Page 66 of Catching Feelings

There’s nothing there between us—on either side. But now that the air is cleared, we can be friends again for real. And if he’s serious about being serious this time, well… he’ll make someone really lucky. Having that playfulness and humility coupled with real devotion would knock any girl off her feet.

I snort, the tenderness of the moment too much to bear. “You think?”

Ryan’s lips twitch in a suppressed smile. And then we’re both howling with laughter, bent over at the side of the road.

Yeah. There are a lot of problems still to fix, but right now it feels like things might actually end up okay.

29. TYLER

The occasional car swooshing past, headlights sweeping over us, is no distraction at all from the conversation happening just a few yards down the road. I cross my arms over my chest, shivering underneath my hoodie.

If only I had a letter jacket to layer over it.

The thought makes me glance at Ryan and Sabrina again. Just checking on them. I’ve kept my back turned for most of their conversation to give them privacy, but I’m poised to intervene if things get weird or she starts looking uncomfortable in any way. I watch as she crosses and uncrosses her arms, tilts her head up to look at him defiantly, takes a step forward and raises her voice to a level where I can almost make out her words. And then Ryan… sinks to his knees? What, is he getting revenge by proposing? That’s the moment I’m most tempted to step forward, fists clenching and unclenching at my side, eyes flicking over their posture vigilantly—

And then they laugh, and Ryan stands up, and something in Sabrina’s posture relaxes. Something I hadn’t even realized she’d been holding on to as long as I’ve known her.

That lets me relax too. When they drift back toward me, conversation concluded, Ryan gives me a little nod.

Good. I’m glad they made amends. Even if I don’t know where Sabrina and I stand anymore, I didn’t want to mess something up between them. Didn’t want to break something else in Hamilton Lakes.

The three of us stand in the quiet for a minute. I wonder if they’re thinking about things broken and mended, too.

I turn to Sabrina, and her eyes immediately flick over to me. As if she’s been monitoring my posture and presence just as carefully as I’ve been monitoring hers. She’s swallowed up by my jacket, and I’m not cold at all anymore when I see her swaddled in it. I open my mouth, trying to find the right words to say I’m sorry—whatever words Ryan found to make her laugh again—but then a new set of headlights pins us, and Ryan sends up a celebratory cheer.

The tow truck is here.

Saved.

I shove down my disappointment and frustration and step forward to help. While Sabrina talks to one of the drivers about the problems with her car (“I know, I know, but it’s lasted this long!”), I supervise the one hooking it up to the tow.

In no time at all, they’re pulling off down the road, Sabrina’s car disappearing into the fog. It feels almost anticlimactic, after so many weeks of performing rituals to make sure it starts and jumping the engine in the worst possible circumstances.

Sabrina waves sadly beside me. “Goodbye, cursed clunker. I hope we meet again soon.”

We stand there in respectful silence for a moment until Ryan clears his throat and jerks a thumb over his shoulder. “So… anyone else wanna get home?”

I’m even more grateful than usual for Ryan’s endless patter as we pile into his car. I give Sabrina the passenger seat and slide into the back while he starts talking about the homecoming game, and the English essay he has to write, and for some reason the life span of blue whales.

I make a few affirming noises whenever it seems called for, but I’m preoccupied by staring at the back of Sabrina’s head. It’s torture to be riding in a car where I can’t touch her. The last time we were driving together, my hand was encircling her thigh, my fingers were in her hair, my lips were pressed to the curve of her neck—

She’s not even wearing a ribbon tonight. Just a utilitarian hairband in her ponytail. Even her hair looks limp and dejected instead of optimistic and bouncy.

My stomach flutters at the signs that not all is well with the usually unbothered queen of Hamilton Lakes.

The thought of Sabrina believing the rumors she heard stings, but… I never really gave her the chance to believe anything different. I should’ve told her the whole story when she asked for it instead of portioning out half-truths, afraid she’d judge me if she knew everything.

I wish I’d trusted her more than that. I wish I’d believed she could be different from everyone back home.

I stare at the nape of her neck that I’m not allowed to touch, the ponytail I’m not allowed to release—and all I can think is that I messed up.

Ryan clears his throat in the driver’s seat, and I crash back into the present moment. “So, um. I know I have the gift of gab and everything, but there’s only so long a guy can hold up a one-sided conversation. This is… awkward, right?”

I almost laugh from the sheer audacity of it. “What made you think that, Ryan?”

He shrugs, oblivious. “Sabrina and I talked! There’s no reason for it to be awkward anymore! We’re cool! She taught me the error of my ways!” He pauses, and his eyes find mine in the rearview mirror, widening. “Unless… hang on a sec. Are you two fighting? Three days ago you had your hands all over each other in my foyer—which I’ll never forget, by the way, you owe me laundry duty for a few weeks, bro—and honestly, if I hadn’t walked in when I did, I’m afraid there would’ve been a lot more than hands involved, if you know what I mea—”

“Stop!” I hurry to cut him off before he can go any further with that image. The back of Sabrina’s neck is turning red, but the pure panic in my voice startles a laugh out of her. The first one I’ve heard in days.