Page 34 of Breakaway

“Let’s play it by ear for now,” I insist, unable to commit to anything until I’ve laid eyes on Seth.

“Sounds good. My schedule is completely open, so it’s up to you if we go or not. No pressure either way.” Colsen flashes me a smile, tossing his wrapper in the trash. I watch him unabashedly as he goes about tidying up the kitchen, intrigued by the easygoing persona he exudes. He’s due a haircut, but the shaggy look and perpetual five-o-clock shadow tend to work in his favor.

I’ve spent the least amount of time with him, but there’s something about his sincerity, how careful and perceptive he is when the two of us are in the same vicinity, that piques my curiosity. Colsen’s steady calmness is a nice contrast to his two roommates’ more abrasive personalities. Briggs steamrolled his way into my life and home, temporary or not, and Dayton likes to bark orders at me instead of using his big words. Raiden, on the other hand, has been my constant from the very start. I wouldn’t know any of them if it weren’t for him. He took me at my word, his morsel of faith giving me the chance I needed to finally fight for the future I wanted. He gave me back the voice that was taken from me, and I can never repay that. Regardless of where life takes us, he’ll always be an integral part of my story.

“Seth is five minutes out,” Raiden states, pocketing his phone after reading the message that just came through.

“I’ll get Hudson ready.” I round the island and grab a diaper from the meager stack we’re left with, colliding with Dayton as I turn to leave.

“Open,” he demands, a small piece of his breakfast sandwich pinched between his fingers.

“Human,” I deadpan, pointing a finger at my chest for visual effect.

“Okay?”

“Oh, I’m sorry. You seemed to be confused when demanding I open my mouth like a dog. I thought you might need clarification.” I smile sweetly, my tone drenched in sarcasm. Someone snorts–likely Briggs–but Dayton gives me a flat stare, completely unamused by my smart remark.

“Butterfly,” he starts, his eyes rounding with feigned sincerity. “Could you pretty please try this piece of sausage I saved especially for you?” Annoyed by his persistence, I lean forward and snag the piece of food with my teeth, narrowly missing Dayton’s fingers in the process. He huffs a laugh, dipping his head down to speak quietly against my ear. “I can assure you, it most definitely isn’t safe with you around.” He steps back, making a point of rearranging his dick. Again. This is apparently becoming a thing with him.

I roll my eyes, refusing to let his words affect me, or at least not in an obvious way for him to gloat about for the rest of eternity, then head towards the bedroom to wake Hudson. He’s sprawled across the bed, his heavy breaths revealing how deeply he’s sleeping. I quickly change his diaper, shocked he doesn’t stir from being jostled around. My eyes skate over him, a smile quirking my lips at how peaceful he looks. It takes a bit more effort than it did a few weeks ago, but I manage to lift him on my own. Things that were simple last month now require a warm-up stretch, so I hate to know how difficult life is going to get during the final stretch of this pregnancy.

I take a seat on the edge of the bed, soaking up a few extra minutes with Hudson. I snuggle him closer, wondering how it’s possible to get such an endorphin high from cradling a sleeping toddler. I was never exposed to babies before Veritas, but even then, kids this young were born at the compound, not snatched off the streets. We never crossed paths with them, not until a Claiming took place and they were officially given a position of power, continuing their parents’ twisted legacies. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, placing a gentle kiss on Hudson’s cheek. When I finally pry them open, Briggs is standing by the door, hands in his pockets and feet crossed, leaning against the dresser as he watches me closely.

“This sucks.” I can feel my chin start to wobble, so I tuck my bottom lip between my teeth to distract myself from the tears stinging my eyes.

“What does?” he asks, his calm demeanor unmoved by the emotion clogging my throat.

“I have to give Hudson back, but I’m not convinced that Seth is actually well enough to take care of himself, much less his son. It’s not my place to say anything, and I’m scared if I question him, he won’t bother to call next time. Or worse, he’ll cut me out of their lives entirely. I’ve had to bite my tongue so many times over the past decade, I’m surprised I still have one. And yet, none of those instances were as difficult to pull off as this is going to be.” I tilt my head back and stare at the ceiling, refusing to leave this room red-eyed and visibly upset.

“Angel,” Briggs coaxes, his voice much closer than it was just a moment ago. I drop my gaze, finding him right in front of me, his hand reaching out for mine. My fingers graze his as he twines them together and helps me to my feet. “I’d like to state for the record that I wholeheartedly disagree. If anyone has the right to call Seth’s parenting into question, it’s you. He can’t rely on you as heavily as he is and not make some concessions. But–” He places a finger over my lips when I start to protest, cutting me off before I have the chance to say a single word. “I also respect your decision to say nothing at all. It’s an odd position to be in, and whether you realize it or not, your mama bear instincts are starting to kick in. Some things are instinctual, and it’s very obvious that nurturing comes second nature to you.” There’s a scoff on the tip of my tongue, but I reel it in, knowing it’s pointless to argue with Briggs.

“Andi?” Raiden calls from the other side of the door. “Seth is here.”

“Be right there,” Briggs answers on my behalf, his gaze tracking the way my arms tighten around Hudson imperceptibly.

“If you walk out there holding him like you are, this secret of yours is going to be rather obvious.” His hand cups my stomach, the curvature of my bump on full display when I glance at the mirror behind him.

Hudson is practically propped up on it, and anyone with eyes is going to notice if he stays in this position. Reluctantly, I hand him to Briggs, giving his cheek another kiss before we exit the bedroom. My eyes find Seth immediately, homing in on the way he refuses to look up, his attention focused on the floor. His lips are pressed in a grim line as he shuffles from foot to foot, the act completely out of place on such an imposing man. He takes Hudson without saying a word to anyone, but stops beside me, still refusing to meet my eye, and rests his hand against my head.

I imagine a thousand different scenarios of what he’s thinking about at this very moment, of what he’s trying to convey but can’t get his tongue to form what he needs it to. Shame rolls off of him in waves, and as much as I want to lash out and berate him for being so irresponsible, the last thing he needs is to be scolded. Especially in front of everyone. It’s obvious his tail is tucked between his legs. I take a steadying breath and grip his wrist, leaving him to interpret my touch however he sees fit. I refuse to tell Seth that his actions are okay, or even justified, in the midst of everything he’s going through.

I don’t know much about being a parent, but I do know that when you bring a child into the world, your priorities shift in an instant. Your needs come second to theirs, so as much as I sympathize with Seth’s heartbreak, his child should always take precedence. Every single time. He needs stability, not the fault line Seth has them teetering on with the threat of an earthquake looming on the horizon. He steps away from me, breaking our connection, and gives a single nod to Raiden before slipping out the door. I clench my hands, so I’m not tempted to reach for Hudson, the effort it takes to let them leave without any pushback making my stomach dip with a mixture of nausea and trepidation.

“He smelt like a brewery,” I mumble absently, still staring at the door, my heart clinging to the hope that they’ll walk back through it. My mind, however, conjures up a slew of nightmarish possibilities. Like Seth behind the wheel, inebriated, trying to make the two-hour drive to his home without incident.

“He was breathalyzed,” Raiden assures me, my gaze cutting to his as a rush of relief floods my system. “I wouldn’t have let him leave with Hudson if he was still under the influence. I’m sorry he put you in this position, sweetheart. It’s a slap in the face to abuse your kindness the way he did last night, and trust me when I say he fully understands the severity of his fuck up.”

“I’ll give you that, Detective.” Dayton laughs, his eyes brimming with mischief. “You’ve got some balls of steel staring down a man who could bury you without breaking a sweat. Broken as said man is, he’s still a Green Beret. You must have a death wish or a serious case of delusion where your combative skills are concerned.”

“I have neither of those.” Raiden’s intense stare pins me to the spot, his response directed at Dayton, but the words are meant for me. “But I do have protective instincts, and they seem to disregard any and all threats to my own well-being when it comes to the people I care about.” Dayton lets out a low whistle, a hint of respect reflected in the appraising look he aims at Raiden. “And I also had the fact that Seth was painfully hungover on my side,” he jokes, bringing some levity to the moment. But I’d be willing to bet that Seth’s sobriety had little to do with Raiden’s willingness to give him an earful. Something tells me it’s an inherent part of his nature to stand up to injustices, regardless of how trivial they are.

“Give me a few minutes to get ready, and we can head out,” I announce, looking at Colsen. A quick glance at the clock reveals it’s mid-morning, and I hate that we’ve lost so much of the day already.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Colsen eyes me warily, searching for a reason to keep us here.

“Positive.” My reply is firm, leaving no room for debate. “I need to keep busy so I’m not obsessing over Seth and Hudson all day. I’m sure Rita has plenty of tasks on her to-do list that will help me accomplish that.”

“If that’s what it takes to clear your head, then that’s what we’ll do. Rita certainly won’t deny the extra help.” His smile is faint, but he doesn’t question me any further.