Page 67 of Hate You to Love You

Claudia is still looking away from me, but I get a glimpse of the wistful expression on her face through the reflection in the window. ‘I’ve thought about this moment for so many years,’ she says. ‘And I’ve thought about all the people who claimed I’d abandoned my readers.’

Cheers ring out from below and Claudia closes her eyes, immersing herself in her thoughts. ‘I know that my readers were disappointed in me. They had a right to be. I owe them a lot. If it wasn’t for them, my life would look very different.’ Claudia pauses and opens her eyes. ‘I loved everything about life as an author. The tours. The bookstore visits. The festivals.’

I drag over a chair and take a seat in front of her.

‘I knew that disappearing the way I did would upset a lot of the people who had made the life I loved possible. But at the time, it was the only way I could cope with—’

Claudia halts and looks up towards the ceiling, shutting her eyes. With each word she says, I forget who she is. The bestseller lists don’t matter. Neither does the fact that she’s one of the richest authors in the world. This is someone who is scared. Who has made mistakes. A person who just wants to be loved.

‘Cope with what?’ I ask.

‘Is that the time?’ she asks suddenly, looking up at a clock on the wall. Then she takes a deep breath and gets up from the bench. ‘Now, where is Elliot?’

I stare at her blankly. ‘Didn’t he arrive with you?’

She arches her brows at me. ‘He organised a driver, but I haven’t heard from him since last night.’

Claudia puts her phone in my face, and she scrolls up at her last few notifications. ‘Look, he sent me dozens of texts.’ From what I can gather, they’re mostly clarifying where to meet for today and how the event will go down. But there is also a string of messages asking Claudia if she’s sure she’s comfortable meeting fans again. There’s a fraught tone to his texts, almost frantic.

Just as I pull out my phone to call him, he dashes up the stairs.

‘Sorry,’ he mutters, buttoning up the front of his vest as he approaches us.

‘Is something wrong?’ Claudia asks.

‘No. Everything is under control. Everything is perfect,’ Elliot says firmly. ‘Are you ready for this?’

‘As I’ll ever be,’ Claudia replies.

Two booksellers head down to let the four winners of the raffle in. The final touches of the morning tea are being set up on a table. Claudia moves towards the top of the stairs, preparing to meet guests.

‘What was with all those messages to Claudia?’ I ask him.

‘It’s just part of the job.’

‘I don’t know,’ I observe. ‘They seemed a little over the top. Did something happen last night? You didn’t reply to my messages.’

Elliot opens his mouth, his eyes meeting mine. There’s something he wants to say. He looks like he’s desperate to be free from the weight of something crushing him. But instead, he shakes his head.

‘Forget it,’ he says.

‘Just tell me,’ I urge.

‘It’s just…’ he takes a moment to breathe. ‘Look, you’re not the only one who wants to have fun again.’ His voice is shaky. The walls around him are coming down. I’d been so distracted by arguing with Elliot that I hadn’t realised how on edge he’s been.

I want to get him to open up more, but he steps forward when the first fan approaches Claudia.

I watch as Claudia makes an effort to talk to the four winners individually. Although she deflects some of their questions away from herself, it seems to come more from a place of genuinely wanting to connect with her readers. They discuss their favourite books and authors, upcoming releases they are excited for. When one of the fans asks Claudia about her disappearance from the spotlight, she effortlessly directs the conversations back to her latest book.

Eventually I return to Elliot’s side. It feels so natural to be sitting here with him. His face beams as he watches Claudia wrap up the morning tea.

‘Do my eyes deceive me,’ I say playfully, ‘or is that a genuine smile from the one and only Elliot Simpson?’

His smile grows and he blushes slightly. ‘What is that supposed to mean?’

I chuckle. ‘You just always have this cheeky grin on your face. This time it looks different.’

‘Well, this time I’m happy,’ he says.