Page 2 of Roses & Ruin

The fisherman appears above me, pale and sweaty. “You just keep holdin’ on, an ambulance is on the way,” he shouts. “Driver fell asleep, swore he drank three Red Bulls.”

Before I know it, I’m swarmed by paramedics and policemen. They pepper me with questions as they kneel beside me and check my vitals, but I’m still staring into the shadows where the boy disappeared.

“Don’t let him leave,” I keep saying. “You can catch him still, maybe.”

“Who?” A policeman squats beside me.

“That boy, the boy who saved me,” I cry, pointing at the inky black where he disappeared. Two EMTs swap looks.

“Darlin’,” the fisherman says, “I saw the whole thing. There’s been no one here but you, me, and the dog this entire time.”

Chapter 1

Please tell me I didn’t make a mistake.

It’s the only thought looping through my head as I shiver in the back seat of my Uber, watching the Boston skyline dissolve into mist.

Please. Tell me things will be better here.

As we get closer to the city of Fairford, the mist thickens into a fog pressing against the windows. I didn’t think I’d be so scared, so anxious. But there it is, that sharp, nauseous twist in my belly, proving that even though I know leaving home was the right thing to do, I am still nervous.

The Uber makes a turn, and the road becomes gently bumpy. Cobblestone street. We must be getting close. I lean forward, and through the windshield, I watch a towering set of brick and wrought iron gates emerge from the fog. Beneath an ornate crest at the top are handsome letters carved into marble: Payen University.

My heartbeat quickens as we drive onto the campus proper, passing giant oaks and maples and sprawling, gorgeous buildings of dark stone with elegant spires. This is what Payen University looks like? How am I supposed to fit in here? This looks like a university that teaches magic, and I’ve never been outside the state of California.

I squeeze my eyes shut, take deep breaths that don’t really help. Tell myself something I desperately want to believe.

You can do this, Rose. You’re three thousand miles away from anyone who knows you. This is your one chance to redo your life.

I didn’t visit Payen last year. I barely glanced at the pictures in the information packet. I applied based on one thing only: distance. The opposite coast felt like the bare minimum required to outrun what happened to me—the accident that almost killed me; the way everyone in Irvine looked at me after, like I was made of glass and might shatter without warning.

I couldn’t breathe there anymore. I needed to go somewhere else. Somewhere no one knew I’d almost died. Somewhere I could be just a girl, not a cautionary tale.

Payen said yes. Gave me a full ride. So here I am.

“We’re here. Coupland Hall.” The driver turns the car off and pulls an umbrella from out of nowhere. She hops out of the car to grab my bags from the trunk.

For some reason it is in this moment, sitting in the slightly stuffy, empty car in the rain, that my panic reaches its peak. Once I’m outside this car, I will be in my new life, walking through the doors of Coupland Hall, my home for the next four years. Turning back is the easiest in this moment. I can tell the Uber driver to take me back to Logan International, book a flight back to Orange County. Irvine University would absolutely take me, with Mom and Dad being two of their tenured professors.

The thought feels like a knee coming off my chest, even after what happened last year. Because even though growing up in that town always felt like having a pebble wedged inside the sole of my shoe, even though this past year I became the Weird Almost-Dead Girl, at least it’s a misery I know. At least I’d have my parents: They may have always been baffled, maybe even a little spooked, by me, but they also love me.

What if it’s worse here?

I close my eyes, put my shaking hand on the door handle. I’ve come this far. I’ll never know any other life if I don’t try.

I open the door, step out into the rain. The Uber driver wishes me luck as she hands me both of my suitcases. I swallow hard, pulling on the soaked hood of my sweatshirt, and face Coupland Hall. It’s beautiful. Intimidating. A three-story brick building with steeply pitched roofs and gable trim. I make my way to Coupland Hall’s front doors, peering up at the array of windows, wondering which one is mine.

I start to shiver as I struggle to pull my luggage up the three steps to the wooden doors. It’s the beginning of September, but it’s freezing today.

“Need help?”

I glance up from my suitcases to see a petite girl smiling from the open doorway, holding an umbrella, her long dark hair silky and dry.

“Thanks, but I think I’m okay?” I say as one of my suitcases slips from my fingers and tumbles down the stairs.

“Clearly.” She laughs, jogging over to help me. She holds the umbrella over both of us as she takes one of my suitcases and we walk into Coupland Hall together.

My assigned roommate is named Remy Linklater, and I’ve never seen her picture. Maybe this is Remy, I think as she leads me through the building’s lobby.