Page 13 of Head Over Skis

It’s why we’re in this situation in the first place. I fall backwards onto the cushions on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. What am I supposed to do now? So, he was telling the truth about it being a one-time thing, but that doesn’t change the fact he did it. And now we’re stuck here in the middle of nowhere in the same chalet and if he’s going to keep trying it on, I know he’ll reel me back in. I don’t want to accept that the last seven years have been for nothing.

‘All I want is to have a nice, peaceful holiday,’ I say, pushing back up onto my elbows, and soaking in the quiet joy of being surrounded by a circle of my favourite people. ‘We barely get to hang out any more.’

Everyone nods, happy to be in one place despite the drama, because it’s true. We’re so rarely all together these days. David works for this super cool estate agency and spends half the year selling properties up and down the country, Meghan’s always jetting off for photoshoots and fashion weeks, and Tilly’s busy working any of the three jobs she has whilst trying to make it to acting auditions. Lucas spends all his free time in the kitchen, working to quit his job in catering and open his own restaurant, and Adam works the world’s longest hours at a hedge fund doing a job I still fail to accurately describe.

And then there’s me.

A fully chartered accountant at a mid-size firm, working a job that’s, well, it’s fine. A work-to-live sort of job, not like a career in art would’ve been, which I let myself entertain the idea of for a time. But that’s in the past.

My point is, we all live such different lives now. We’re not a few doors away down a student accommodation corridor any more, so being here all together is special, and I don’t want anything to get in the way of it.

‘Okay so, what’s the plan?’ I ask, hoping someone’s got one.

‘The mornings will be the easiest, at least for the first week,’ Tilly says. ‘You, Meghan and I will be in ski school from ten till one, with only each other as witnesses to how many times we fall on our butts.’

‘Nah, we’ll have you on reds by mid-week and blacks by week two, I guarantee it,’ David says, bumping his shoulder against mine, before moving to pat Tilly on the shoulder. She swerves away before he can, looking at him like he’s insane, and I suppress a laugh.

Fat chance of me on a red slope. Remembering that I’m booked onto a week of ski school does make me feel marginally better though.

I hear the front door opening, and then Adam’s laugh echoes from the kitchen.

‘Sounds like they’re back, you ready to head out there?’ Tilly’s hand rests on my knee as I take a deep breath, knowing I don’t really have a choice.

‘I’ll be fine,’ I say, pushing myself up off the bed and following the others into the living room.

Lucas, unsurprisingly, is already getting started in the kitchen, laying out the ingredients they’ve bought, as well as some fancy things I don’t recognise that he must’ve brought with him in his suitcase. As I round the corner, Adam is sitting on the sofa, the seat next to him noticeably empty. He sees me staring at it, and shuffles further over, giving me ample space. I hesitate, not sure how much alone time I want with him right now, but it would be rude to walk away. In the end, I don’t think I have any other choice than to make my way over.

‘Nice place, huh?’ He gestures around the room after I’ve sat down, and I take that as my chance to look at the walls and not straight at him.

‘Yeah, I’d hope so given how much we’re paying.’

I almost bailed when Lucas first sent us the price, but it turns out there isn’t a cheap way to do a ski holiday.

Adam leans in, and I feel myself sit up straighter, unsure whether to move towards or away from him. ‘Wanna place bets on how long it takes David to start speculating how much this place would cost to buy?’

I’m about to tell him that’s a silly game, even though it’s been one of our favourites to play since David started his job four years ago.

But I don’t get the chance to. The next second, David comes into view, sliding his hand along the wooden beam above the balcony doorway and letting out a long whistle. ‘This is some high-spec wood, maybe southern pine. That’ll increase the value for sure.’

He mutters to himself some more before moving away again, one hand on his chin as he inspects the rest of the room.

Adam can’t hide his smug smile as he raises his eyebrows. I try so hard not to laugh, not wanting to give him the satisfaction, but I can’t help it and end up in a giggling fit. I rock over towards him, my shoulder brushing his, and his chest shakes as he laughs along with me. For a second, everything feels light, normal, and that sensation gives me pause.

This natural ease could be dangerous so early, so I call out to Lucas in the kitchen to ask if he needs any help. He must realise I’m silently screaming SOS because he would usually refuse immediately on the grounds that I’m an awful cook, but he beckons me over and gives me an easy task.

Later, when Adam is chatting to the others while we finish plating everything up, I try not to let my heart melt as we catch sight of one another, and his whole countenance lights up like I’m the only person he sees in the room.

It’s only been one night, and already I start to think it’ll take something big to stop me from letting myself fall back into the comfort of this again.

I try not to check my phone, knowing I won’t be happy when it reveals how late it is. It must be past two a.m., and the room is lit with a dark blue glow thanks to the skylight cut into the ceiling above me. Out of the little square I can make out more stars than I can normally count in the entire London sky. It makes me want to throw open the curtains and discover how many more there are with an uninterrupted view, but I don’t want to disturb Tilly. Her snoring lets me know she’s doing a much better job of sleeping than I am.

I shut my eyes again and clear my head. I try to picture my mind as a blank canvas, thinking that if I can achieve that, I’ll be asleep in no time. Not long after, close to drifting off with my body sinking further into the mattress and my eyelids becoming heavy, an image pops into my head that has me jolting awake.

‘What the…’ I mutter, sitting up and shaking my head in an attempt to clear it. No more of that.

After a minute, I lie back down and try again, but like before, when I’m tipping into sleep, my subconscious replays the memory of two strong hands caressing my skin. Of kisses against my neck, and of the chiselled lines of a body I can still picture in full detail. Of a face belonging to a man I’ve thought about more times that I care to admit since we met, only twenty-four hours ago.

Rory.