Page 63 of Crimson Love

I frown. “I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about you.”

She tries to twist her wrists out of my grip, but I hold firm.

I shake my head. “We’re not making this decision tonight. We could’ve died. I’m not the kind of asshole who will take advantage of you right now.”

“Please.”

“I’ve had a lot of experiences, but I’ve never had to hold a woman at arm’s length who was begging me for sex.”

She looks up at me through those thick lashes. I swear, she bats them a few times. “But this is going to happen eventually. I feel it, and I know you can too. Why wait?”

I take her wrists wrapped up in my hand and lift to press them to the wall over her head. “Because second thoughts and regrets are shit. If I were to ever be one of those to you, I’d hate myself.”

Her eyes fall shut, and her body slumps.

I call for her. “Baby.”

She opens her eyes. “How many ways do you plan to turn me down?”

I lean in to kiss her before pulling her arms from the wall, but I don’t let go. I turn her so her back is against my chest again and press my groin into her ass. “Do you feel that? That is not the cock of a man who is pleased to turn you down. I’m so fucking hard for you, I’ll have blue balls into next week at this point. But when I take you for the first time, it’s not going to be because Petrov hired someone to kill you, and your head isn’t clear. I want you to be sure.”

She turns her head to peek up at me. It kills me to see disappointment laced in her features. Even so, she sinks into my chest, and I swipe the underside of her breast with my thumb.

“I’m sorry that happened. I don’t ever want you to be scared when you’re with me.”

She pulls in a trembled breath and nods.

I put my lips to her temple and kiss my way down the side of her face until I land below her ear. “Do you want me to do something about that?”

Her eyes fly open. “But you just said —”

“Shhh.” My hands start to roam but stay in the semi-safe zone. “No sex tonight. But I can do other things. I can relax you and make you forget. I’ll make you come so hard, you’ll feel like you were transported to another universe.”

Her dark eyes angle up to me in question.

I claim her mouth with mine again. “Let me do that for you. I’ll make you forget, even if it is just for a little while. Then we’ll sleep. Tomorrow will be a new day. A day of reckoning for you.”

Her head falls back on my chest.

“Lennon,” I call for her. “Tell me what you want.”

She turns to me. “There’s nothing more that I want than to forget.”

Lennon

D esperation isn’t a good look, but I don’t care. When that semi hit Jett’s truck tonight, I thought everything I’ve gone through to get to this point was for nothing.

Six years of hell.

Six years lost.

Living with myself as a murderer...

All for nothing.

Of course the first man I meet after all that is too honorable to be like, you wanna finally have sex for the first time at the ripe old age of twenty-five? Sure, I’ll be happy to check that off your list for you.

“Yes,” I repeat the thought I screamed in my head. “If you’re going to make me say it, I’m not ashamed. Right now, I’m desperate for anything with you.”