Page 47 of Give Me Peace

“Finally!” Kash jumps to his feet. “You’re the tiebreaker, Lemon Drop. What’s it gonna be?”

I scrunch my nose. My default setting of wanting to put the responsibility on someone else’s shoulders urges me to do just that. It’s like he knows exactly what I’m about to do because Roan raises an eyebrow, silently calling me out.

“Pepperoni?” It comes out like a question, but at least I give an answer.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Havok teases. “Besides, we’re going to order whatever each of us wants. Who cares if we end up with six different pizzas. It’s pizza. They’ll get eaten.” I gape at him, realizing I played right into their little scheme. It was effective, though.

“I just placed the order, so I’ll head out now. Should be ready by the time I get there.” Lochlan stands and drops a quick kiss to the top of my head.

“Are we too far out for delivery?” I ask.

“No, but we don’t want anyone coming here. Even if we paid with cash, it’s just not worth the risk. The house sits off the road a good bit, so most people have no idea we’re even down here. With the beach being private as well, the likelihood of someone stumbling across us unintentionally is pretty slim. I’d like to keep it that way, especially now that we have you here.” Lochlan tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, his eyes holding mine, then steps aways, promising to be back soon before striding towards the door.

“Okay, Say. What piece would you like to play?” Havok points at the coffee table where a game of Monopoly is being set up. In the thirty minutes it takes Lochlan to get back with the food, we’ve all made our choices—me being the doggy. We fill our plates and squeeze together, trying to give everyone a view of the board. The guys are big as it is, but six of us crowding around a four-sided table means we’re shoulder to shoulder.

“Saylor goes first,” Lochlan demands. I happily take the dice, knowing I’ll need the head start. My goal is to snatch up properties as quickly as possible because I royally suck at this game. I buy everything I land on, but somehow always miss out on the big ones that bring in the most money, and then I end up bankrupt. No one wins this game by having a hotel on Baltic Avenue. I roll a seven, landing on Chance. Of course. I may not have secured a property, but I am the proud new owner of a ‘get out of jail free’ card.

I take a bite of my pizza when Havok, who’s to my left, takes his turn. The noise that leaves me is…inappropriate. Even I understand that, but I have no shame when this may very well be the best thing I’ve ever tasted in my life.

“Pepperoni pizza,” Kash mumbles to the heavens while tapping on his phone.

Good Lord, he’s adding to that stupid list.

I toss a pepperoni at him, but he just eats it. The next hour passes with us laughing like hyenas and stuffing our faces. I’ve yet to make myself sick by overfilling my stomach, but there’s a good chance tonight will be the night I break that streak. Kash and Krew are comically competitive with each other, and when the game is nearly over, I’m shocked to find myself still standing. Barely. It’s down to me, Roan, and Lochlan and it’s my turn. I roll, squeezing my eyes shut as I wait to see how hard my quickly dwindling paper money is about to be hit.

Boardwalk. With a hotel.

“I’m out,” I groan, shoving everything—properties included—toward Lochlan. It’s probably still not enough.

“No, now you’re my partner.” Roan grins mischievously and tugs me closer.

The next few rounds are tit for tat. For every property we land on, Lochlan lands on one of ours. We’re just exchanging money at this point, doing nothing to pull ahead, but not falling behind, either. Until we get lucky, twice in a row, and Lochlan hits our most expensive ones back-to-back. Roan jumps up, grabbing me around the waist, and proceeds to twirl us in a circle as he gloats about finally beating Lochlan. I grunt. Even though he’s gentle, it still adds pressure to my ribs.

“Shit, sorry. Got excited,” Roan apologizes.

“It’s okay. They’re nowhere near as bad as they were. I haven’t needed pain meds in days.”

“You’re going to if this giant fucker keeps grabbing you like that,” Havok growls, shouldering between us so he can pull me away. He steers me to the couch, dropping beside me with a scowl on his face. He’s like a protective older brother. The thought makes me giggle. It’s such a stark contrast to how he used to be, it sets me off.

“Care to share with the class?” He cocks his head to the side, waiting for an explanation.

“I just find it funny that you’re acting like a protective older brother.” I press my finger between his eyebrows, trying to smooth out the line his scrunched expression is creating. “Especially since you did a lot worse when we were kids.”

“A brother?” Havok repeats, his icy blue eyes flashing with…something. The guys cough, trying to cover their own laughs.

“Wait…” Roan interrupts. “What do you mean by he did worse?” Havok pales, shifting beside me uncomfortably. I look between him and the others, confused by their confusion.

“Um…” I lock eyes with Havok. He twines his fingers with mine, giving me a self-deprecating smile.

“They don’t know,” he whispers. My eyes widen, wondering how it’s possible he’s kept such a huge part of our history a secret. It’s obvious how close they are. I mean, why’d they think he was so desperate to find me? It’s clear as day guilt was the driving force, but I press my lips together, unsure of what to say.

“Kade,” Roan snaps. “What the fuck is she talking about?”

Havok lets go of my hand, a sigh of resignation falling from his lips as me moves stand. He rocks his neck from side to side, as if he’s gearing up for a fight. Oh, God. I push to my feet so fast it makes me dizzy. Havok shakes his head at me and takes a step closer to his highly pissed off friend.

“I bullied Saylor all throughout school. It started when she was in kindergarten and I was in second grade. She was the sweetest thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to dirty her up. To make her life as messy as mine. I was jealous, but that doesn’t make any of what I did okay. On the day she went missing, she approached me at the front of the school. We’d just been dismissed, so everyone was out front. Saylor asked if I wanted some help studying for the science lab we had due at the end of the week.

“She was always smarter than most kids her age, so she was taking the class one year in advance. Meanwhile, I was repeating it because I didn’t give a shit about anyone or anything. I was embarrassed. Thought the other assholes standing near me heard her ask. It made me feel dumb, and I already felt severely lacking in comparison to the girl I thought had it all. I humiliated her, loudly, in front of half the school. I…I asked if that was her way of trying to get me to fuck her, if ‘study’ was code, because she’d obviously been chasing my dick for years. I toyed with her, dragging it out as long as I could, and she missed the bus. I’m the reason Saylor was walking home on May 23rd, 2017.”