Page 53 of Give Me Peace

Clearly the talk Krew and I had was effective. Though I’m kinda second-guessing my reasoning for finding it necessary to have him pull his head from his ass. I just added another competitor to the already overflowing pool of prospects. Loch says something to Saylor, making her laugh. I’m at a serious disadvantage experience-wise, but I won’t let that get in the way. I’m going woo the shit out of that girl. I smile at the thought, skipping my happy ass across the room so I can make her dance with me. Saylor giggles as I dip and spin her around the dining table, the tinkling sound claiming another piece of my heart.

We spend the rest of the day watching movies, doing our best to keep the mood up so Saylor doesn’t notice anything’s off. The sun has set by the time Denvers gets back to Loch. He excuses himself from the room to take the call, but Saylor pays him no mind, too engrossed with her popcorn and the teen drama unfolding on the television. It feels like he’s gone for hours, but I keep my eyes on the movie when he walks back in. My phone buzzes in my pocket.

One by one, we discreetly read the text Loch sent to the group chat, not wanting to make it obvious we’re having a conversation Saylor’s isn’t privy to. When it’s my turn, I pull my phone out and open the camera. Pointing it at Saylor, I tell her to smile. Her cheeks are filled with popcorn as she grins at me, looking like the cutest fucking chipmunk in existence. I snap the picture and set it as my background, then scroll to the unread message.

GC: Same description and initial COD.

Short and to the point; I expected nothing less. I’ve gone through a dozen suckers today from the stress of waiting on Denvers to relay what they found. And now I wish I didn’t know. I can see that Saylor’s safe, sitting just a few feet from me as she laughs at Ro—who’s pretending like he’s enthralled by yet another chick-flick—but my mind is replacing Liam’s latest victim with her. The thought of our blue-eyed girl being brutalized and murdered like those other women makes me homicidal. I jump up and shove my way between the two of them, pulling her as close as I can.

“You, okay?” She asks me quietly, brows drawn together as she attempts to analyze my odd behavior.

“Just need you,” I whisper, holding her gaze. Saylor watches me, or maybe she wants me to elaborate, but eventually decides my reasoning doesn’t matter. She turns and drops her feet between my legs, wiggling her tiny little toes beneath my thigh. With her head against my chest, I steal Kade’s blanket and tuck it around us. Her soft sigh just about does me in.

All it took was me saying I needed her, and here Saylor is, offering me more reassurance than she knows. I can feel each of her breaths and the steady pulse of her heart beneath my thumb. She has no idea what she means to me, and it fucking terrifies me that I could lose her. Not just to Liam, but to one of my brothers. I’m not sure I’d survive that.

Chapter Twenty-Six

Saylor

It’s the Fourth of July, and today officially marks five weeks since I was rescued. Sometimes it feels like I was just there yesterday, alone and hungry. Cold. But then there are days I don’t think about it at all. I’m not as consumed by what happened to me as I thought I’d be, and that alone confuses me to the point it makes my brain hurt if I think about it for too long. I brought it up to Danielle during our last session, worried something’s wrong with me, but she assured me there is no right or wrong way to move forward with my life. The best thing I can do right now is show myself some grace and do what feels right.

I know a huge part of how easily I’m adjusting has a lot to do with the guys. If I were alone, with nothing but my thoughts to keep me busy, I’m certain things wouldn’t be going so smoothly. Krew’s words still linger sometimes, but I’m doing my best to put them out of my mind. I know it’d be smart of me to establish some boundaries, but I just can’t seem to keep them at arm’s length. I don’t even sleep alone anymore. There’s always someone next to me, keeping the nightmares at bay, even if they weren’t there when I fell asleep.

Lochlan wants to barbeque and spend the day at the beach, so the guys have been prepping the food and grill while I get ready. I’ve been going through my swimsuit options, but I can’t make up my mind. A big part of me wants to opt for the black one-piece again, but a tiny, devious voice in the back of my head wants to try out the white bikini. My skin has a decent tan to it and my ribs no longer show. I got to take my brace off yesterday after slowly working my way up to going without it a few hours at a time. It was nice to shed another reminder of Liam and the damage he caused. For once, I look normal.

Everyone seeks validation at some point in their life. I want to feel good about myself. My body looks heathy with the extra weight I’ve put on and there’s barely any trace of the bruising from five weeks ago. It would definitely boost my confidence to have someone look at me appreciatively, but it feels wrong to put the guys in that position just for my own benefit. Indecisive, I try them all on.

I choose a red two-piece with high-waisted bottoms. The wrap top crisscrosses my back and keeps everything snug. Plus, the color is festive and matches the holiday. I toss on a cover-up, swipe a bit of chap-stick over my lips, and pull my hair into a high ponytail. That’s as good as it’s going to get, but we’re headed to the beach, not a dance club. Anything more would be a waste.

There’s a drawer full of makeup in my bathroom that still sits untouched. I wouldn’t know what to do with most of it anyway. Mom was supposed to walk me through that stage, but she’d been adamant I didn’t wear any in middle school. According to her, there was no point in rushing to grow up, because it wasn’t all that great once you got there. She wanted me to actually have a childhood, but a big part of mine was taken from the both of us. I shake my head, dispelling the sad thoughts before they can plummet my mood and ruin the day.

I can hear the guys laughing as I make my way toward the main room. I smile, their voices alone lifting my spirit. I swear, it’s like they’re doses of happy and somehow fine-tuned to my emotions. Any time I’m headed to a negative place, one of them inevitably does or says something that draws me back. More and more, I find myself wondering what I’d do if I didn’t have them. No answer I come up with is comforting, and it terrifies me that one day I might have to find out.

Kash is shoving snacks into a beach bag—all high in sugar—while Roan places the burgers in the fridge to keep them cool. The dining table, which has yet to be used for eating purposes, is full of colorful beach towels. Lochlan walks in behind me, his hand grazing the small of my back as I turn to look at him. He’s shorter than the other guys, around five-ten I believe, but he still has a good eight inches on me. His honey-colored eyes are bright and unobstructed today. He must have put contacts in since we’ll be dripping sweat within the hour, and he probably plans to swim.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He kisses my temple. The brief contact, while likely innocent to him, makes my stomach swarm with butterflies. Lochlan’s style leans more to business attire and preppy, so I’m not surprised by his outfit. His mint green swim-trunks fall to mid-thigh, paired with a plain white v-neck and leather boat shoes. Aviator sunglasses hang from his shirt, and his brown hair is perfectly swept to the side. He looks like he just stepped off a shoot for Abercrombie, but he’s so cute I can’t bring myself to pick at him. Unfortunately, Havok doesn’t have the same problem.

“Good God, dude. That might be your douchiest getup to-date. Quick, take a pic, Ro. This one needs to be framed.” Roan brushes off the request with a roll of his eyes, but Kash comes to the rescue and snaps one. Lochlan flips them both off.

“I think you look handsome.” I give the two troublemakers a mock glare, then bat my lashes at the man beside me with exaggeration. His smile is everything. It’s slow and magnetic, making my pulse race. He looks at Havok, his eyes flashing with pure, male satisfaction.

“You hear that? Saylor thinks I’mhandsome.” Lochlan grins, slipping his arm around my waist so he can pull me in. We’re chest to chest, my thudding heart hammering between us, as he drops his head to speak against my ear. My hands are fisted in the back of his shirt, which will likely leave wrinkles from how sweaty my palms are. “You look beautiful.” Three little words. That’s all he says, but I’m floating on air.

I smile as I lean back, rising to my tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. His hands tighten for a split second, but then he drops them and steps away. As if we were in a world of our own, the rest of the room filters back in. My cheeks heat, but no one seems to be aware of my inner thoughts. Kash is back to packing and Havok is dumping ice in the cooler. Roan is the only one I lock eyes with, but he just winks at me.

“Okay, children.” Lochlan claps his hands to get everyone’s attention. “Since it’s still early, we’ll wait a few more hours to fire up the grill. Are we missing anything, or are we ready to go?” He glances at each of us, but I have nothing but myself to worry about since they’ve obviously handled everything else.

“Nope. We’re good.” Roan hefts the cooler up like it weighs nothing while Kash opens the slider. They all have something to carry, so I snatch a towel. I’d like to think I’m contributing, but we all know I’m not. I follow Havok out, making sure to watch where I step as I descend the deck. The moment my bare feet meet the hot sand, I wince, remembering I left my flip-flops in my room.

“Shit,” I swear, bouncing around like a cracked-out bunny. The ground is literal lava and there’s no way I can make it down to the beach without losing a layer of skin. I scramble back to the last step, which is still hot as hell, and nearly topple Krew in the process. He grunts from the impact, his hands flying out to steady me.

“Anyone else love it when she cusses? So fucking hot.” Kash mumbles the last sentence, but it’s loud enough for everyone to hear. Lochlan smacks the back of his head, but I’m more focused on the way Krew still has his hands on my body.

“Hop on, Tink.” He edges around me. I just stand there, confused by what he’s wanting me to do. “Come on.” He points over his shoulder. “It’s a piggyback ride, don’t look so affronted.” His smile lets me know whatever expression I’m sporting isn’t actually offending him, but that’s not the problem.

“And you would like me to do that how? Should I climb you? Because there’s no amount of hopping that’s going to get me up there.” I look at the distance from me to where my arms would need to wrap around his neck in order to not fall on my ass, and yeah…not going to happen without bruising another rib.

“So fucking sassy,” Krew grumbles before dropping to a squat. “Is that better, princess?” I know he’s mocking me, but the tone of his voice doesn’t give that impression. I gently wrap my arms around his neck as he slides his hands beneath my thighs. Krew stands, taking my full weight like it’s nothing. The breath I just took gets trapped in my lungs. Every inch of my front is pressed against his back. We’re at the end of the line, but I don’t miss Havok mouth ‘lucky fucker’ as we start to move. I smile and rest my chin on Krew’s shoulder as he heads toward the water.