Page 56 of Hate You to Love You

‘Go where?’

‘See the sights. Do The Great Rom-Com Pilgrimage.’

I laugh softly. ‘Sure, let’s just go on a trip. Forget all about work, rent and our lack of money.’

Elliot leans in close to me and places a hand on my upper thigh. ‘I’m serious, Carlos. What if we spend the next few months saving? We can make a plan to see as many sights on this bucket list as possible. Your Mum and Dad will love the idea.’

‘You’d really take a trip just to see these places from the movies?’

‘If it matters to you, it matters to me.’

‘We’re really going to do this?’

‘You’ve always told me to go after what I want in life. Maybe this is a reminder that you can do it too.’ He squeezes my leg in encouragement.

‘Together?’ I ask hesitantly.

‘Together.’

chapter twenty-five

now

Our final day in London is spent following Claudia around as she visits a select number of independent bookstores, signing copies of These Days. While an unusual decision for an author at her level, Elliot was adamant that her appearances at these stores would do wonders for her image. First we hit Goldsboro Books, where Claudia has exclusive hardcover editions for sale. And despite it being a little way out of the city centre, we visit BookBar – a small yet popular bookshop and wine bar. As soon as they post on their socials that Claudia has signed stock for their store, their phone lines are flooded with customers reserving copies.

Throughout the day, I make notes for my article about Claudia’s passion for giving back to independent booksellers. But I keep getting distracted by the notifications on my phone, which have been going off nonstop for most of the day. It’s the group chat with Jones, Sal, Laney and Patrick – everyone is frantically trying to help Laney and Patrick plan their wedding. Which is just around the corner. Guilt digs a pit in my stomach. I know I should be replying. But as each day brings this new chapter of my friend’s life closer, I feel more as if I’m about to say goodbye to her.

As we finish at BookBar, I turn off my notifications and slide my phone back in my pocket.

With Claudia wrapping up inside, Elliot and I head out to wait for our car. It’s our first break of the day and I realise that Elliot and I have barely shared a word with each other. Was it the silence between us that I was afraid of? Is that why we’ve spent the last week arguing? I guess without all the fighting, we’ll have to face everything we’ve been avoiding saying to each other. But I’m not ready. Not yet.

‘Where to next?’ I ask.

‘The Notting Hill Bookshop,’ he informs me.

Notting Hill. The words send a chill through my body.

‘I thought you’d be excited,’ Elliot says, sounding confused. ‘You’ll get to see the blue door, The Travel Bookshop and Portobello Road. Check some items off your bucket list.’

I raised my head, meeting his gaze. ‘You remember all that?’

‘Of course I remember,’ Elliot replies with a smile.

Looking into his eyes is like staring directly into a time machine. It takes me right back to our movie nights at The Terrace. But just when I feel my heart collapsing in on itself in this moment of silence, our car arrives, and Elliot darts back inside to get Claudia.

On the thirty-minute car ride, we leave behind the usual London grey and turn into streets lined with townhouses painted in shades of bright pink, orange and light blue. I know I should feel excited about the chance to visit Notting Hill, but my body is tense.

We pull up to The Notting Hill Bookshop. While it isn’t technically the same shop featured in the movie, it’s hard to miss the dark blue panels that frame its charming red-brick exterior. There’s a bike leaning up against the shopfront, and as I wander up to the window, I see that there’s a display of literary novels set in London piled high. Elliot and I leave Claudia to sign copies of her books in the back room while we browse the shelves. This was one of the best parts about exploring new bookshops. Discovering what they had to offer that you couldn’t find anywhere else. Still, I can’t shake the thought that visiting this neighbourhood – this bookstore – without Dad is wrong. He had wanted to come here so badly.

After all the copies of These Days are signed, Elliot announces that the car is arriving and he and Claudia head outside. When the car pulls up, I hesitate.

Elliot looks at me with concern. ‘Carlos?’

‘I’ll meet you back at the hotel. There’s something I need to do,’ I explain.

Before I can stop myself, I take off down the street at a run. The closer I get to where I’m headed, the more my heart races. But I need to do this.

I turn a corner onto Portobello Road. The markets have been set up in the middle of the street and they appear to stretch off endlessly in both directions. There are stalls with antique furniture, second-hand books as well as cheesy tourist prints of London. As I walk down the street, I bask in the fact that this neighbourhood is just as charming as I thought it would be.