Page 59 of Give Me Peace

“Easy for you to say, you got to sleep next to her.” Ro scowls at me. Like they haven’t been in her bed plenty.

“We need to stay busy. Krew, there’s a new inquiry I’d like you to take a look at. I skimmed it, but from what I’ve gathered there’s a boy missing outside of Nashville. His parents reached out after being referred by a previous client. He's seventeen. Went to the city with a group of friends to scope out the music scene. Has plans to move there after graduation to pursue a career in the industry. Friends lost sight of him at the bar and he never resurfaced after last call. They haven’t seen him since.” Loch switches to business mode seamlessly. I nod along, eager to give my focus to something else for the time being. I’ve said all I could think to say, it’s up to Saylor now.

“On it.” I snag a breakfast bar from the pantry and head for my office. In here, I don’t feel the lies my stepfather force-fed me. I’m not a failure or a piece of shit. This is where I thrive and come to life. I crack open a Red Bull and settle in, preparing for a long day of digging. No complaints, though. Anything to take my mind of off last night and the way it felt to lay beside Saylor. To wake up next to her. The circumstances were less than optimal, but it still felt good. Too fucking good. I shake the thought away and refocus my attention on what I need to be doing.

As much as I’d love to daydream about that long blonde hair wrapped around my fist, those hypnotic blue eyes peering up at me from where Saylor kneels between my spread thighs…fuck. Great job of not going there, asshole. I’ve never let a woman affect me like this. Damn sure not to the point of distraction. I like sex. Love it, actually. But it’s a release. I’ve never done emotional attachments and didn’t have any plan to start. And then she walked in, this girl I never thought of as anything more than someone I felt drawn to and protective of because she meant something to Kade.

I tried—I really did. To keep my distance, to build that barrier up even higher. But she dismantled my walls in no time. I’d laugh if it weren’t so fucking pathetic. I gave my brothers shit for falling at Saylor’s feet like sad little saps, desperate for anything she’d give them, and even though I know this whole thing is going to go to shit one way or another, I can’t stop myself.

Now that I’ve let the idea take root, allowed myself to think of her in a way I know I shouldn’t, she’s all that plays on loop in my mind. I hate the hold she has on me. I don’t do well with change. When Kade came into the picture, it took me a lot longer to warm up to him than it did the others. And Saylor? She’s changing every-fucking-thing. Shaking my head, I toss my breakfast trash and try to ignore the way Saylor’s scent still clings to my clothes.

I grit my teeth and drop to my chair, sighing at the familiar feel. Immediately, I power up the monitor screens and locate the email Loch was referring to. I get lost in my work, researching the bar the kid was last seen at. They have no surveillance inside the establishment, but I check the surrounding businesses to see if they might have caught anything. I could submit a request for any footage they have, but where’s the fun in that when I can just hack my way in. When Kash and I studied coding, it was to fuck up the perfect little life our stepdad loved to flaunt. It was never my intention to make a living from it. But damn if things didn’t work out beautifully.

That asshole is rotting in a six-by-eight cell, hopefully getting the shit beat out of him on the daily, and I’ve got more money than he ever thought of having. In fact, I know ole Archie is miserable and rethinking his life choices, but I should check in with my contact. Just to be sure and all.

By the time I come up for air it’s nearing dinner time. The stiffness in my back tells me I’ve been at it for hours, but it’s easy to let the minutes slip away when I’m focused and in my element. My stomach growls, reminding me I’ve barely eaten a thing today. Thankfully, I can smell a faint whiff of garlic coming from the kitchen. With any luck, Ro’s making his famous lasagna. I could eat a whole fucking cow right now. I’ve just pushed back from my desk, stretching my body out, when I hear the crash of someone stumbling down the hallway.

Fuck.

I’d bet my entire stash of energy drinks that Kash is up and aware, pissed as hell at me, and well on his way to Saylor’s room. I throw the office door open, catching a glimpse of him as he turns the corner. I take off after him, knowing my twin has the patience of a gnat and won’t give Saylor any more time to herself unless someone intervenes. Unfortunately, I’m a few seconds too late when I go to grab him. Kash snarls at me, arms loaded down with snacks like he’s planning to hole up in her room for an extended period of time.

And then he slams the goddamn door in my face.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Saylor

I’ve spent the entire day in a weird fog. After waking up next to Krew, my emotions have been all over the place. He was the last person I expected to wake and comfort me from a nightmare. Maybe it’s his own history with shitty dreams that led him in here, but I didn’t anticipate him staying. I was up a good ten minutes before Krew was. It was nice to watch him, completely unencumbered, taking in all the small things I hadn’t had a chance to. Like the small freckle just below his left eye. It’s not very noticeable because of his darker skin, but I was drawn to the slight physical difference distinguishing him from Kash.

Once he’d caught me staring, I felt a bit embarrassed, but not as much as I used to when stealing glimpses of him. There’s a high chance it was leftover anger that kept my bravery intact, even while I listened to him explain their reasoning—much like Lochlan already had—as to why they’d essentially lied. By omission, but still hurtful, nonetheless. Danielle has always left our communication open-ended, so I took advantage of that and dialed her number for the first time outside of one of our scheduled sessions. I hated to bother her, but I needed someone who’s not directly involved to shed some light on the situation.

Her input was helpful, but also grounding. Danielle reminded me that even though I’ve formed friendships with the guys, my safety is paramount above all else. Likely even more so for them now because we do have more than just a working relationship. Ultimately, she told me that if I’m entrusting my life to them—to which I’ve been doing since I made the choice to leave with them from the hospital—then I need to have faith that whatever decisions they make are in my best interest. I know the guys, especially Lochlan, didn’t make the call lightly.

Danielle also reminded me that communication is key in all aspects of life—business and personal—and if I want to be more involved going forward, I need to speak up and voice that. That’s hard though, especially when I feel like they chose to keep me in the dark because they thought I’d act rashly and put us all in danger. I can understand the logic, but it doesn’t help my confidence. I’ve always questioned my ability to make the right choice, which is why I typically go with the flow and let everyone else do the decision making, but the guys have been trying to break me of that.

So why shove me back in the corner when I start to feel comfortable doing that? I spoke up for myself last night, but that was mostly my hurt and anger taking the lead. We should have a conversation now that the shock has mostly worn off, but I’m nervous. I’ll have to grow a backbone eventually, because my hunger isn’t going to allow me to cower in my room forever.

I’m pacing back and forth at the foot of my bed, working up the nerve to face them, when my door bangs open. Kash stumbles in, growling behind him before he slams it shut. His shaky fingers struggle with the lock, but he eventually gets it. His arms are loaded junk food, to which he promptly deposits on my bed. I’m still as a statue as I watch him, my brows pinched in concern. He turns, causing me to gasp. He looks sick, like he’s seconds from throwing up. His skin is clammy and sweat dots his forehead.

“Are you okay?” I question, taking a small step closer. His breaths are labored, like the effort of walking back here took too much out of him.

“Sugar withdrawal. I’ll be right as rain in a second,” he huffs, tearing open a bag of Twizzlers and shoving one in his mouth. I stare in amusement as he scarfs down half in record time.

“Better?”

“Nuh uh.” Kash shakes his head, tossing the bag aside. He stalks toward me, the look in his brown eyes causing me to retreat until my back meets the closet door with a thud. He crowds me, bracing the palms of his hands on either said of my face. He’s so close, I can feel every puff of air that leaves his lips as he speaks. “I think it’s a Saylor withdrawal that’s got me all messed up. Need my sweetness, but not the candy variety.”

I swear the thump of my heart can be heard outside my body. There’s a whooshing in my ears, the space between us so charged it’s making me feel dizzy. I grip the hem of my shirt, belatedly realizing that it’s Kash’s and it’s the only thing I’m wearing besides a pair of boy shorts beneath it. I gulp, feeling way out of my element, but desperate to live in the moment.

“Can I kiss you, Saylor? Please say I can kiss you,” Kash pleads, the need in his voice rendering me speechless. Like my body has a mind of its own, I nod. It’s slight and barely discernable, but he homes in on the action like it’s the answer to all he’ll ever need to know from this point forward. Kash licks his lips, drawing my eyes to the movement. He exhales, a relieved smile making a quick appearance, then, slowly, his hands cup my cheeks. The warmth of his skin serves as a balm to the anxiety threatening to overwhelm me. I think I forget to breathe when his lips brush against mine.

Kash groans, the small bit contact snapping his restraint. His mouth presses into mine, the kiss tender and sweet. The tension I’ve been carrying slips away, and next thing I know, my hands are fisted in the front of his shirt, trying to draw him closer. He presses in, the hardness of his body making me gasp. Kash takes advantage of the opportunity without a second thought, his tongue pushing its way in and tangling with mine. I have no idea if what I’m doing is even right but based on the sounds he’s making, I don’t think it’s wrong. I’m breathless when he pulls away, dropping his forehead to mine. He’s been half bent over just to reach me, so I’m not sure he’s all that comfortable, but he doesn’t appear to be in a hurry to move.

“Damn, sweetness.” Kash groans, his voice rough with desire, but he doesn’t push the moment beyond the kiss. I think he knows that alone was enough to send my mind into a tailspin for days.

Holy shit, I just had my first kiss.

Kash gives me one more quick peck before backing up and putting some space between us. I’m appreciative and disappointed all at once. His cocky, satisfied smile makes me laugh, breaking up the tension. He snags my hand and yanks me back to him, wrapping his arms around me as he buries his face against my neck.