Page 80 of Hate You to Love You

Elliot glances slowly around the room. ‘The construction happening in the building opposite us. Um, the empty wineglasses. My clothes draped on a hanger.’

‘Good,’ I say. ‘If you ever find yourself spiralling, try to ground yourself with things that bring you back to the room you’re in. It won’t always work, but sometimes it will.’

He shoots me a bright smile. ‘I knew the guy with that magical outlook on life was still in there.’

I smile. It’s a reminder for me to start taking my own advice.

I wish that this moment would keep unfolding forever. But the ringing of Elliot’s backup alarm snaps us out of the tranquillity of the morning. He shuts it off again with a sigh.

‘We should go,’ he says apprehensively.

‘Yeah,’ I agree. ‘We should go.’

I slide out of bed to get dressed. While buttoning my shirt, I look around the hotel room and it hits me that Elliot and I have crossed a line we can never come back from.

‘What is it?’ he asks, catching sight of my face.

‘This is okay, right?’ I wonder aloud. ‘Us being together, while we’re technically working together?’

‘We don’t have to make any decisions right away,’ he says. ‘Let’s just focus on finishing the tour. We can work out what we are once it’s over. We have all the time in the world.’

Elliot and I rush through the city. Our walk towards McEwan Hall at the University of Edinburgh is mostly marked by silence, but for once, it’s not out of awkwardness. This time it’s because of peace. Eventually, Elliot points out cafes he used to frequent, shops he thinks I’d like and parts of the city he wants to take me to. I’m captivated by his presence, grateful that we get to spend time together again.

By the time we arrive at the venue, we’re a little late. A large arch that reads Edinburgh Literature Fair is set up in the square facing the entrance of the hall, which resembles a cathedral. There’s a billboard to the side, listing all the author talks happening onsite. Claudia’s commencement speech for the festival is taking place in the hall itself.

Elliot points to the tent. ‘There should be an area for us to—’

‘Are you Elliot Simpson?’ A woman clutching a clipboard storms up to us. Her Scottish accent is strong.

‘Yes. Can I help you?’ Elliot asks, taken aback.

She sighs and ties her curly dark hair in a high ponytail. ‘I’m Moira, with the events team here at the festival. Please tell me that Claudia Leighton is with you.’

Elliot frowns. ‘No. She wanted to get to the green room early – I arranged a car.’

Moira lets out a loud scoff. ‘Great. History is repeating itself. I knew this was a bad idea.’

‘Have you tried to contact her?’ Elliot asks.

‘No answer,’ she says. ‘And no one knows where she is.’

Elliot freezes. The atmosphere is tense. He doesn’t even blink. After a moment of complete silence, he takes off into the main campus building without a word. Moira throws her hands up in exasperation.

‘Where the hell does he think he’s going?’ she asks frantically.

‘I’m sure he’s taking care of it,’ I tell her.

‘He’d better be. We’ve sold out, and one thousand people are waiting for Claudia to give the commencement address for this festival.’

I try to shoot her a reassuring look before running into the building after Elliot. Darting into the hallway, I catch the door to one of the rooms as it closes behind him. When I walk in, Elliot’s pacing in circles, muttering to himself.

‘Elliot?’ I ask quietly.

‘I knew this would happen—’ he begins, before his own shortness of breath cuts him off.

‘Do you know where Claudia is?’

‘Of course I don’t know where Claudia is!’ he replies angrily. ‘She’s meant to be here. I’ve called her and she hasn’t picked up. She’s never missed one of my calls. No one from my team has heard from her either.’