Page 68 of Hate You to Love You

I study his face, letting the impression of his smile sink in. And I realise that this might be the first time since the tour started that I’ve seen him genuinely happy. The sarcastic comments he made to me, the big publicity grin he flashed for Claudia – was that just his way of hiding how he really felt?

‘What did you mean before, when you said I wasn’t the only one that needed reminding how to have fun again?’

‘Life didn’t turn out exactly the way I thought it would,’ he says.

Before he can elaborate, applause begins on the other side of the cafe. Claudia thanks her fans for their time today, and she hands them each a tote bag full of books and merch as they descend the stairs. Once they’ve left the store, she joins us by the fireplace.

‘That went well,’ Elliot tells her. ‘Really well.’

Claudia nods. ‘Mmhmm.’

‘Did something happen?’ I ask, sensing something in her tone.

‘No,’ she answers abruptly. ‘Today has been a lot, though. I think I’ll head back to the hotel. I could use some alone time,’ she says to Elliot.

‘It’s not too much trouble for me to take you—’ he begins.

Claudia holds out her hand, motioning from him to stop. ‘I’d prefer the alone time.’

Elliot bites down on his bottom lip, and takes a step back, pulling out his phone to call Claudia a ride. The booksellers, who have begun packing up, now tentatively approach Claudia to tell her what an honour it is to have her in the store.

‘The car is almost here,’ Elliot tells her nervously. ‘But the crowd—’

‘Please,’ Claudia begs. ‘Just let me go.’

Elliot raises his hands, motioning for Claudia to go. As she exits, we dash to the window, and watch as the crowd of fans outside erupt in a loud cheer. The security guards form a line, forcing everyone to part down the middle so Claudia has a clear path to the waiting taxi.

‘She’ll be okay,’ I assure him.

Elliot scans the streets as the taxi departs. ‘I know. But it’s still my job to make sure nothing goes wrong.’

Aware of the stress radiating from him, I decide to make a considered effort to get him to forget Claudia and the tour. Even just for a few hours. ‘Did you have any plans tonight?’

He removes his gaze from the window. ‘I left it open in case Claudia needed anything.’

‘Well, looks like you’re off the hook, so let’s do something. You and me. Tonight.’

chapter thirty-one

then

Seattle is nothing like I expected it to be. Every film, book and travel guide had warned me to expect dreary weather, and while there’s a crisp chill in the air, my parents and I have had nothing but sun and endless blue skies so far. It’s week one of The Great Rom-Com Pilgrimage, and my mind can’t help but wonder what Elliot is doing now. Was he settling in okay? Was he thinking about me?

It’s been over a week since we said goodbye to each other at The Vic, and I still haven’t heard from him. I don’t want to let the way we said goodbye dampen the trip with my parents, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about it.

I think about Elliot whenever we drop into a cafe for a morning coffee. There’s Ghost Alley, a hole-in-the-wall joint who maintain they have the best espresso in all of America. Would Elliot agree? When Mum takes us to Bake Shop for their pastries, I almost order a second cinnamon scroll for Elliot. As we wander the streets of the city, I constantly hover over his name on my phone. Wondering if I should send a message. But if I do, would I just be opening myself up to more hurt? Besides, it’s not like he’s reached out to me. I shake off the thoughts about Elliot, and vow to be present on the pilgrimage.

We walk down the cobblestone streets towards Pike Place Market, its large entrance sign looming over the bustling crowds heading in and out. Cars are backed up along the street, all seemingly waiting to find a spot to park. A couple of trucks crowd around the entrance, dropping off deliveries of seafood and fresh produce. Dad leads the way as we enter the market, which is cold and damp but buzzing with energy. He’d been sick in bed with an upset stomach for the first two days of our holiday, which made me worry that this trip was doomed. But after several cups of green tea, he was finally on the mend.

We’re to drop by the Athenian Seafood Restaurant and Bar, which is where Tom Hanks and Rob Reiner share an iconic scene in Sleepless in Seattle. The restaurant is closed by the time we arrive, but Dad is still able to point out the little plaque at the bar that reads: Tom Hanks Was Here. After exploring the labyrinth that is Pike Place, with levels and floors of shops and stalls that never seem to end, we decide to watch the sunset from Kerry Park, which is meant to offer a panoramic view of the city. So, we swap the teeming city streets for the quiet of suburban Seattle. It’s quite a long walk uphill from the city centre, but by the time we arrive at Kerry Park, the view we get is completely worth it.

The small park is on the edge of a hill, and we’re able to see neighbourhoods stretch out until they meet the main skyline. The Space Needle stands tall to our left, but what really takes my breath away is the expanse of Lake Washington and the mountains in the distance. Dad takes out his phone to snap a photo while Mum walks up to the railing.

‘Just like the movies,’ Dad exclaims.

I sit down on a bench and fix my gaze on the mountains that tower over the city.

Dad leaves Mum to enjoy the view and takes a seat next to me. ‘Something on your mind?’ he asks. ‘Or maybe… someone?’ he adds pointedly.