Page 20 of Library of Forbidden Books

Chapter 11

First Inspection

Berlin

June 14, 1933

Life in Germany was becoming suffocating. Every morning Helene woke with tightness in her chest and the feeling that things were going from bad to worse. Her wedding was just over a week away, but she felt no excitement. How could she start a family in the kind of place her country had become? She looked to the other side of the bed and saw Kaiser, who had recovered his typical energy after a few days of rest. That morning he had been licking his paws contentedly for some time, and Helene was jealous. Animals were beyond the reach of the diseased atmosphere of the human struggle for power, money, and prestige. Their natural world was so far from Helene’s.

The cat lazily sauntered over and began licking Helene’s skin, as if intuiting her need for comfort. She embraced him and wept into his silky fur.

Since the book burnings that had occurred throughout Germany, dozens of Helene’s colleagues had been dismissed from their posts, to the great indifference to the vast majority of German citizens. Prestigious authors had gone into exile: Thomas Mann to Switzerland, Bertolt Brecht to Denmark, Alfred Döbblin to France. Helene had once heard that the real reason books were written was to keep people from being destroyed by loneliness. And now she felt lonelier than ever before.

The door opened, and Derek entered with warm croissants. He wanted his fiancée to feel something like hope again and to enjoy the small things in life.

“Good morning, my love,” he said, kissing her forehead.

“Good morning. Thank you for breakfast.”

“They’re still hot.”

Derek took off his mess jacket. He had to wear his uniform every day now to avoid problems. Even so, the SA would jeer at soldiers, whom they considered bourgeoisie.

“I’m going to the library today, but I don’t have to be there early. Lena and Klaus should be there. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth keeping up with this work. Nothing will be the same ever again.”

Derek stroked her hair, and a tingle ran down her scalp from where his fingers had touched her. The pleasant sensation reminded her that she was alive.

“Next week we’ll be man and wife. I’ve planned a honeymoon to Austria. We’ll be in the Alps, visit traditional villages, and get out of the heaviness that’s here in Berlin.”

“But is that a good idea? Maybe we should go to Switzerland. My parents have some friends there.” She paused before moving her thoughts in another direction. “I’m trying to get my aunts, uncles, and grandparents to get out of Germany, but the Nazis have put up all sorts of restrictions, like how much money they can take with them. Most of them don’t want to sell at a loss what it took them several generations to acquire.”

Helene was dragging her words out slowly. Derek had never seen her so lethargic and glum.

“You’ve got to get your spirits back up. Better times will come. You’re always telling me that you’re not ashamed to choose happiness.”

Helene wiped the tears from her eyes. “You’re right, Derek. I should stand up and fight. If everyone gave in, there would be no hope for Germany.”

She went to get dressed, and over breakfast they talked through some final details about the wedding. That afternoon Helene had her last fitting for her dress. Her mother, grandmother, sister, and mother-in-law would be there.

Derek drove her to the library. Patrons no longer dared to visit. The book burnings were fresh on their minds, and it was safer to be a good German than to read. Mothers no longer brought their children by. The elderly men and women who used to come in were now wasting away in the parks, sad to have lived to see such barbaric days. The city was like the backdrop to a bad Wagnerian opera, just a stage of uniforms and flags.

Derek gave Helene a long, slow kiss in the car, wishing to transmit to her all his strength, though in truth he was nearly as discouraged as she was. They really were becoming one: When her arms drooped, he stood and lifted his.

He watched her cross the street, then turned the key in the ignition. His boss, von Blomberg, had been named Minister of War and Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces. Derek accompanied him every day to his interminable meetings, with a mission to expand the army and build up a Germany that would prevail throughout Europe.

Watching her fiancé drive away, Helene’s spirits sank again, but she turned to the library and tried to act normal with her colleagues.

Lena welcomed her with a big hug. She knew what a hard time Helene was having. “How are things today?” she asked, walking with Helene back to her office.

“All right. Are you coming this afternoon to my dress fitting?” Helene was counting on Lena’s presence.

“I’m supposed to meet up with Gabor, but I’ll be there for a little while.”

“Oh good! That’s the first good news of the day.”

Klaus was busy shelving books to fill in the dismally large gaps. He caught Helene’s eye, and gave her a wink.

“Can’t I come too?” he asked.