Page 41 of Library of Forbidden Books

“What do you mean?” Klaus said, pulling back so his tears didn’t wet the shoulder of Lena’s blouse.

“What she said about being a librarian and the covers of a good book . . . Helene started a secret library there at the camp. It’s unbelievable. Only she would think of something like that.”

Helene had become a very busy woman. On top of her work sewing uniforms and giving literacy classes in the afternoons to several women, she also loaned books to some of the prisoners.

Anna had shown her an empty cavity in one of the walls near the place where the block leader slept, in a separate room. When no one was in the barrack, Helene would slip in, grab a book, find an excuse to go to one of the other workshops, deliver the book to a fellow prisoner, and tell her when it was due back. She had loaned out over half of the books that way.

It all had to be done with utmost secrecy. Reading was not against camp rules, but under no circumstances were prisoners allowed to have anything belonging to another. Besides, many of those particular titles were banned.

One afternoon, Alice was reading Pride and Prejudice. She was so engrossed in it that she failed to hear Elke approaching with her sidekicks.

“What’ve you got there, you swine?” Elke growled, ripping the book out of Alice’s hands. She struggled to get out, “‘Priiiiiide and prejjjudisss.’ What the hell is this? A piece of British garbage?”

“Give it back!” Alice cried and sprang up to grab for the book, but Elke shoved her back as easily as swatting at a fly. Alice fell back hard onto the bed.

Just then the block leader came in and saw the scuffle.

“What’s going on?” she demanded.

“The Berliner’s got a book. Such a pain; this is her contraband.” Elke handed the tome over.

The block leader glanced at the cover and then at Alice. “I’m going to have to report this.” And she marched out with the book.

Elke gave Alice a smug smile. “Well, this is going to end well. Just wait till the lovely Ludmilla hears what you and your librarian friend are up to. I know she’s got to be behind this. You’d never have gotten mixed up with that rot without her.”

Alice started shaking. She knew what Ludmilla was capable of and that the guard would seize any chance at all to go after Helene. Alice started to sob and ran out of the barrack to warn Helene, but she was too late.

Ludmilla, book in hand, was already delivering a heated diatribe to Helene.

“Excuse me, ma’am,” Alice tried to intervene.

“Who invited you to the party? This is none of your business,” Ludmilla snapped and then smacked Alice with the night stick.

“Don’t do that!” Helene cried, automatically grabbing Ludmilla’s hand to keep a second blow from falling.

At that, Ludmilla’s face lit up with delight. She wrenched her hand free and turned her full attention to Helene.

Within minutes, Helene was unconscious on the ground. Blood was pouring out of her nose and from one arm.

The guard looked at the inert body and smirked. “Not even human,” she hissed under her breath as she grabbed Helene’s hair and dragged her to the door of the barrack. She stalked away, leaving Helene’s limp body there, her unseeing eyes open.

Chapter 23

Anna

Moringen

June 1, 1935

Helene did not return to the hospital. Though her wounds were more superficial than the time before, that second beating from Ludmilla broke something deeper in Helene. It penetrated to her soul. Everything she had always believed in and fought for was now in doubt.

The block leader allowed her to stay in bed all day sleeping, since she was pregnant and could lose the baby. Anna brought her food every morning, afternoon, and evening. Alice was riddled with guilt over what had happened. She read to Helene at night, hoping that books would help heal the invisible wounds in her heart.

Helene thought constantly of Derek and his life outside the camp. She did not want to let herself get caught in the chains all around her. What the guards wanted was to break her down, to deconstruct her personality. She sensed her own vulnerability and knew that she was at real risk of caving. That knowledge was its own kind of pain, nearly physical. Yet somehow Helene trusted that she would hold out. She clung to the belief that God had put inside each human being an inviolable force of dignity and love.

The beauty of the words she heard every night in Alice’s sweet voice began to work its magic. Books, her old friends, were healing her once again.

“How are you today, dearie?” Anna asked, stroking her forehead as Helene began to cry. “Don’t fret; it’s all passing. Hold on to that idea. Life is much more than a few years of suffering on this earth. On this side of eternity, everything seems painful and confusing. But on the other side, there’s hope. When we look at life from this perspective, it lessens the pain just a smidge.”