Page 33 of Hate You to Love You

‘It must have been comforting to have that support, especially when you were getting so much rejection from publishers,’ I say, eager to keep the conversation going.

‘It was. And that’s the part of my story that I know is important. Everyone knows about how I submitted to every publisher or how I got rejection after rejection. They like to talk about how my books blew up overnight. But they forget about the way the little things in your life and the people you meet shape the journey you go on. And when you lose that…’

Claudia pauses to let out a breath.

‘… Well, when you lose what really matters in your life, everything else seems utterly pointless. Reflecting on that after all these years has changed how I see my own story.’

‘How do you see it?’

‘As a love story.’

I lean forward, intrigued. ‘A love story?’

As if suddenly realising she has said too much, Claudia places her palms flat on the table and seizes the drinks menu. ‘Perhaps we need a drink?’ she says abruptly, ending the conversation. ‘And then we can discuss the tour.’

The mention of Stephen now feels like a cruel tease. But this is a start, I tell myself. There’s something that Claudia has been hiding, a confession that she clearly wants to share on her own terms – and I’m going to be ready when she does.

For the next couple of hours, we eat bar snacks and Elliot and Claudia drink cocktails while I take notes. Her posture is slightly more relaxed, and her tone of voice shifts into something that’s calmer. It’s like being in this location has completely broken down the barrier between me and her innermost thoughts. She’s in the middle of letting me in on more details about how she took herself away to the Blue Mountains to write These Days when I consider telling her about the notebook. But for once, I’m finally one step ahead of her. So I decide to keep this card close to my chest. Who knows when I’ll need to use it again.

I attempt to steer the conversation back to Stephen, to find out more about how he fits into her story, but she moves the conversation back to her writing. Eventually, Claudia checks the time on her phone and announces that she has to go. I watch as Elliot orders a taxi for her, and they both exit the bar.

Alone, I hastily pack up my belongings. But when I emerge from the bar onto the street, I notice Elliot waving Claudia’s taxi off.

‘You’re not going with her?’ I ask, surprised. I had assumed Elliot would ferry Claudia to wherever she was going next.

‘I need to pick up an outfit for our get-together tomorrow night.’

My face scrunches up a little. ‘We don’t have anything scheduled tomorrow,’ I point out.

‘It’s something for an old friend,’ he says.

My smile drops. Old friend. There was only one group of friends that Elliot could possibly be seeing. ‘Please don’t tell me you’re coming to Laney’s engagement drinks tomorrow,’ I groan.

He spins around, walking down the street. ‘I guess I’ll see you there.’

chapter fourteen

then

It’s only been a few weeks since we watched Serendipity at the Golden Age, but Elliot is quickly becoming someone I can’t imagine not talking to. Moment by moment, thread by thread, he’s weaving his way into my life.

We’d started spending our Wednesday nights watching romantic comedies at The Terrace. I’d already showed him Notting Hill for the first time, and he’d admired Julia Roberts’ declaration of love to Hugh Grant. Elliot showed me But I’m a Cheerleader after teasing me that I hadn’t realised that MUNA’s ‘Silk Chiffon’ music video was a reference to that movie. He’s left inspired by the empowering tone of Legally Blonde and I’m on the verge of crying after we watch Before Sunrise because I know how the sequels turn out.

With each movie we watch, we start to share more with each other. It’s fascinating getting to know the little things about him. I learn that he hates the beach and the way sand sticks to you everywhere when we watch the opening scene of Sweet Home Alabama. He tells me that he’s never have a croque monsieur when we watch It’s Complicated, because he prefers his food to be simple and without theatrics. I let him know that Pride and Prejudice is my favourite book when we rewatch You’ve Got Mail and Meg Ryan’s character stands up to Tom Hanks’s character about it. We also listen to a playlist of 2000s hits when I confess that it’s my favourite genre of music after watching She’s the Man.

There are deeper things that we talk about too. While watching 27 Dresses late one night, I confess that I see myself in Katherine Heigl’s character because I also survive with the hope that the right person will come along at the right time. I tell Elliot that this is why I’ve always been okay with never having dated anyone. Loving someone in that way was a brave and wonderful thing to do. I’d rather wait for the right time and the right person. It’s during the scene in The Holiday, when Cameron Diaz explains the three musketeers story, that Elliot launches into questions about my childhood. I share what I love about Burwood: the food, friendly people and unique shops. And he tells me stories of growing up right on the outskirts of the city.

Sometimes we go for dinner after the movie ends. Tonight, Elliot has brought me to a little Italian place in Leichhardt. My stomach is full of pizza, red wine buzzing through my veins.

‘Do you want to take a walk?’ Elliot asks after we’ve paid our bill.

‘Yeah,’ I say. ‘I’d like that.’

Out on Norton Street, he stops, turns and waves his hand towards a building opposite us. ‘There’s something I want to show you.’

He leads me down the street and into a small arcade, full of empty shopfronts. After climbing a set of stairs, we find ourselves on a balcony. It overlooks an empty forum that resembles a miniature town square. Around it, spaces that were clearly once filled with shops and restaurants now lie vacant, faded ‘For Lease’ signs on the windows. The concrete fountain in the middle of the forum is cracked, with weeds bursting out on all sides.

Elliot rests up against the edge of the balcony. ‘My family used to come here for dinner all the time,’ he says. ‘My parents are both surgeons, so their schedules were pretty erratic. And I lost track of how many extracurriculars my brother and sister used to do after school. But Friday nights here at the forum – that was the one thing we always did together.’