Page 28 of Breakaway

“Sweetheart, you could be knee-deep in cow shit, and you’d still be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen,” I chide, her sarcasm making my cock twitch. Taking advantage of her stunned silence, I voice my observations before she has a chance to interrupt me. “Even so, that doesn’t change the truth of how tired you are; your eyes are bloodshot and framed by dark circles due to a lack of sleep. And somehow, it looks like you’ve lost weight. Which is mind-boggling, considering you have full access to food for the first time in ages. But wonders never cease, I suppose.”

“Wow…” Andi mumbles, her gaze fixated on the windshield as she presses two fingertips against her temple. “I can’t decide if you’re purposely insulting me, or if you’re simply inept at getting your point across respectfully. Either way, I appreciate your concern, but I rely heavily on the mundane routine we’ve fallen into. So if my being here is becoming a problem for you, I can find something else to occupy my time.”

“I never said that,” I snap hotly, pissed that she’d consider ditching me for anything but sleep. “But that doesn’t mean you’re not pouring from an empty cup. Figure out what the problem is so I can fix it. You need to say something if Briggs staying the night is making you too uncomfortable to get some decent rest. Trust me, I’d take great pleasure in telling him to fuck off.”

“He’s not the issue,” Andi whispers, the quiet sound magnified by the confined space of the cab. “Honestly, it’s not any one thing. It’s everything. Tobias’ trial. Seth and Hudson. But there’s more I haven’t spoken about with any of you, and I’m not ready to. I’m grateful to have you guys, to have support, because the same can’t be said for everyone who was freed that day. I can’t imagine how difficult the past six weeks would have been to navigate if I was left to my own devices. I didn’t expect smooth sailing, but the ride’s been rougher than I thought it’d be.”

I nod in understanding, unsure of what to say that wouldn’t paint me in a negative light. I heard everything she said, but my brain is fixated on what she chose to omit from her list of worries. I’m like a dog with a bone when it comes to the unknown, and that overbearing, ego-fueled side of me that’s suddenly sprung into existence wants to demand she fill in the missing pieces so I have the entire picture to analyze. Thankfully, logic prevails before I can stick my foot in my mouth and give Andi’s reason for holding back any more validation.

“Let’s go.”

I quickly end the conversation and exit the vehicle, sensing her threshold for prying is at its limit. Andi follows suit, patiently waiting on the sidewalk as I rummage through my gym bag. When I find what I’m looking for, I close the space between us and deftly tug the hair-tie from her ponytail. Her sputtered scoff makes my mouth quirk to the side, but I bite back the smirk teasing my lips in favor of not having her kneecap greet my balls. I use my fingers to brush Andi’s soft, waist-length strands into place before adding my beanie, then step back to admire my handiwork.

“Don’t give me that look. Your cute little ears would be icicles in no time if you kept your hair up.” I shoulder my bag and take off towards the field, my pulse thrumming rapidly from having my hands on her, even innocently.

“Holy shit,” she feigns surprise. “It seems you can articulate what you’re thinking. Could’ve fooled me, with all your silent manhandling and that do-as-I–please attitude.”

“Careful, smartass.” I cut my eyes toward hers, my smile growing devilish when she meets my warning with a glare of annoyance. “You’re going to give me a big head if you keep tossing out compliments like that. Now, sit.” I point to the bleachers, dropping my shit to the bottom bench when Andi flops down with a huff. I place the bag of donuts in her lap, glad I thought to grab them after our talk turned heated. “The rest of these are yours, so I expect you to eat them all. And be careful with that coffee; it’s way too hot.”

“Am I a joke to you?” Andi gripes, her monotone delivery causing me to chuckle. “I’m not sure when I became an invalid, but thank you oh so much, you big, strong man, for keeping me from certain death. How on earth did I ever survive without you?” Her lashes flutter, a sugary sweet smile forming as she mocks my need to control any and all outside forces that might cause her harm, right down to the fucking air she breathes.

“You think I’m big and strong, huh?” The cocky grin stretching across my face causes her eyes to roll, but our moment is interrupted before I can contemplate teasing her some more.

“About damn time, Coach!” Hawkins calls out, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he tries to stimulate some blood flow. “It’s so cold, my balls are shriveled up like raisins.”

“Language,” I half-ass scold the lanky tight end. “And we both know your balls never dropped; therefore, you have nothing to shrivel.”

The team cracks up at his expense, but ribbing is a rite of passage among football players. I glance back at Andi, my silence relaying my thoughts loud and clear. She takes an exaggerated bite of her donut, moaning indecently for shits and giggles. Two can play that game, Butterfly. I blatantly rearrange my dick, satisfaction licking at my insides when she chokes a bit from shock. I wink and sprint off to get practice started, albeit forty minutes late.

We spend the next half-hour stretching and running through a few drills. But try as I might, my attention isn’t where it needs to be. Like they have a mind of their own, my eyes keep wandering to the beauty seated on the bleachers. I would’ve killed to have someone like her in the stands cheering me on, but my glory days are long gone. The closest I’ll ever get to realizing that dream is training future players to surpass the records I set, and I’m genuinely happy with the status quo. I harbor no resentment about my thwarted plans. Things happened the way they were meant to.

“Hypothetically,” Michaels pants, coming to a stop beside me. He bends in half, bracing his hands on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. “What are the odds of a girl like that going for a guy like me?” I track his gaze, my jaw clenching in anger when it leads me to Andi. “I mean, I’ve always had a thing for older women, and something tells me she’d be worth the risk of rejection.” Slowly, I turn my body to face the paunchy little shit eyeing Andi like a piece of meat.

“Michaels,” I start, my voice deceptively calm. “I’m only going to say this once, so listen good, you little fuckstain. If you so much as look in her direction ever again with anything other than the respect she deserves motivating your intrigue, I’m going to run you for so long you shit yourself. And then I’ll make you eat it.” His eyes flare wide with panic as he stumbles back a step. “Hypothetically, of course,” I tack on for legal purposes. Andi isn’t here to play the part of eye candy for some horny high-schooler, and I’ll be damned if anyone ruins the place she escapes to when she needs to decompress.

I call it quits shortly after threatening Michaels, my mood plummeting with the realization that I’ve resorted to divvying out warning shots to teenagers. In my defense, they give as good as they get. I’ve been on the receiving end of their taunts too many times to count, but that tired-ass saying of those who can’t do, teach lost its effectiveness years ago. If I couldn’t do, I wouldn’t have been hired to teach in the first place. Honestly, I’m shocked I haven’t been fired yet, because the only way to combat these assholes is to be the bigger asshole.

My day only gets shittier with every hour that passes. From the moment I dropped Andi off at Raiden’s apartment, it’s been one thing after another. I spilled my protein shake on the drive to work this morning, and then Meri-Beth, the holier-than-thou art teacher who can’t take a hint, cornered me in the break room, questioning me about my weekend plans. If I pursued a female staff member in the same relentless manner, I’d be an HR complaint by the end of the workday. As if things couldn’t get worse, I had the pleasure of teaching an entire classroom of fifteen-year-olds all about sexually transmitted infections. Maybe time has distorted my memory, but I don’t recall being so goddamn insufferable when I was their age.

I’m spent when I finally make it home, my feet dragging as I push inside our apartment. Between Col and me, I’m typically the first one home, and today’s no different. Who knows where Briggs is or what kind of shit he gets up to during the day. He pays his portion of the mortgage every month, so I try to keep the peace as best I can. I learned the hard way how badly it hurts to care for someone who doesn’t give a shit about themselves. Too many times I fell victim to my mother’s lies and empty promises because I was too naive to know any better.

She’d make her way back to the trailer park she hailed from every few months, pretending to be a changed woman. It was the same song and dance every time, her insisting she’d returned with good intentions to fix her laundry list of fuck-ups. But she couldn’t keep the ruse up long enough to kick her coke habit. So, inevitably, I’d wake one morning to find her gone, along with anything of mine or Pops that was worth pawning. The saddest part is that I fell for her bullshit repeatedly, so desperate for her to choose me over getting high that I became complicit in my own destruction.

Every time she disappeared without so much as a goodbye, I grew a little more jaded. I doubt my mother even gave parenting a fair shot before shirking her responsibility, not giving a single shit that her father was on a fixed income and past his prime. But Pops never made me feel like I wasn’t welcome, and if it weren’t for him, I’d still loathe the woman who birthed me. As hard as it was to have an addict for a parent, I can’t imagine how painful it was for Pop to watch his only child waste away.

He taught me countless life lessons over the years, but the day he sat me down and explained the ins and outs of addiction is something I think about often. Because of him, I no longer blame myself or wonder why I wasn’t good enough to make her stay. Anyone who’s ever been in that position is painfully familiar with feeling like they’re lacking something crucial that makes them lovable. It took me a while to come to terms with it, but I now realize it was never anything I did or didn’t do. Somewhere along the way, my mother lost pieces of herself and chose to fill those empty spaces with drugs.

I don’t resent her with the ferocity that I used to, and I’ve accepted that she was incapable of being the parent I needed her to be. Maybe the crumbs I’ve been given over the years were all she could offer. I haven’t lacked love or affection, and who knows what could have happened to me if she hadn’t left me with Pops. Col certainly thinks he would’ve been better off if his mom had done the same. It took too many years for him to pry his way out from under her thumb, but guilt and misplaced loyalty kept him at her beck and call long after she took her final breath.

If nothing else, my past was eye-opening, and that’s exactly why I keep Briggs at arm’s length. He’s toeing the line of no return, and as much as I sympathize with everything he’s been through, I can’t go down that road again. When people show you who they are, believe them. I have no doubt he’s capable of changing, but he’s the only one who can decide if and when that happens. Until then, my stance remains the same. I refuse to tie myself to a sinking ship, but for Andi’s sake, I really hope he gets his shit together. I won’t stand by and watch her shoulder the weight of his baggage when he’s too selfish to be burdened with it himself.

18

Andilyn

After freezing my ass off yesterday morning, I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the day bundled beneath the plush down comforter on Raiden’s bed. I passed the time by watching mindless TV shows, giving my brain some much-needed rest. At some point during the night, I thought I heard the door open, but I was sleeping too soundly to care. It was likely Briggs, who clearly has no reservations about coming and going as he pleases. By some miracle, I’ve slept till noon, but I can’t deny my body needed it. I hate to admit Dayton was right, but I’ve been running on fumes as of late, the extra cargo I’m carrying depleting my energy far faster than normal.

Extracting myself from the covers, I tiptoe across the icy floor to adjust the temperature on the thermostat. It’s an old building, and I hate to think of how pricey it is to heat such a drafty space during the winter months. I make my way towards the bathroom and start the shower so the water has time to warm up. Once I’ve stripped myself bare, I can’t help but stare at the reflection of a body I no longer recognize, trying my hardest to wrap my head around how rapidly things are changing.