, pencils, and notebooks.

“Boring,” Kash grumbles, shoving another at me. Roan has already taken care of the tape, so I flip the box open. A study guide to getting your GED stares back at me. I flip through it, seeing multiple practice tests and informative material on every subject covered. Two other books are beneath it, much the same as the first, just made by different companies. I curl my fingers around the edge of the table, needing something to keep me steady.

They did all of this, bought all of this, so I can work towards something important to me. They not only listened, they heard me. I barely spoke about it, yet they understood how much this means to me. It was just another ‘thing’ for Kash to write down, something I’d focus on a year or two down the road. But it’s all here, at my literal fingertips, because they made it happen. I don’t realize I’m crying until the first, fat tear splashes against the table. I hastily wipe my face and look up at the guys.

I can’t believe they did this for me.

“Shit. We didn’t mean to upset you, Say. If you aren’t ready, that’s okay. All of this will still be here whenever you are.” Havok grimaces, rubbing at the back of his neck while keeping his eyes trained on the floor.

“No, that’s not it. I’m just…overwhelmed, I guess. This is really sweet and thoughtful. Thank you. I’ll pay you back for all of it. Krew can take it from the account Havok set up,” I offer, wringing my hands together anxiously.

“You don’t owe us anything, sweetheart. That’s the point of it being a gift.” Lochlan smiles, his honey-colored eyes warming as he watches me fidget.

“But..” I start to protest, so Roan presses his finger against my lips to hush me.

“No buts, Little Fighter. We did this because we wanted to and because you deserve it. We’ll help you as much and often as you need us to, but you’re going to do great.” He grins, the rare kind that makes his dimples pop.

“Krew can show you how to work the laptop,” Lochlan states. “Oh, and this. It’s identical to ours, but we tried to pick out a case that wasn’t so bland and boring.” He pulls a brand-new phone from his back pocket and hands it over. I blink at it, a high-pitched, hysterical sounding laugh tumbling out of me.

“This is too much.” I try to give it back, but Lochlan holds his hands in the air like he’s about to be arrested. So, unless I plan to shove it in his pocket like a sweaty dollar bill at a strip club, I have no choice but to hold on to it. “What the heck am I supposed to do with a phone? The only people I talk to are you guys, and if I need one of you all I have to do is leave my room.”

“Well, now you can save yourself the trip and text us instead.” Havok winks.

“It’s not about that, anyway. This, along with the computer, will give you access to the outside world. A sense of freedom. I know it’s not much, but you deserve to be able to search for something on the internet or online shop without asking one of us to help you do it. These are normal, everyday things you should have. I programmed our numbers in your phone already, so use them as much or little as you’d like.” Lochlan gives me a stern look, but it’s just a rouse to get me to stop arguing with him. I tug my bottom lip between my teeth, lacking the words to adequately express how grateful I am.

I step forward, pressing a kiss to Lochlan’s cheek, and decide to go with a simple, “Thank you.” I walk to each man, doing the exact same thing, not once feeling any sort of discomfort from the intimate gesture. I genuinely trust them. And not the surface-level extension of good faith I’d given them when deciding to come here, but pure, blind trust that no matter what, they have my best interest at heart.

“Would you like me to help you set everything up now or later?” Krew asks.

“Now’s fine, unless you have something else you need to be doing.”

“Nope. Let’s go, Tink.” He grabs the laptop and walks off. I toss a wave over my shoulder to the rest of the guys and follow after him.

I haven’t been in the twins’ office since the day I arrived. It seems like a sacred space for them. The lights are dimmed, so it takes a second for my eyes to adjust, but it looks the same as I remember. A few discarded energy drinks line their shared desk, but Krew slides them in the trash bin and motions for me to take a seat in Kash’s chair. He powers up my computer, asking if I’d like to set a password to the home screen. I don’t see a need for it and tell him as much.

“Privacy is important, Saylor. And it’s something you haven’t had in a really long time. I think you should add one,” Krew implores. I nod, swiveling the laptop around while he looks in the opposite direction. It takes me a second to come up with something, but I bite back a smile when I type out: LRKKH. I use the guys’ first initials, ordering them from oldest to youngest. Other than my birthday or Mom’s, I don’t really have anything else to use that I’d be able to remember. And I’m pretty sure there’s some unwritten rule about using personal information like that for a password.

“Okay, all good,” I tell him.

“Alright, the software has definitely seen an upgrade since you last used one of these, but the design is basically the same. I’ve connected the Wi-Fi and saved the password, so it’s good to go from here on out. I’m also blocking your VPN so your location can’t be traced.”

“Is that a legitimate concern?” I turn my attention to Krew, a hint of alarm in my voice.

“There’s always room for concern when you’re talking about the internet. Obviously, you need to stay away from social media for the time being, and anything you have delivered to the PO box should be addressed to SOTERIA. Regardless, there shouldn’t be any reason to worry.” He gives me a brief smile, then goes back to adjusting the user settings. It’s clear he knows his way around computers. His long fingers move so quickly across the keyboard I can barely track them. I watch him work, noticing how relaxed he looks in his element. The hardness I usually see has faded, his brown eyes a little lighter from the glow of the screen.

“You should be good to go. If you have any questions, my door’s always open. Can I show you around the phone?” He shuts the laptop down, sliding it towards me so we can trade devices. Krew pulls my chair closer, giving me a better view.

“I know you didn’t have a phone prior but are you familiar with the basic operations?” he asks me politely.