Page 93 of Give Me Peace

“You’ve got it wrong, Little Fighter. I’m not the least bit upset that you used whatever means necessary to come out on top. Honestly, I couldn’t be prouder. The look you saw was realization, but not in the sense you’re thinking. That was me coming to terms with the fact that you, Saylor Radley, are a goddamn weakness. Apparently, all it takes is a skinned knee to render me useless, and that’s fucking terrifying. Watching Elira die was the most torturous moment of my life. It wrecked me so profoundly, I’m still trying to recover. But you, baby girl? I’d die if I ever had to witness someone use you as a means to break me. It’d rip my soul straight from my fucking body. There’d be no coming back from that.”

Even now, lost to the macabre images plaguing his mind and the very real memories of his sister’s murder, Roan holds himself above me, keeping the brunt of his weight from crushing me. I think he does this in all aspects of his life. He treads water, slowly sinking beneath the surface because he’s too worried about everyone else to realize he’s the one who’s drowning. Roan keeps his demons in check because he doesn’t want to burden the rest of us. He’s a ‘suffer in silence’ type, but that doesn’t mean he should do it alone. God as my witness, I’ll do everything I can to never leave him to the kind of fate he’s so certain of if something were to happen to me.

“We’ll never have to find out, Big Guy. No sane person would ever cross you.” I smoosh his cheeks together, grinning at the way his lips pucker like a fish’s. “You look like a giant leprechaun.” I laugh at the green tint of Roan’s body as I peel off the goggles and rub at my blurred vision.

“This is…disgusting, really. So, if the two of you would kindly move, I’d be forever grateful.” Krew interrupts, moving from the darkened corner he’s been occupying for an undetermined amount of time. I press my lips together as Roan rolls his eyes and tilts us to the side so he can create a path for him to pass. Just as Krew slips past us, he attempts to pull me free and take me with him. Roan grips the back of his shirt with a growl and rips him away, causing Krew to let out a string of curses as he fights for purchase on the stairwell. I’m hoisted up and hugged to Roan’s chest as he takes off up the steps at a dead sprint.

“They’re always after me Lucky Charms,” he grumbles against my neck, making me cackle at his play on my leprechaun comment.

If there’s anyone who’s found an abundance of luck lately, it’s me. And every ounce of it is centered around the five men who’ve brought me back to life. From the moment I was pulled from that cellar, they’ve been a constant and vital part of my new normal. I never imagined a life post Liam, but if I had, this would exceed anything I could’ve dreamt up.

Chapter Forty-Four

Saylor

The power has finally come back on, so we stumble into the main room with all eyes on us. Krew follows a few seconds later, going on and on about how cut-throat I was, taking no prisoners in my quest to win. By his words, no cost is too high. I pin him with a glare and make sure to reiterate that sometimes it’s better to have a clear conscious than a victory under your belt. And then I commence my gloating. Somehow, I managed to take out four of them—though Lochlan was an indirect casualty—despite the fact my aim is horrendous and I’ve never played laser tag a day in my life.

The guys pick at one another, joking about who I like least based on their ‘deaths’. Sadly, Lochlan comes out the winner of that argument. Roan and Krew take our discarded equipment back downstairs as the rest of us discuss dinner plans. The downpour has halted, but it looks temporary based on the dark clouds still hovering. We all agree it’s best not to chance cooking in case there’s another power outage while we’re in the thick of it. Lochlan suggests we fix our own, so I grab a box of Lucky Charms and get to it. Running around, combined with the orgasm I was gifted in the pantry, has my stomach growling for sustenance.

Roan stands across from me, giving my choice of dinner a once over. He does a doubletake when he catches the joke. I smirk at the cocked eyebrow he gives me, shoving a bite in my mouth with a groan of approval. Roan stares at my mouth as he drops a scoop of protein powder in a shaker cup, nearly spilling the milk he adds as he splits his attention between measuring his drink and the explicit way I lick my spoon. There’s a thrill that comes with being the sole focus of someone who’s so overwhelmingly gorgeous.

But the Saylor from before? She would balk at my forwardness. I wouldn’t say the girl I used to be was a prude, but she certainly didn’t lap up affection the way I do now. That girl was sweet and innocent and thrived on approval. She was kind to a fault, and barely stood up for herself. In a lot of ways, I miss her. But I can also appreciate the growth I’ve experienced in her absence. I’ll likely never know the woman I could have been without the interruption of Liam. Maybe I would’ve been meek and reserved, content to live in a shell of my own making. But that’s irrelevant now. My pain and loss have made me who I am, and despite the heartache it took to get here, I happen to like her. This version has the best parts of the old me—her kindness and forgiving nature—mixed with the hardened bits that can only be achieved through tough life lessons.

“Mmmm. They’re magically delicious,” I moan around my food, which quickly turns into a sputtering cough as I laugh at the feral gleam in Roan’s bright green eyes. His pupils are blown so wide there’s barely any iris left. He slams his shake down and vaults across the counter.

I squeal as I stumble off my stool, searching for someone to save me. I glance at Lochlan just as his phone rings. He gives me an apologetic look—which somehow feels like payback for sacrificing him earlier—before stepping through the slider so he can take the call without distraction. Kash is playing Candy Crush, completely oblivious to everything around him, so I sprint across the room and take cover behind Havok. I leap on his back, making him scramble to grip me before we both fall, demanding he keep me safe from the big bad storming after me.

“Give her to me, Kade,” Roan demands, his voice sounding strained and gritty. “She wants to play games, so let’s fucking play, baby girl.” I swallow thickly, keeping my eyes trained on the wall of muscle who has his sights locked on me.

“Did you poke the sexually frustrated bear, Say Baby?” Havok squeezes my thigh, backing us towards the other side of the couch as Roan continues to advance.

“Maybe?” I answer, but we both know I did. I jump as someone grips my hair and tilts my head back.

“Know what I think?” Krew questions seductively, speaking low enough for only the three of us to hear. “I think Tink likes being chased. She enjoys driving us mad with this tight little body of hers. Pushing us to the point we snap and let our dicks lead the charge.” I shift against Havok as my breathing grows heavier.

“Is that right, pretty girl? Do you want us so lost in our need for you that we can’t think straight unless we’re inside you?” Havok’s question goes unanswered because I honestly don’t know. Do I? He steps back, fitting me between him and Krew without an inch of wiggle room. My gaze clashes with Roan’s, worried he’s going to fly off the handle at the position they’ve put me in with him front and center to witness. My thoughts vacate as Kash leap frogs over the sectional, effectively dividing the standoff we have going on.

“I love a good round of keep-away-from-Ro,” Kash states, rubbing his hands together while sporting a maniacal grin. I have no idea why I ever thought he was in his own world and unaware of us. It’s clear by how up to speed he is that he hasn’t missed a thing. “Toss her to me, little brother.” Kash motions for his twin to hand me over, the two of them communicating silently while the rest of us wait with bated breath for whatever they’re planning.

I stiffen as Krew plucks me off Havok’s back, fully anticipating the sinking feeling of being thrown through the air to wash over me, but instead I’m met with the soft cushions of the couch. It doesn’t last long, though. Kash pounces on me—screeching about ‘protecting the asset’—then barrel rolls us both over the back of it. He lands first, taking the full impact of our three-foot fall. I’ve barely caught my breath when he flies up and hoists me over his shoulder. The world blurs as Kash spins us, making me regret my choice of dinner. He’s going to ruin cereal for me if it makes a reappearance. A smile spreads across my face as I take in Roan. Krew and Havok have an arm each, holding him back as he spews a colorful array of all the ways he’s planning to make them regret their choices.

“For someone who sleeps so fucking heavy, you’ve got a lot of nerve, Kade. I’m going to paint your ugly ass in peanut butter and duck-tape you to the bed. Just as you wake, I’ll crack open that ant farm experiment Kash has stored in the bottom of Loch’s safe and let them have at it. A high stake, all-you-can-eat buffet. One accidental bite and it’s anaphylaxis for you.”

“Jesus. That’s morbid, dude,” Krew admonishes, looking at Roan with feigned horror.

“You have an ant farm?” I try to lift my body so I can address Kash properly, but my arms shake from the effort it takes to hold myself up. I flop back down, waiting for his response. I’m aware of Havok’s allergy to the insect. He sat on a whole bed of them in elementary school and had welts all over his legs within minutes.

“Don’t remind me,” Kash answers with a shiver. “It was a failed attempt at overcoming my fear of the crawly types. I swear I could feel them plotting their escape while I slept, forming a tiny, militant ant-army so they could get revenge for their unjust incarceration. But I can’t let them go because they might find their way back and take me out when I least expect it. So, Loch’s safe is the next best thing.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath, willing myself not to outright laugh at his lunacy, but the effort’s in vain.

I’m giggling so hard I hiccup. Kash flips me over and drops me on my feet so abruptly, it makes the room spin. When my eyes refocus, I find him glaring at me, arms crossed and a put-out expression plastered on his face. I press my lips together as the slider opens and Lochlan rejoins the band of crazy he’s amassed. A quick glance in his direction has my shoulders tensing. The levity and joking disappear as I take in the odd look he’s wearing. The guys follow my line of sight, quickly picking up on the same unease as me.

“What’s wrong?” I question, moving around Kash to draw closer to Lochlan. His eyes follow me until I’m just a few feet away. I watch his throat bob as he swallows nervously, but he still doesn’t speak. He’s uncharacteristically detached as he looks beyond me, like he’s not really seeing me at all. “Lochlan?” I try again, starting to panic from his lack of response.

“That was Denvers,” he finally answers. “He called to let us know they found Liam. He’s dead.”

Dead. Liam’s dead.

Those words reverberate inside my head, filling it with so many emotions I can’t separate them. They mix together, making my knees weak as I attempt to sort them. Relief. Anger. Excitement. They’re all present and warring for dominance, leaving me reeling and desperate for solid ground. Just as I think it, the guys close ranks behind me, offering their silent support as I work through the news.